In The Stillness Between Moments
by Elariel Erestorion
Summary: I am Eruanna Mernaselde of the house of the Tree, once I was called Anne Marie Buchanan and I will be known by that name again. This is my story, a true story, although it all occured, in the stillness between two moments. LegolasOC not Mary Sue Semi-complete see author's note in chapter 16.
1. The Beginning

_Disclaimer: Although there is very little in this chapter that I have to disclaim, I will say I own nothing relating to Lord of the Rings or any other work of J.R.R. Tolkien or any other tidbit that might be used later on that is not my own, will comment on those as they come up._

The Beginning

It was in my twentieth year that I, Eruanna-Mernaseld of the House of the Tree, found myself in a position for which I was never expecting to find myself or that I was ever prepared for. I was a mortal and by the standards of my people had just reached adulthood. I was intelligent, considered quite gifted by my people and I had a life full of possibilities before me. It was the year two-thousand and four common ear, and I was a second year university student major in political science and linguistics. I was my plan to become an activist for human rights working.

I lived in a world that had forgotten what joy there was in simplicity. A world of 200 some countries separated into three different groups. The poorest countries in my world were known as the third world, general ravaged by wars. Most were in the southern hemisphere. In those countries pain, suffering, hunger and disease were rampant. The living conditions for the majority of the populous were deplorable. They had no money and what money they did have was more often then not going to fund a war. Next there were the developing nations; these were countries that were beginning to find their feet. They were starting to come out of that black hole of poverty that was the third world. Yet still many struggled. The first world was formed from the wealthiest countries, generally holding to some sort of democratic system of government. They controlled most of the monetary wealth in the world and had a relatively higher standard of living.

No matter where you lived in the world it was apparent that it wasn't an altogether happy place. Wars were fought constantly. A week wouldn't go by that one wouldn't here of someone dieing cause someone didn't like their country or their faith. I remember now as clearly as the day it happened when 4 passenger jets were high jacked and 2 were flown into the Twin Towers in New York and 1 one in to the Pentagon the military base of the most powerful nation in the world. The forth plane crashed into the ground. The people on aboard over came the high jackers and destroyed the plane before it could reach its target. In this act they showed themselves heroes as they gave their lives to save others, a heroism that I later saw many times over but that was rare in my own time. The death and tragedy did not end with the hundreds that died that day. That one acted of terrorism lead to years of war.

War, I hate the very word. The act of war caused so much heartache in the world of my birth. Yet, I was never any where near it. I lived my life in a country known for its stance on freedom and peace. It was called Canada, located north 49 degrees north latitude. Many associated my country with her winters and natural resources. It was the second largest nation in the world as far as land mass but with one of the smallest population densities seeing that much of it was empty wilderness.

I grew up roaming through her forests and swimming in her lakes. My father, being a geologist, had passion for the study of the nature world and took joy in teaching his daughter and son all that he knew. He took us to the east coast and the west saying that in seeing the variety that our land processed we would come to learn about her best, and through that knowledge understand that our world was gift that we had to cherish with all our hearts.

By the time I was twenty I had travelled much of the length of my country with my parents. I had learnt survival skills, being able to find shelter in the wilderness for a night or two. I had a basic knowledge of botany and knew what plants could be eaten and which could kill you. These skills did little to help me in the challenge I had ahead of me but I did not know that at the time.

I chose to go to school at a small University in Northern Ontario. The city was much to my liking as there were many trees there due to the reforestation effort. Unlike many North American cities it didn't look as though a cement truck had run over it. Often when the paths were not snowbound I would walk home from school along the forested path that led from Campus in to the city proper. I would put on my headphones and listened to songs written about my country. I loved Canada with all her heritage. I loved the music that spoke of the courage to survive anything she would throw at us.

I am of Scottish decent from the Clan Buchanan. I felt a great connection both to Scotland, the land of my father's people but also to Newfoundland, from whence my mother's people came. Both were places where the old ways still lived, and legend had not been forgotten entirely. It was through these familial connections that my interest in linguistics had sprung.

I had been taught Gaelic at my grandmother's knee. My grandmother Buchanan had been raised on a little isolated isle in the northern sea; she did not see a city until she had turned twenty. As a child she had spoken Gaelic, and although she had learnt English in school she loved the old language of the Celts best. Few knew the ancient language of the Celt. I loved it, especially the songs which were so sad but utterly beautiful.

I hated however, that our history was so full of pain and war. As I said, war infected the world of my birth and it was bred into us. All I had to do was think of those clan markers at Culloden to know that. How many of my ancestors lay unmarked in that field I will never know. It hurt to think of it. How many children grew up with out the love of their fathers? How many mothers mourned for lost sons? How many young wives lamented when their gallant husbands did not return home?

However, if I thought I hated war at twenty, I was soon to learn that I had not begun to loath it. Although war infested the world of my birth like a harmful pest, the evil there was only human. It was evil generated through the choices and intolerance of the people of the world. I would soon to learn there were far greater evils. There were things of the ancient that could freeze you to the depths of your heart, and implant fears that you would never forget.

I was walking home one day in early spring just after the ice had broken up in the lakes. I remember my batteries dieing in my mp3 player as I came for a fork in the road. Putting the small electronic device in my backpack I decided that, seeing the path to the beach on Minnow Lake was open and free of snow, I would go walk up to the cliff that was just beyond it. It was a bit of a hike so I left my school bag at the base of the cliff to make the climb easier, it was nice to be free of its weight. I reached the summit and stood letting the wind blow my hair away from my face. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

My mind went back to a spring day a couple years before when I had stood next to Loch Lommond in Scotland not far from where the ancestral Castle of Clan Buchanan stood. I imagined I stood on the rampart of an ancient Scottish keep watching my Laird ride home. I closed my eyes and I could almost hear the tattoo of the drums and the cry of the bagpipes. Then the wind changed.

_Please feal free to review and to criticize this story to your hearts content this story well being a project I'm very enthusiastic about is also a way for me to improve my writing, but I can't do that with out feed back. Any questions or comments you wish to give and don't feel free doing so through review email me at . Hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Namarie_


	2. The Fall

_**Disclaimer: I do not put any claim on any thing of or relating to Tolkien's works. Those belong solely to the great professor of whom I am simply a humble admire.**_

**_Author's Note: Feel free to review and tell me what you think. I always enjoy receiving constructive criticism on my stories. If you notice anything of a canonical nature that is incorrect in this story please let me know. This chapter will contain much death including that of a fairly prevalent character. Just a warning._**

I heard a woman scream. My eyes shot open and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I stood off the side of a courtyard of white marble just behind an ornate pillar carved with intricate detail to look as though it were wrapped in vines. There was a group of people running towards me, all seemed to be tall, come were dark and others were fair. Many were clad in bright armour and held drawn weapons. I felt the heat of a strong fire that was not only heat but evil as well. One of the people in the group called to me, when I did not respond another member of the group ran over to me and grabbed my arm and pulling on it, urging me to run. I was in shock…moments before I had been on a cliff over looking a peaceful lake with a forest vista, the leaves just budding on the trees laid out before me, and then I was in a city of white marble that was obviously the most beautiful city I had ever seen, even though it was being sacked by monsters.

I couldn't think straight, and that was when I could think at all. All I knew was that someone, who at least appeared to be human, was telling me to run, so I ran. We ran and ran, through the streets and buildings away from the fighting. Those of the group with swords were slaying monsters as they came at us. I couldn't think it was all so foreign to me. I had read about wars, I had learned of the horror of them through books and films but no war I had read about could prepare me for seeing this. This wasn't men fighting men; it was monsters. There were creatures that that looked humanoid but horribly mutilated. There were great lizards with leathery wings that could only be called dragons and they were breathing fire scorching everything that was in their path. There was some kind of wolf larger and more vicious then any animal I had ever seen. The worst of all were the beings that seemed to be composed of fire, shadow and evil. This was like something out of a fairy tale, a fairytale that had turned into a very scary nightmare.

All I could do to keep from sitting down and staring dumbly until one of those nightmarish creatures came and killed me was to run. So I ran. I ran like I never had run in my life. After a time it registered that the person who had grabbed be had not let go of me. In one hand he carried a gleaming sword marred with black blood, and his other hand still held my arm firmly. We ran near the back of the group my saviour shielding me with his body as well as his gleaming sword as we were ever attack by our hellish pursuers. All around me many of the warriors fell cut down by what seemed to be an unstoppable reckless hate. I noticed in my numbed state of mind that many bore the same heraldry has my saviour did

For a time the attacks on our group lessened. We approached a place that had been both sacred and joyous; so much happiness had been brought here that you could feel the joy in the very air. It felt as though everyone should be singing and dancing, that to be anything but happy was wrong. However, none did feel happy and none would ever feel happy here again. You could feel the happiness in the place fading and dieing.

Before a beautiful fresco stood a sole warrior and a woman, the woman's hair fell unbound to her knees, her wreathing her in its golden radiance. I had never seen a sight more beautiful in my life. The leader of the group of our group spoke with the women. I understood not their words but I could feel the pain and grief that deadened every syllable that they spoke. The woman's voice held so much agony it made me want to weep. The man turned from her but the woman called out to him and fell to her knees before him. She clasped his knees laying her pale cheek against them, tears were pouring down her cheeks. I remember feeling that someone as beautiful as she was should never have need to cry.

I turned from the couple in time to see the great white tower that stretched above the city burst into hot flames. Many of those about me screamed in dismay. One of the great dragons decimated the base of the tower and it fell into smouldering ruin. It seemed to be that in that moment the people of the city understood that there was nothing left here to save. The people could now only be saved by escape. So again we ran, my saviour had not let go of my arm and although I had never been a runner preferring to bike, I ran faster then I had believed I was capable of. We entered on of the palaces that had yet to endure destruction of the nightmares that surrounded the city.

We ran through the corridors and great rooms of the house. Others joined us; I assumed they were members of this household. We came to a door in what looked like it was built into the very wall of the burning city itself. The door was opened and the group crowded through. Those with swords stayed at the rear guarding from behind. The person who held my arm pushed me through the door and then went to hold of any of the foes who could be now heard coming through the palace we had just passed through.

Through the door was a tunnel then a long downward flight of stairs. Down we went, it seemed forever. I am still not sure to this day how much time had passed that day from when I had opened my eyes in the court yard and when we stopped running. At one point I tripped over the body of one of the fore guard of the group. I felt as though I might have thrown up if I had had anything in my stomach to throw up at that point.

Finally, we came out of the tunnel into a pass under the open sky, night lay over the land and in the sky the stars were brightly shinning unsullied by the terror that reigned below them. This was the not the end of our travels. On ward we journeyed continuing for we knew what would follow behind. It is amazing the strength that is given to the hunted.

At dawn the sun hung over the mountains in the east and our group came upon another small group of refugees all of whom were on foot as we were. They were being attached by those hideous humanoid creatures astride the great vicious wolves. Quickly, a group of warriors detached themselves from the group with which I travelled and went to aid the refugees. Our leader seemed glad to see them, and in time they prevailed over their foes. It was then that I noticed the child, who for all his hair was dark as shadows one could not mistake him for anyone but the leader's son.

We travelled on moving further from the fallen city. I walked with the women, children and injured. I would occasionally lend a hand to one who needed what strength I could share with them. We were far back in the group. Behind us was only our rear guard, the warriors who did not sustain any injury. I became weary and was beginning to believe that I would soon falter and not be able to go on when we were beset both from behind and in front.

The mutilated hideous humanoid beings pored out of the hills and we were hard set, it seemed that seemed to me that all was lost and that none of us would survive. Out of no where came one of those nightmares of dark fire attacking the warriors who guarded us from behind. Many of the company fell, and I do not think they would have prevailed had a great bird not swooped from the sky with talons like iron sending the nightmare creatures to their death. Many found their death by flames that day before my saviour from the courtyard cast the monster down into abyss next to the pass. The brave warrior fell with the nightmare creature to his own end. Although in those hours I had seen more death then I had ever wished to see, for some reason seeing the death of the person who had given me a chance to live through this horror hurt me more deeply. Knowing that I would never be able to thank him I let out a heart wrenching cry that I had not know was possible for the human voice to utter.

The great bird that had come to our rescue sped down into the abyss. I recognised the shape of the bird as that of a golden eagle. Yet he was mightier and more magnificent than any eagle I had ever seen in my world. Shooting up he came again, bearing the body of the brave warrior. Together with the others I helped bury him beneath a cairn of stones. I heard the name Glorfindel, utter many times through this process, uttered in tones of awe and grief. It was then, it hearing that name that I knew where I was. I understood what was happening around me. It was then that I knew I was no longer in my own time or world. All that I knew was gone, all I had learnt of life and survival my world was near useless. The only truths I had to go on were the writings of an Oxford professor about a world that was nothing but a mystical fairy tale. I was in Beleriand, at the Fall of Gondolin.


	3. A Chance To Gain Trust

**_Author's Note: I just want to thank Chantal, my first reviewer, as well as my Beta Last Temptation of Homer (go read some of her stories they are quite good). Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy._**

A Chance to Gain Trust

As soon as Lord Glorfindel of the House of the Golden Flower had been buried our company moved on. I tried to calm myself, but I had been quite shaken by the death of my saviour and by the discovery of where I was. I did not understand what was happening. I was a student of political science, and I could not comprehend how this, for lack of better words, quantum leap had occurred. As we continued our march I decided that in view of my need to survive I had to accept my situation and deal with what came. I couldn't waste time and energy trying to understand something that was entirely beyond the realm of my understanding.

Night had fallen, yet we continued to march on. I was exhausted and very hungry having had nothing to eat or drink but a bit of water from a stream where we had paused since I had opened my eyes in the courtyard many hours before. Just when I thought I was going to collapse one of the elves, yes, I knew they were Eldar pressed a flask into my hands. I took a small mouthful and I felt my tiredness leave my limbs. I felt my mind wake up and become alert and I was able to continue. Smiling, I returned the flask, not really noticing anything about the person who had given it to me other then she was blond and female. I remembered that in the Fellowship of the Ring Gandalf had given each member of the Fellowship a sip of the cordial of Imladris while on Caradhras, this given them strength to continue through the snow. I also remembered that Lord Elrond's paternal grandparents were somewhere in this company. Thus, I decided that it should not be a surprise that a similar cordial could be found here.

At dawn we stopped for a few hours rest in a fairly large cave. I slumped to the cave floor which was nothing put hard packed earth and fell asleep, in spite of all my fears of what might be following us. Even the cordial that I had been given could not make up for the failings of the human body.

I was woken about two hours later by the crash of thunder. I had never been able to sleep during thunderstorms, even back in my own world they had kept me from my rest for entire nights. So I lay curled up on the cool cave floor, and listened to the storm rage outside. I tried as I lay there to remember everything I had read about elves, the War of the Jewels and Middle-Earth in general.

It had been several years since I had read Tolkien's books and it surprised at how much I could remember at all. I had been quite obsessed with the books as a young teen between the ages of twelve and sixteen. However, other then going to the movies when they had been released I had neither read nor done anything connected with Tolkien's world in the last four years. Quenya, I realised was the language these elves were speaking. I had studied some Quenya years before, but it was hardly enough to make out more then a word here and there. I sat up leaning my back against the smooth grey stone wall of the cave and my stomach grumbled loudly. I realise I hadn't eaten in over a day, and I was feeling dizzy and weak from low blood sugar levels.

One of the elves straightened from where he had been talking to a young elfling with dark hair. I recognised the elf as the one who had led us from Gondolin and the elfling as the child who had been rescued from the wolves. I watched as another elf approached him and began to speak to him quite forcefully. I could feel the tension between the two ellon crackle in the still damp air of the cave. Their discussion was becoming quite heated though their voices were no louder then a forced whisper. I couldn't help but feel that it was wrong for any argument to take place between any of the members of the company when there was so much set against them from outside as it was. The argument was finally quelled when a golden haired elleth, who I remembered also form our escape, came over to the two and spoke quietly to them. Although it was obvious neither of the elves were completely happy with the agreement she had made them come to they stop arguing and went their separate ways.

The blond elf who had originally been talking to the elfling said a few more words to the golden haired elleth and then walked over to me. I realised to my shock that he was not an elf at all. He was tall and had a noble bearing, and his light hair flowed over his broad shoulders. I had never seen a man like him, not only in looks but in the aura of command that he exuded. If I had met him walking down the street in the middle of my home town I would have said he was a king and perhaps I would have even gone as far as to name him Arthur. However, he was for all these attributes human. He did not have the same glowing aura that many of the elves had and his ears were rounded like my own.

He said something to me in Quenya his voice was soft but at the same time there was something in it that made one feel compelled to pay attention to what he said. All I was able to make out of what he had said to me was the word herinya, which meant my lady. I assumed that he was questioning me. I guessed that his questions were along the lines of; what is a mortal woman in the strangest clothes I have ever seen doing in a city of elves, where no being may come with out the leave to the king. I knew that my Quenya was not sufficient to communicate my story to him, so I just shock my head and shrugged my shoulders to show that I did not understand what he said. I then pointed to myself and said, "Anne-Marie Buchanan."

He nodded and repeated my name back to me stumbling slightly over my last name and then he point to himself and said Tuor. He handed me a small square of bread that was wrapped in a leaf and was a rich golden colour. Although I did not know it at the time the special grain used to make the bread had been brought with the Noldor from Aman. It had been grown in a sunny glad within Gondolin itself. The bread had been made by Idril, for it as was the costume that only the highest ranked Eldarin lady do so, after all the bread had been first given as Yavanna's gift to the Eldar. Idril had begun the preparation of the lembas when Tuor had first come to Gondolin bearing Ulmo's message, she had known in her heart that the supply of bread would be needed. I looked up at him and smiled. "Hannon-le," I whispered dredging up that much from my patient though infrequent studies of the then believed fairy tale language. I could not remember if it was Sindarin or Quenya but I did remember from the Quenta Silmarilion that outside the halls of the Noldo princes Sindarin was the language most commonly used in day to day interactions as it had been the Sindar who had first colonised Beleriand.

He smiled at me nodding his head, and then he stood and walked over to one of the elves who had been to be standing guard at the cave's mouth. I took a bite of the bread and I felt a hundred times better, new strength flooded into me and my prior dizziness faded away. A sad smile graced my lips as I remembered a line from the first Lord of the Rings movie, "Lembas bread, one small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man." This bread was just a good, I thought. Later I would learn that they were one and the same.

A couple minutes latter as I was licking the crumbs off my fingers, the ellon that Tuor had spoken to just after he gave me the bread came over and sat down next to me on the cave floor. He touched my arm gently to get my attention, I looked up at him, he was quite tall, some inches over six feet and even sitting he was a good deal taller then I. He had dark hair that fell straight to his shoulders and simmered even in the weak light, and sea grey eyes that shone with a bright intensity, I was sure they saw everything even in the semi-dark of the cave. Touching his chest he said, "My name is Laiqualasse."

I understood what he was saying, again just general intuition and having been trilingual to begin with along with the little studying I had done of Quenya all those years before allowed me to understand the meaning of his words. Nodding my head I pointed to him and repeated his name and then point to myself I said, "My name is Anne-Marie Buchanan." He looked at me quizzically, and then attempted to say my name he tripped over it worse then Tuor had. I smiled weakly at the trouble he was having with my name, a name that was so common place in my own world.

It was strange how the memories came back in those early days before my memories had begun to fade. Unbidden I would remember something that had been buried deep. At times small details would resurface things that I did not comprehend why I should remember them at all. I pointed at my self again and said; "My name Quenya, Eruanna-Mernaseldё."

Although my grammar had not been quite right Laiqualassё understood my meaning and corrected my grammar. At that moment Tuor called something out and everyone started to get up. Those who had packs got their things together and we all headed out of the cave. The air was much to warm for the clothing I was wearing. So I removed my jacket and rolled up my sleeves in an effort to keep cool, however the days march was still horribly uncomfortable. Laiqualassё did not leave my side once that day; I wasn't sure at the time whether he had been chose as my guard because they thought I was more at risk then the other or because they weren't sure whether I was a threat. Later, I learnt that the latter was true.

That day we halted our march at night fall, much to my relief. We camped that night in a large clearing that had a stream running through it. I went immediately to the stream and drank my fill and rinse my face and hands of the days dust and sweat. Laiqualassё knelt next to me and ran his figures through the water. Looking at me he said "neen" holding up his hands with water in them. I smiled nodding to show I understood his meaning and repeated the word to him. Then he lifted his hands to his mouth and drank the water within. Swallowing he looked at me and said, "sukin". I mimicked the drinking action and repeated the word he nodded knowing I understood. I was repeating the two words over and over in my head willing my self not to forget them. As he filled his water skin, and washed his hands and face he told me words for the actions and the things. I was fascinated by everything I was taught, though looking at the water skin made me wish for a good Nalgene bottle; I preferred plasticy water to leathery water any day. It was as such that my lessons in elven language were begun. From that time on I did my best to learn all I could even when Laiqualassё had to speak with Tuor or he was on guard duty, I would repeat all the words I had learnt and their English equivalents forcing myself to solidify them as well as their meanings in my memory. I wanted nothing more in those days then to communicate with those around me.

One evening less then a week later after we had stopped for the night I sat eating a square of lembas at one of the fires, Laiqualassё stood on the other side of the fire speaking with Lord Tuor. I was mussing over the words I had learnt and was trying to construct a sentence out of them. However, a list of verbs and nouns was not a sufficient lexicon to construct anything more complex then the words themselves. I gave up in disgust, and began to listen to those around me trying to pick out any words I knew in their speech. I didn't see anyone approaching the fire at which I was sitting, nor did I hear anything so it was a surprise to me when I felt some one lay their hand on my shoulder. I jumped out of my skin in fright. Leaping from my seat I spun around to face whoever was behind me. I came face to face with the golden haired elleth form the flight and the same elleth who I remembered calming Tuor and the other elf at our first rest.

She had a shocked looked on her face, she hadn't expected my quick motion. She gave me a wane smile when she saw that I was calm. She indicated herself and said "Idril." Then she lifted her hand and I notice she held a light shirt of white material. She indicated the shirt and said "baidha." Then she said something that I later learnt translated to "this is a light shirt for Eruanna." At the time I only understood my name, but her intention was clear. I accepted her offer gladly as it would mean that my days walking would be much more comfortable. "Hannon le," I said. She smiled again, you could tell that each smile took effort there was such grief in her. She turned and walked back to the fire where Tuor sat with his son on his knees talking to the child.

Most of the elves were wary around me. I did not like this as it made me feel ostracized, nor did I understand it for both Tuor and Idril the obvious leaders of the company had both spoken, if you could call it that, to me. This wariness was because of the words of a single elf. The ellon that had been arguing with Tuor had been Lord Gilmir, one self-important elf who had believed himself to have been the right hand of Turgon. At the time I had no idea who he was, but later I unfortunately learnt more of his character then I wished to have known. Lord Gilmir had ever spoken against the union of Tuor and Idril and had no favour for mortals. The argument I had witnessed had been about me. Lord Gilmir spoke against keeping me with the group, even mentioning that I should be put to death so as to eliminate any possible threat I might pose. He believed that the mire fact that I had been in Gondolin in the first place proved my guilt. For it was law that any stranger who found their way to Turgon's hidden realm could not leave again and each was presented to the King upon their arrival. As I had never gotten leave of the King to enter or dwell within the city, in Lord Gilmir's eyes for alone I was culpable.

I do not know how Tuor would have reacted to Lord Gilmir's words had he not already known of my presence. It was Idril I had to thank for that. Idril Celebrindal, Princess of Gondolin, had been the elf who had given me that one sip of cordial on the first day. It had been she who had told Tuor that there was a mortal amongst them. Thus when Gilmir had come to Tuor ready to slit my throat, both Idril and Tuor told him to give me a chance for Idril had felt no evil in me as she had in Meaglin. Idril told Gilmir that there had already been too much pain and death. It would not be right to add another death, especially on of a possible innocent to the toll. It was more these words spoken by the daughter of the King he had served that made Gilmir back off, then the words of the mortal man she had married.


	4. Trust

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Any time someone is speaking this is in actually spoken in pure Quenya. This will be the case until other wise indicated. I tried having everything spoken in elvish in italics but it ended up being a horrendous amount of text written in italics. If another language is used it will be indicated.

Trust

For the next three weeks we traveled, we were all on foot and living basically on the elven bread, water and what game those with bows managed to bring down as we marched. There was no time for hunting or gathering what food stuffs that nature could provide us with. The cordial I had been given on that first day was saved for emergencies. 

Onward we marched southward around the mountains, those who seemed to be guarding were ever watchful to our surrounding. I and my companions lived in fear. The feeling of it was often palpable in the air around us. The Noldo that surrounded me still tended to ignore me with the exception of Tuor, Idril and of course Laiqualassë, who was never far from my side. He seemed to be responsible for the organization of the guards and often Lord Tuor would take council with him. I was grateful for his presence even though I knew he was there because I was not trusted. He was a constant in this life, one thing that I knew would always be there, through all the inconsistency that had become my life in that time.

Aside from Lord Tuor, Idril and Ëarendil, I knew little of the other elves in our company. Although I had not counted I guessed at the time there were well over five hundred elves in our company but short of a thousand. There were many more ellon then there were elleth or elflings. This I later learnt was because many of the elleth had been hidden away when Gondolin had been attacked and had not ventured from their hiding places, thus did not know of the exodus that was taking place.

No one of the company spoke much, yet in every eye the pain and sorrow over the loss of the fairest of Noldo cities ever built upon Middle-Earth was apparent. Lord Tuor led our host with the grim determination of one who saw little light at the end of his path. Had it not been for his love for Idril and Ëarendil I'm sure he would have done some rash, like marching on Angband itself, with nothing but his sword in hand.

In those first weeks my instruction in Quenya continued. In his need to ensure I was not a threat Tuor had instructed Laiqualassë to teach me Quenya as he was also my guard. Laiqualassë¸ was my sole teacher though both Idril and Lord Tuor would take a moment to teach me a word or two if I was near them when they had time. The language was much more difficult to learn than French had been. Half the problems I was having stemmed from two things. This language was nothing like any of the three languages I already knew and also the form of Quenya I had previously studied years before had been later-exilic Quenya, in other words the language that the Quenya these elves spoke would become in some six thousand years. In six thousand years a language changes quite a bit even when those who speak it are immortals. It helped that I was immersed in the tongue, nothing speeds learning like necessity. All those around me spoke no other language in my hearing. This occupied most of my time and kept my mind from the horrors I had witnessed and my own gnawing insecurity about where I was, and why I wasn't at home.

After another three weeks on the road I noticed that my clothes were loose and baggy. The shirt that Idril had given to me now fit perfectly where it had originally been too small, however it was filthy. You can only get something so clean when washing it in a stream with out any soap. My jeans were not much better. They were frayed around the bottoms and there was a hole in the left knee from where I had fallen one day as we marched. I knew I must look like quite the state. My hair was a tangled mess as I had only my fingers to comb it, my hair was long and fairly curly had my figures were not sufficient to keep it under control, often I felt jealous of the elves straight hair for I could only imagine what it would take to get the rats nest out of my own brown locks.

One night I was sitting looking up at the stars marveling how similar they were to the ones at home, there was something missing from the sky however, and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't place what it was. I sighed and looked around me. Laiqualassë¸ was not far away talking to one of the elleth. He was never far from me, ever watchful of all that moved but he still stayed near his charge. The others were gathered around the fires some speaking in quite voices others just sitting staring into the flames. There were some hurts that time in this world could heal; I wondered how many of these good beings would even have the opportunity to take ship. I shuddered to think of how many would reach Aman through the halls of Mandos.

"Eruanna," I heard someone say, interrupting the flow of my thoughts.

Everyone here used the elvish form of my name and almost invariably they left off the Mernaseldë, with the exception of Laiqualassë. Whenever I did something that caused Laiqualassë to become irritated, mostly it occurred when I allowed my mind to wander from where he wished my attention to lie he would use my full name. This is the only way that my teacher ever expressed his displeasure, never did he raises his voice nor did he speak or act violent manner, he would simply spoke my full name in a tone that would ensnared my attention.

When I looked up and I saw Lord Tuor crouched before me. "Perhaps, now that you know our language you can tell me from whence you came and how it is that you were in Gondolin on the day of its fall." He's voice was gentle and southing yet it held a quality tone that broke no refusal.

"Yes, my Lord," I replied. All the company called him Lord for he was the fëa-mate of their princess. I couldn't help but think of him as Lord, for who in my time could have embodied such honour, courage and chivalry? These were virtues of lost importance in my time; Importance had instead been placed on wealth and who you were connected to. Power was given, not to those who could best employ it for the better of all, but to those who had the largest bank account balance with not a single thought to whether the power would corrupt. Yet Lord Tuor had earned every ounce of the power he had, through his actions and his courage.

"I come from somewhere far from here, both through time and space. By the reckoning of my people perhaps, twelve thousand years and many thousands of miles lie between here and where I awoke in my bed the mourning before Lord Glorfindel pulled me from behind that pillar in Gondolin." When I finished I looked up at the fair man that knelt next to me.

Lord Tuor looked at me aghast. "You are form the future then?" he asked.

"Yes, I believe so. It is the only explanation of my situation that makes any sense what so ever. My name is Anne-Marie, which is as you know in Quenya, Eruanna-Mernaseldë. My family and Clan name is Buchanan, amongst my people a clan is something like a house but yet is very different. I am an academic, studying political science and linguistics, that is the workings of laws and governments as well as languages not just how to speak them but how they are formed and the histories behind their development. There are no words in any language you would recognize to explain my world to you. You must believe me, my Lord, for I know this tale is wholly unbelievable." I took a breath. It was true. How can one explain a world where machines are built things that soar like birds out of metal, and war was fought with explosions and roars not the crash of metal against metal and the hiss of the arrow leaving the string?

"I was walking home from my university; a university is the place one goes to study under the lore masters of my time. The snows had melted enough that could reach the summit of a cliff that over looked a lake just off the university grounds. It is my favorite spot because from there you can see the entire lake and a good portion of the forest as well.

"I stood at the summit of the cliff and was enjoying the feeling of the cool spring wind blowing in my face. I closed my eyes and envisioned that I was standing on the rampart of a great keep; watching my Laird ride in, a Laird is was a lord of my father's people is called. Then the wind changed, not in direction or intensity but in quality. I heard a woman scream and I opened my eyes. I found myself in the nightmare that was Gondolin that day. The rest you know." I finished and let out a deep breath, looking into Lord Tuor's eyes, I saw incredulity in them.

"Ask me not of the future for here and now it the time of crucial decision. I would not have my foreknowledge affect any decision made. I dare not for even the slightest change could effect what may come. There will be pain and anguish to come of this I have no doubt. However, I tell you now that there is hope. Those who dwell in the west will forgive ere the age ends. That is all I can say. I ask you, Lord, to do what you believe you must to protect those you love." I looked into Lord Tuor's eyes and awaited my doom, in my last sentence I had told him to kill me if he believed that it would the correct course of action.

"I do not believe that anyone could make up such an absurd tale. Thus, I must accept it. I believe that you mean us no harm, Eruanna. You may continue traveling with us, if that is your wish," said Lord Tuor.

"I thank you, my Lord," I replied. "I will continue to travel with you for I know not where else to go. This is not my time and I have no home, or family to return to. I hope one day I will be able to return to whence I came, where I belong and continue the life I left. For now I wish only to exist and not to affect what I know must happen for all to be well." I smiled at him; it seemed to ease him a bit. It was hard to smile. After all that I had witnessed and experienced it was amazing that a smile could help ease the grief at all. I wondered if I could ever truly know joy again, if I would ever be able to laugh again as though I did not have a care in the world.

"I will take my leave then," said Lord Tuor. He rose walked back to the fire at which Idril sat with little Ëarendil in her lap, her long golden hair cascade around her shoulders and Ëarendil seemed to be braiding a piece of it from her temples. I watched as Lord Tuor approached the fire, Ëarendil, leaving his braid, reached his arms up to his father and Lord Tuor picked him up swinging him around in a circle. Ëarendil let out a shriek of childish laughter. I smiled once again, when so much had been lost, so much had been destroyed some thing never changed, the joy of a child in his father's arms is one of them.

Lord Tuor accepted my explanation much easier then Lord Gilmir did. The pompous elf continued to say that I was not to be trusted. Gilmir and I would be fated to never see eye to eye. He tried with all his might to turn the others in our group against me; however I had the protection of Lord Tuor and Lady Idril who were much respected by their people, and Lord Tuor they had taken to their hearts as both their guide and chieftain as he had been proclaimed as such by Turgon himself. Many knew of Gilmir's prejudice against mortals and thought naught of the words he spoke, but once something is thought it can't be taken back. I lived many years with the shadow of Gilmir's muttering haunting me.


	5. The Teacher

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tolkien's works, nor the Time Quartet, that is Madeline L'Engle's. And the song is called Harvest of Culloden and I don't own it either, I am not sure who wrote it but it is sung by Deanta._

The Teacher

At the time, however, I did not know what trouble that Lord Gilmir would cause me. I felt relieved that those with whom I had shared everything would now accept me and believed that I meant them no harm. I rose and walked away from the fires for a moment, feeling the need for some solitude. Looking up at the sky once more I realised that my favourite light in the night sky was missing. I had noticed it earlier but now I knew what it was. Venus shone not in the western sky. I turned once more and looked to where the child who observed the world with his bright blue eyes was held in his father's strong protective arms. I smiled once more with the knowledge that here in this child was the salvation of this world.

Suddenly, I felt melancholy sweep through me. I missed my home, my friend, my family, and my studies. It had been a month and a half yet nothing had really sunk in. What I had told Tuor about being twelve thousand years away from my life time was only what I had deduced based on Tolkien's works. I hadn't really thought about what that would mean. Now in this small copes of trees south of the now ruined city of Gondolin I wondered how all of this came to be.

Why was I here? My first thought was that I yet stood on that cliff about Trout Lake and that this was some elaborate hallucinations. It seemed so real, I couldn't accept that this was the out come of some chemical imbalance in my brain mixed with too many hours of reading Tolkienesque literature as a young teen. This was more vivid and detailed that anything I could ever have imagined.

The only conclusion I could come to was that this was indeed the past of my own world. I remembered reading the Time Quartet by Madeline L'Engel. In those four books the principle of the teseract was discussed. I later did some research on them. A teseract, I mused on it for some time. The theories were so fantastic, I loved dreaming about the possibilities that they presented but I had never really believed that those possibilities were real. I was a girl who believed in what I could see and what I could help, these obscure theories of science were not with in my realm of understanding. However, now I was forced to believe that bother the works of Tolkien and the theories of teseract were fact. A teseract gate or something like it, I was still having trouble grasping it. So, my life had just gotten a lot more complicated.

I sighed, sinking to the grass tears running in rivulets down my face. A song came to my lips. I hadn't sung since I came to Beleriand. For some reason I couldn't find it in myself to sing. Now the music just poured out of me.

Cold the wind on the moors blow  
Warm the enemy's fire glows  
Black the harvest of Culloden  
Pain and fear and death grow

'Twas love of our prince drove us on to Drumossie  
But in scarcely the time that it takes me to tell  
The flower of our country lay scorched by an army  
As ruthless and red as the embers of hell

Cold the wind on the moors blow  
Warm the enemy's fire glows  
Black the harvest of Culloden  
Pain and fear and death grow

Red Campbell and fox did the work of the English  
MacDonald in anger did no work at all  
With musket and cannon 'gainst honor and courage  
The invader's men stood while our clansmen did fall

Cold the wind on the moors blow  
Warm the enemy's fire glows  
Black the harvest of Culloden  
Pain and fear and death grow

Now mothers and children are left to their weeping  
With only the memory of father and son  
Turned out of their homes to make shelter for strangers  
The blackest of hours on this land has begun

Cold the wind on the moors blow  
Warm the enemy's fire glows  
Black the harvest of Culloden  
Pain and fear and death grow

_(Sung in English)_

I let the last note of the heart wrenching song fade away, and I felt someone's gaze on my back. I spun around, only to find Laiqualassё standing with his back against one of the trees watching me. His gray eyes burnt into me with a glowing intensity.

"What is it you sing of with such pain and grief?" He looked at me with a questioning face. I didn't want to tell him not really. There was enough grief in this world with out adding one that was from the future and would not be a worry for quite some time. In the end, however, I could not keep from answering his question. It is quite disconcerting to be under the gaze of one of the Calaquendi. As Sam said in the Lord of the Rings, there are elves and there are elves. They are all elvish enough but they are quite above my likes and dislikes. I understood this now for the fёa of the elf lord that stood before me burnt with the intensity of the sun compared to my own.

"It is a song of a battle," I answered in little more then a whisper, "a battle that took place two and a half centuries before my birth. It was called the Battle of Culloden Fields. There my ancestors fought those who had long occupied their country. They lost, and many died. After the battle those who lived in Scotland the country of my forbearers had to leave, they were made to leave their homes and cross the ocean to the Americas those that remained were little more then slaves." I looked off into the distance; I remembered the clan markers at Culloden. I pondered again how many of my brave ancestors lay beneath that field.

Laiqualassё listened intently as I spoke of a battle that chained Scotland to the British Empire forever. "It pains me to hear of a triumph of Darkness," he said bowing his high noble he had. I realized that he had interpreted the story I told on the basis of what he knew.

"No," I whispered. "They were no evil in the way one can be evil here, they were not bound to a Dark Lord. It is land, wealth, power and religious belief that drive the people in my world to war. It seems that we can not live and let live. It is better in my life time but war is still there, war as you would no recognize it, war with weapons that can kill millions in minutes." Names flew through my mind, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.

"World peace is a dream that my world has the ability to realize. Yet, still there are people who crave power and other still who can not accept that not all people share their beliefs." I shivered as the scenes I had seen on the television set in the student services office in my high school flashed through my mind. I could see it again in my minds eye, those monstrous planes colliding with the towers in plumes of fire and smoke.

Laiqualassё looked troubled, "Lord Tuor has told me you are a child of the future. You gave him hope with your words." I realized then that this Noldo lord was troubled by the fact that in twelve-thousand years this world would still be racked by war.

"This is the time of the Noldor, Laiqualassё, my people are yet children." I looked up at him. Some weeks earlier I had learnt how to call some one Lord, and I had tried on him but he had told me that he had a name that needed no embellishment. "You know a there will come a time when the elder children will leave these western shores and turn guardianship of this Middle-Earth to men. I can't help believing in some ways that my race betrays that trust. Yet, for all the pain and suffering to come, there will also be great beauty. Some knowledge will be lost but much will be learnt. Arda of the Eldar will be remembered as a fairy tale. Men will no believe that the Eldar exist as you are. The Valar will be known under many different names as will Eru Illuvatar. You are lucky, for you have never seen where religion can drive a people. The passion that can come from believing your own beliefs are the only possible truth. No army in my world goes into battle with out believing that Eru is on their side."

A very distant look came over Laiqualasse, as though he was remembering something particularly pain full in his past. "I was at the kin slaying of Aqualonde." The words came out in little more then a whisper. I knew that for the Noldor the kin slayings were something very difficult to speak of. "I was there... I fought to protect the Teleri, my Lord's mother's people from those who followed the son's of Feanor. I understand what it is you speak of, the fury that differing beliefs can lead to.

"I see how this troubles you, Eruanna. You are well named, Eru's gift, a gift to your people you must be to have such strong feelings about all that is wrong in your world." I felt like a child in his presence, small and insignificant.

"There is little I could do, I am still quite young in the eyes of my people and seeing that my family is a normal family with no real connections to those in power, I did not have access to the right path ways. However, I was studying so that one day I could be in a position where I could help. It was all I wished to be, a voice of peace for those with no voices. It was a dream, one that did not have much likelihood of coming about."

"I believe that you underestimate yourself, little one, for there is a quiet strength in you." He regard me calmly, "Can you wield a dagger child?" he asked.

I looked at him skeptically; strength did not dictate power in my world. "Nay, I can not," I replied.

In a fluid motion he unsheathed a dagger and spun it so that he held the unsheathed blade in his hand. He extended his arm offering me the hilt. "Take it, I will teach you its use." He smiled at me as I tentatively to the hilt. "One can not live in this world without being able to protect oneself."

"Why would you teach me?" I asked. "Lord Tuor said that I was not a threat, you have no need to guard me, for I am no threat to others."

"Have you not thought, Eruanna that someone might want to protect you from harm? To teach you, you have great potential of mind. I was a scholar myself before I left Tirion and was exiled. I would like this opportunity to teach one of the future. Share the knowledge that I have accumulated." He looked at me, curiously as though I was some new puzzle to work out. "All I see with my eyes is a young mortal, yet my mind senses something different in you. Most mortals feel finite. It is like my minds eye sees their life span before me, a line cut off. But you seem stretched; I can not feel an end of the line."

"I don't say I understand what you speak of yet I have been confirmed in my belief that some things are not meant to be understood, only accepted." I looked down at the knife in my hand. The blade was about a foot in length made of bright metal, graceful tengwar runes graced the blade. The hand length hilt was worked with a tree in silver filigree, the symbol of his house. "Will I have a lesson this night, my Lord Teacher?"

"You shall, my student," he replied unsheathing a second dagger like the first.


	6. Pathes That Bend

Paths That Bend

The next morning I awoke with a soar back and shoulders. I had several bruises where I had tripped and fallen. Knife fighting was harder then I would ever have had imagined. Laiqualassё suggest that when we reached Nan-Tathen in another month he teach me to use a bow as well. This excited me for I had actually done some archery before.

As we marched that day Laiqualassё told me stories of Aman and the early days of the Exiles. He began to teach me Sindarin which for all my training in linguistics was more difficult the Quenya by far. The lessons kept my mind off my sore body and off the horrors I had seen. Yet, still nightmares plagues the few hours of sleep I got when we paused in our march. I would dream of orcs and dragons attacking my family home, wolves and balrogs destroying my school. Such terrors rained in my mind if I did not keep myself busy during the days as well.

Thus, my life continued for the next month. Lord Tuor began to send Earendil to join my lessons, both academic and martial. The adorable young elfling out did me by far at the martial arts. As I grew stronger, and got steadily better with the dagger Laiqualasse began to add bits of hand to hand fighting.

I remember the first day he pulled a move that didn't involve the knife. We were sparing after setting up camp as we did every night. He lunged at me and I saw an opening in his defenses. Ducking downward and to the side I got inside his guard. In m moment of triumph I found myself on my back with a blond elf holding a knife to my throat. He had spun in mid lunge and used his leg to sweep my feet out from under me.

"Watch your footing," he said. He had said that so many times before, but that had been in reference to my falls over tree roots and rocks. I glared up at him with venom but he just laughed. Reaching down he grasped my hand and pulled me to my feet. "Do you think orcs will fight fair?" That was all he said. I knew he was right and never let his tricks bother me again.

A month past and we had yet to reach Nan-Tathen. Indeed we were still traveling through the same dense forest through which we had traveled the previous two months. It was this month that I came to a realization. One that startled me to no end, my moon times had stopped. I wasn't so regular that skipping a month was odd but three was unheard of for me. It puzzled me. I knew that a woman could loose her moon time if she lost a lot of weight or was under great duress which I had and was, but it still worried me. I decided to leave it be, and hoped that things would return to normal once we reached Nan-Tathen and ceased this endless traveling.

I was tired of walking, I was tired of being scared and I was tired of death. I had often been recruited to help dig graves on the march. All told we had lost just over a hundred of our number in those first tow and a half months. Some had died form the wounds they taken at Gondolin's fall for not even elves heal well when they do not stay in the same place for more then a day. Other faded, the grief became too much for them to bear and their fёa broken fled their bodies to seek the peace of Mandos. The rest had died in the small skirmishes that had occurred as we marched; thankfully none of the orc groups that attacked were great enough to posse a significant threat.

The company if anything became grimmer, little singing was heard and never laughter. Even the children were solemn of face and voice. Earendil was ever serious and worried more then I though a child should ever have need to worry. We had become friends little Earendil and I. Often we would share our takes, hunting for fire wood, fetching water, and we shared our lessons. I think Idril and Lord Tuor were glad that Earendil could spend time with me and let them be free to deal with all of the daily workings of our company. Laiqualassё still found time to teach Earendil and me but he had become increasingly busy helping Lord Tuor lead our company, and organize the scouts.

I remember the night I trudged tiredly into our resting place and had found stretched before me what was undoubtedly our campsite from three nights before. Slowly all of the company filtered into the clearing and understanding, shock and horror registered on every face.

Lord Tuor told the company to set up camp once more while he took council with the other leader. Earendil was once again left with me. We began to collect fire wood together. "Eruanna, what do you think happened? The sun set not an hour ago and we were going west." Earendil asked touching on the question I had been asking myself.

"I do not know, Earendil. Some things are beyond my understanding and I find that it is best if I simply accept them and deal with them." I leaned down to pick up a piece of dry wood off the forest flour.

Earendil simply nodded, he then bit his lower lip. "Will we ever get to Nan-Tathen?" he asked. "Wait, Eruanna, you don't have to answer that." He said quickly. He did not know my story, but he did know that I knew things that others didn't and that I was reticent to speak of them.

"Thank you, I will tell you this. Have hope, you are a light of this world. All that is holy will not forsake you if you hold faith." I smiled at Earendil. "I bet I can collect more first wood then you before Laiqualassё comes for our nightly training." I set off at a run with Earendil hot on my trail.

It was a half an hour later that Laiqualassё returned. There were two considerable piles of wood collected, but alas, Earendil's was larger then mine. Laiqualasse just shock his head when he discovered our game. He seemed to believe that Earendil and I had far too much energy. By the time he let us stop our training that night we both could barely move and Earendil had beaten me once again. Tally, one day, Eruanna zero, nine year old child 2, I shook my head in despair.

Over the next two months we seemed to walk in circle though no one could ever recall walking in any direction but west. Many of the company were quickly loosing hope of ever escaping that thrice cursed forest. Meanwhile I continued to keep Earendil from worrying too much my captivating him with my challenged.

By the fourth month out of Gondolin it was getting much colder and I began wearing my sweater again. I had returned the white chemise to Idril after having taken an entire evening washing many months worth of dirt and sweat out of the fabric. When I presented it to her she smiled to me and thanked me taking the shirt. She then handed me a green cloak, saying that I would need it in the cold weather that would come. It was now my turn to thank her.

I did need that cloak, for as Idril had warned the weather soon got very cold. It was in the sixth month out of Gondolin, an entire half year that we came to the edge of the river Sirion. There was snow on the ground and it shone cold in the clear winter sky was we emerged into open land by the river bank from beneath the trees. If I had not been tired I believe that I could have danced for joy of finally being free of the woods. I had ground up around forests and trees and loved them, but this one was much too eerie for my tastes.

The night after we escaped the confines of the woods Lord Tuor led us to a cave that he knew of down river not far from where we stood. Once we reached the cave it was announced that we would stay there for a sennight as Lord Tuor wished to send out scouts before continued on. It was a relief to all that we would have an opportunity to rest.

We had very little elven bread left and it had been reserved for emergencies. Every day as we had walked every one keep their eyes open for anything edible, our group now numbered just over 600 little more then two thirds of its original sizes however that was still a lot of people to feed. I worried at first on our arrival in the cave about the issue of feeding every one but it was then that Lord Tuor revealed a large cash of cram bread, which although not as good as lembas was excellent traveling food, and dried meat.

It was another month of traveling along the verge of Sirion before we came to the willow meads. Our company was very weary and traveled slow, but in time we came to the willow meads, Nan-Tathen which would one day be called Tasariand.

_Author's Note: I know this chapter is short but I promise the next one which is in its last stages of editing will make up for it. This is really just a filler chapter to get us up to where something interesting happens. Chantal if you have trouble understanding anything email me at That goes for everyone who has questions and comments. _


	7. NanTathen

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

Author's Note: From this point forward everything spoken is spoken in Sindarin unless otherwise stated.

Nan-Tathen

Nan-Tathen was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. Every kind of willow imaginable grew there and sparkling streams of laughing waters wound their way through the forest. All told it had taken us almost seven months to reach the willow meads, much longer then Lord Tuor had originally hoped for. How can one describe the shifting paths which mislead and befuddled? We had been attached many times and though we were at time hard pressed to escape we finally prevailed.

We entered the Willow-meads near day break and the air itself seemed to lighten as we walked beneath the trees. Laiqualassё walked next to me. He pointed to each of the different kinds of willows and told me their names in both Quenya and Sindarin. I noticed that Laiqualassё's step had become lighter and was more relaxed although he was still ever watchful and alert. I wondered if there was more to this new found ease then merely walking amongst beauty once more.

I still don't know how Lord Tuor led our company straight to the camp of the refugees who dwelt with in the forest, but half a day's march into the Willow meads we came to their encampment in a small vale at the joining of two streams. The refugees were from many different roots. Here Silvan, Sindar and Noldor elves from many different places in Beleriand had come together almost by chance. Most of the refugees were from Doriath but to the surprise to many among those from Gondolin there was a small group of ten refugees from the fallen city of Nargothrond, from which none were thought to have escaped the slaughter. Some among our company knew these elves and for them it was a bittersweet reunion. Our company began to set up their own shelters among those of the of the refugees. I did not know where to go for Lord Tuor, Idril and Laiqualassё all had gone to meet with those who had taken a role of leadership in the camp, leaving Ёarendil in my charge.

Ёarendil looked up at me with his serious bright blue eyes; I noticed that he would not have to look up at me much longer. "Perhaps, we can go to the stream. I am quite thirsty and my water skin is very dry." He always spoke to me in Quenya, I think as it was the first language he had known speaking it gave him some comfort. Ёarendil ever saw matters as they were and he did not possess any of the childish foolishness that was common among children in my time.

We went to one of the streams where the water ran pure and clean. After drinking our fill we sat together on the banks in silence watching the comings and goings of the camp. I was trying to make up and down of the situations we were in, trying to remember what was to come. Although I did not realize it at the time my memories had begun to fade. I attributed my difficulty in remembering everything I had once known dealing with Middle-Earth to the terrors I had witnessed and having not read the books in a long time.

Ёarendil came and sat on the rock next to the stream against which I was leaning. The stone was a large bolder of cool grey limestone and there was nothing special about it. "Eruanna," he said looking down from his perch at me. I looked up to meet his eyes; it would always bother me to a certain degree to see such ancient solemn eyes in a child's face. "I over heard Nanneth and Ada speaking of you, they say you are a child of the future, but Lord Gilmir says you are child of Melko."

"Well, my Ada's name was James and I am certain he was not Melko in disguise." I replied lightly, the child just on the cups of becoming a youth smiled at my rather inappropriate joke. "A child of the future…yes…I am that…far in the future Ёarendil." He slipped off the rock and sate beside me.

"What is your real name, Eruanna? Nanneth tried to say it but she had trouble pronouncing it."

"I was called Anne-Marie Buchanan," I said this in a soft voice. My name felt strange on my own tongue, seven months had passed since I had been called by that name.

"You miss them don't you? Your parents, your family and your home." It was not a question but a statement. This was how Ёarendil was even as a child. He was very perceptive and it was nearly impossible to keep something from the precocious elfling.

"Yes, I do. My time is very different from this one. You must know very different things to survive there. But I loved my family, my home and my friends." He put his arms around my shoulders and hugged me. He always seemed to know when I need a hug. As young as he was we had become good friends. He was intelligent and cared so much about those round him. I knew he would make a wonderful lord to his people one day.

"Did you have a lover in your time, Eruanna?" he asked. I pulled away form the elfling detaching his arms from around me.

"Why do you ask?" I asked guardedly, I was shocked that he would ask this at all, it was probably the last thing I would have expected.

"I wonder about things. I watch people Eruanna, I take note of how people look at each other, how they interact. Your have not known loves touch, of this I am almost sure." Ёarendil's blue eyes burnt into mine. "Neither has Laiqualassё." With that last statement he dropped the subject leaving me in confused thought.

We sat in silence once again ach of us wrapped in our own thoughts. A slight breeze rose in the east blowing through the branches of willows. I pulled the cloak Idril had given me further around my shoulders. It was late winter and I had no more clothes then those on my back. My jeans were worn over a pair of leggings that Laiqualassё had give me. I had to roll the leggings up at the ankles as I was a good deal shorter then my teacher. I worry my blue sweater and jacket both of which were worn and stiff with dirt and sweat my sweater was frying at the hems. My hiking boots which I had fortunately been wearing the day I left my own time were in better shape then any article of clothing that I had. They were designed for hard use and had stood up well to the long walking. However, they were now laced with thin leather thongs rather then nylon laces.

I knew I looked a mess but I had no other cloths to were. My mind wandered to Ёarendil's comments about lovers. What nine year old child spoke like that? I shook my head and chocked it up to his elven blood. I couldn't help but find it disconcerting. What did I fell for Laiqualassё, I questioned myself. My first though was that he was my teacher, my friend and my guide in this time. He kept me safe through all the perils we had passed in the last half year. Then I saw those bright grey eyes looking down into my won and I shivered. I pushed such thoughts far from my mind.

I had been so deep in through I had not noticed the elleth approaching us until Ёarendil rose to his feet. She was not tall for an elleth and had dark hair bound into a single braid. I had never seen her among the elves of our company although her appearance reminded me of someone. I assumed that she was one of the Sindar as she had dark hair where the Silvan elves were blond.

"Mea Govannen," I said. She smiled a quiet smile in greeting.

"I am Mirwen of Nargothrond," she said in Sindarin Her voice was one of the most beautiful I had ever heard. I was a little shocked for of just over a hundred elves the one to approach us would be one of the few who had excaped the bloody slaughter at Nargothrond. "I come at the bidding of Lord Tuor and Lady Idril. They ask that heir son Ёarendil join them. They are in the dinning shelter," Mirwen indicated the only permanent looking structure in the camp.

"Thank you, Lady Mirwen," said Ёarendil. "I must no keep Nanneth and Adar waiting." With this he flitted away running towards the indicated building.

Mirwen did not leave however. "It was said that a mortal woman had come among the refugees of Gondolin, the Lothlim, as the call themselves now. One of the lords among them speaks ever against you, saying that you are a threat and a spy. Yet you have the faith and support of Lady Idril and Lord Tuor as well as many others among the company. I see no threat in you. Come, you will be staying with me," Mirwen led me through the camp to a shelter on the far side.

"Thank you for you generosity, my Lady," I said.

"There is no need for you to call me my Lady, my name is Mirwen and it needs o embellishment." Mirwen's words echoed very closely those of Laiqualassё months before. "I do not know your name," she said as we entered the make shift shelter.

"I am called Eruanna," I said.

"You said you are called that, but is it not your name?" Mirwen asked with a curious tilt of her head.

"Nay, it is a translation of my name from my own language to Quenya," I replied.

Mirwen nodded her head. "I suppose you would like to bath. I have an extra tunic and a pair of leggings that should fit you. I am so short, its is almost a relief to find one who is shorter then I, and yet is not a child." We both laughed, indeed though Mirwen was shorter then any elf I had met she was still a good three inches taller then my five foot six frame.

"Yes, a bath would be lovely. I can not seem to remember what it is to be clean," I replied. Mirwen nodded sadly undoubtedly remembering her own road to Nan-Tathen, pain flickered across her fair face clouding her bright eyes.

"Come we are not far from the hot spring where the woman bath and do our washing." Picking up a bundle of cloth from the ground she handed me the promised tunic and leggings. Then fetching a second bundle she led me away form the camp. We approached a pool that was surrounded by a screen of weeping willows. I noticed that many of the elleth from the company of Lothlim were already there cleaning both their bodies and clothes. When Mirwen handed me a cake of lavender scented soap I held it as though it were one of the Silmarils.

It took almost an hour to wash all the grim from my body and to clean my now hip length brown hair. I felt my hear and wished fro a bottle of good zero-frizz conditioner or at least a container of lanolin cream. I knew getting the months of accumulated tangles and snarls out of my curly hair was going to be a next to impossible task, and I was lamenting the fact that I would probably have to get some one to cut it for me.

After cleaning my body I got my cloths from where I had left them on a rock next to the pool. My jeans were beyond repair. There were many holes in them and the stitching one the seams were coming loose. I sighed; they had been my favorite jeans back in my own time. My sweater had suffered better than I had thought. I had worn a borrowed chemise as it had been summer in Beleriand when Gondolin had fallen yet it had been early spring in my own time when I had left, thus my clothing had been much to warm for the weather. I noticed that the material of my sweater was wearing thing in places, I decided I would pat the sweater with patches made from my jeans. The leggings were in good shape although they too had a hole where I had caught my leg on a thorn bush one day many weeks before. That too I decided I to patch, this time I would use material that I would remove when I hemmed the too long leggings. Idril's cloak although dirty was in good shape and I marveled once again at how such a light material could be so warm. My spring jacket was still in working order as well. Most of the screen printing had come off the back and one of the snaps was broken but the zipper still worked well. As I washed my jacket I was glad I had talked my mother into buying it for me as it was worth every cent of what she called the outrageous price we had paid for it. My sox, alas, were beyond redemption as was my underwear; I thanked what ever deity was watching over me that my bra was still serviceable.

Once my clothes were cleaned satisfactorily I got out of the warm pool and quickly wrapped myself in the flannel sheet Mirwen had give to me for use a s towel. I don't believe I have ever gotten dressed so quickly, as I did then with the cold air prickling at my skin. Mirwen's clothes were a little tight across the chest and hip and were too long in the arms and legs, as well as the bottom of the tunic that ended half-way down my shins instead of at my knees. It felt so good however to wearing clean clothes again, and thus I didn't care any longer how they fit.

Once I was dressed Mirwen, who had been doing her washing came over to me. "Let me do something about your hair, Eruanna." Said Mirwen, she picked up a brush of stiff bristles and began to work at my hair. In twenty minuets she had worded out the tangles and had braided it back into one thick braid. I was so glad that I would not have to cut my hair, the only thing about myself that I had ever found beautiful. "We should return to the camp, I help with the food preparation most and we have a much bigger group to feed now." Mirwen began to walk back to the camp after picking up her laundry.

"I would like to help as well." I said. "I am not a very good cook but I can watch pots and cut up food stuff," I offered.

"Thank you, Eruanna, help is always needed and readily accepted." We hung are newly cleaned clothing on a line that was strung between two willows near the fire closest to Mirwen's shelter, where they could dry. Then Mirwen led to me where meals were prepared. The collection of cook fires and work tables were wet near the dinning shelter and the entire area was a flurry with activity. Before our arrival most of the refugees had eaten inside the dinning shelter but now there were much too many. I was given the task of cutting up a root vegetable that looked similar to carrots in size and shape but was a brown as tree roots.

I soon learnt that there had been before out arrival about a hundred refugees in the camp, mostly Sindar but some from other elven settlements as well. Though the majority of the refugees were Sindar there were also some Laiquendi and Noldorin elves among them. Our group had been six hundred strong and that was putting a strain on what food there was to be had. Luckily, some of the guards who were in the forest around the camp had brought in a number of deer thus we were making venison stew.

After finishing with the roots I was set stirring a pot of vegetable stew. The Laiquendi did not eat meat and as we had a group of green elves in the camp a meatless version of what ever was being cook was always provided for them.

About an hour after our arrival elves began to filter in to collect there share of the stew. The large dinning shelter had been converted to a house of healing for the injured among the Lothlim. I learnt this when I was given a ladle and two buckets of stew and told to bring them to those within the shelter. For the next two hours I brought stew to the injured and those who were tending them. By the time that all those in the large shelter were fed I was quite hungry myself. I returned to the preparation area with my empty buckets. Mirwen handed me a wooden bowl of soup and told me to return with her to her shelter. She held two bowls of soup herself.

We reached the fire not far from Mirwen's shelter where we had hung our laundry. A dark haired ellon sat with his back to us on a log looking into the flickering flames. Mirwen approached him quietly. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her. His hair fell in such a way that I could not see his face. However, I felt that I should know him. I stood back as the two conversed in soft voices, that my human ears could not hear the words they spoke, Mirwen gave him the bold of stew and bowed his head in obvious thanks.

Then the elf rose to his feet and turned to face me. At that moment I felt like a complete idiot. Laiqualassё looked at me with laughing eyes. "Why, little one, do you not recognize your own teacher?" he asked. Thank you, Laiqualassё, I thought. Fro making me fell even more like an idiot then I already do. I thought this in English which I only did consciously when I was feeling emotionally stressed.

I wondered what lay between Mirwen and Laiqualassё. Obviously they had met before today. Could they have been promised while in Arvernien before Turgon had gone to Gondolin and Finrod Felagund to Nargothrond? Had they been separated by their loyalties to different liege lords? For some reason the though of Laiqualassё being promised hit me in the stomach like a fist. Making me feel ill, I tried to ignore this feeling.

"I see you have met my sister, little one," said Laiqualassё. It all made sense, the similarities in disposition, the faint similarities in appearance, Laiqualassё's lighter step as we had entered Nan-Tathen.

"You knew she was here, ever before we arrived at the camp, did you not?" I asked.

"Yes, she is my twin and there is a strong connection between us," replied Laiqualassё. "I know not hat she had survived until stepping underneath the eaves of the willows."

I couldn't help but smile, albeit a strained smile. There seemed to be so much love between these two siblings, who had been separated for so long. For all I felt happiness for them I could not help but feel a longing in my heart for my own brother. Padriage, he was named. It was the Gaelic form of the name Peter. Having grown up in the country where neighbors lived a good distance away and going to see friend involved getting parents to drive you we had become best friends almost out of necessity. We told each other everything; we cried on each other shoulders, laughed together and love each other very much. I had not known at the time if I would ever again see my brother.

"Excuse me, "said before slipping into Mirwen's shelter. I sat on the fern mattress that Mirwen had earlier indicated was my bed. I placed my bowl of soup on the ground. I saw on the mattress with my face in my hands and wept. I had not let myself truly cry for my family before then. I suppose that in my heart of hearts I still wished to believe that I would wake to find this was some absurd dream.

Tears flowed soaking the cuffs of the tunic and dripping onto my leggings, leaving darker splotches on the material. I don't know how long I cried but tears still poured when I felt someone pull me into their lab clasping me to their chest. For all that I had not recognized him earlier I knew it was Laiqualassё. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders crying into his chest as he rubbing my back and murmuring softly in Quenya. Finally, I quieted but I clung to him still. I didn't want to face the world yet, it was too harsh.

"Why do you weep, little one?" he asked speaking softly in Quenya, even though we had spoken only Sindarin for the last month to each other in order for me to practice the language.

"I will never see them again. I will die here and they will never know what became of me. They will think I have been murdered and my body never found or that I ran away , like a coward unable to face the real world." I looked up at him and bit my lip as felt more tears well in my eyes.

"Cry, little one, let it all out," he held me close as I wept again soaking his tunic with my tears. "There is not shame in showing grief. I doubt very much that you family believes you are a coward. There is no cowardice in you, Eruanna…Anne-Marie," she said my real name carefully taking care with each sound. I smiled weakly at his attempt, I stopped crying and pulled away form his so that I could see his face, such a beautiful face.

He reached up and touched my cheek whipping away my tears. "Never think that you are a coward, Eruanna-Mernasaldё. Never let other make you feel that you are."

I hugged him tightly and he held me close. "Thank you, my teacher. Thank you Mellon-nin."

"It is nothing, Eruanna. Come Mirwen frets. She feels it is she who has driven you to tears," said Laiqualassё releasing his hold around my waist. Standing he helped me to my feet. Bending he retrieved my bowl. "It is no longer warm but you must eat." He put the bowl in my hands and led me back to the fire.

Several other elves had gathered there, but Mirwen sat alone. Her bowl now lay empty on the ground and she was staring with a glazed looked at nothing in particular. I placed my hand on Laiqualassё's arm, telling him I wished to speak to his sister alone for a time.

"Mirwen," I said quietly approaching the elleth. She looked up at me there was confusion and hurt in her grey eyes. "Mirwen, I am sorry you had to witness that. Your reunion with your brother threw into stark relieve the loss of my own family. Please do not feel you have done anything wrong. "I said next to her putting my hand on her arm.

She smiled at me; it was a kind smile, a smile between friends. "Eruanna, can I call you a friend."

"Yes, of course. Truly Mirwen, you aren't the only one who needs a friend at the moment." Mirwen hugged me and we both laughed. Laiqualassё saw this as a sign that he could join us. He sat on the other side of Mirwen smiling quietly.

"Eat your soup Eruanna, you need your strength," he said picking up his own bowl and spoon.

_Author's Note: This has been changed from its original version because of a lack of consistency with canon that was pointed out to me by my beta. I am working on the next chapter however, I can't make any promises._


	8. A Moment's Peace Part 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Note: Please ignore the doted lines they mean nothing but I can't seem to get ride of them.

A Moment's Peace I

The shelter was not Mirwen's alone it turned out; she shared it with three other refugees. She introduced Curoneth and Ionvain to Laiqualassё and I. Ionvain and Laiqualassё had met before, as Ionvain had been at Arvernien when Laiqualassё had dwelt there, he had left to go exploring on his own and had never been seen again. However Curoneth, Ionvain's fёa mate, was Laiquendi, and thus she and Laiqualassё had never met. The third occupant of the shelter was Lailitha.

Lailitha was appeared about three years then Earendil but she was in fact only a year younger. Because of Earendil's part human heritage he matured physically faster then most elven children. Lailitha did not possess the stoic solemn countenance and astonishing maturity of intelligence that the little peredhil had. I wondered if this was because Earendil had been raised in the hidden seat of Noldo power being instructed in the royal court, where as Lailitha had been born in Ossiriand untroubled by policy and politics and had only come here when her father had received news of Nargothrond fall and had wished to find if any had escaped and if his sister, who had been a handmaiden to Princess Finduilas, was among them.

The first time I met Litha, as she was called, she was peaking out from behind a willow tree at me. She had large bright blue eyes and the silvery blond hair of the Silvan elves. She looked at me curiously with her big eyes then flitted away. Her mother had heard the rumors about the mortal woman who traveled among the Lothlim. Although she had trouble believing that I would be traveling among them if I truly was a threat she kept her child away from me as any mother would seeing even the smallest threat to her child.

The first morning in Nan-Tathen I awoke feeling more rested then I had in many weeks. I was amazing the comfort a simple pallet of soft ferns and pine bows could afford after over half a year of hard ground. I stood and stretched, pulling on my leggings under the long chemise that Mirwen had lent me. Then I put on my tunic deciding that I had to repair my own clothes knowing that my journey did not end here. I then went to the kitchen are to see if any help was needed.

Breakfast preparations were almost complete but Tinniel; the Sinda elleth apparently in charge seemed to have not short supply of tasks for idle hands. After allowing me to eat my breakfast of a bowl of gruel flavored with winter apples she sent me to clean the cooking dishes. I almost laughed at the utter irony of the whole situation. I had come through time and space, escaping from the death trap of Gondolin, and had made it through many perils merely to find myself doing the one task I had always hated most, washing dishes. I helped around Tinniel's domain until mid-day, at which point Tinniel told me to go and do something else for the remainder of the day.

Thus I went back to the shelter when I found Curoneth sewing a cloak from Lailitha. I asked her if I could help with her work. She gave me a needle and some thread and instructed me on patching one of Ionvain's tunics. It wasn't a beautiful sewing job but it was more then satisfactory. The tunic was in working order again before sun set.

At sun set all the inhabitants of the vale were called to the clearing near the hall of healing. Lord Tuor stood before the door with Idril and some of the leaders of the refuges at his side. Once all who were able to come were gathered he spoke to us.

"Peoples of Gondolin, and of Doriath, of Ossiriand and ye fortunate few of Nargothrond. We are here in a large number but hopefully we can work together make it through these cold months. One week hence we shall have a feast in memory of our fallen homes, and in honor of the valiant dead. Let us all work together to gather food and prepare for this celebration.

"We are all children of Illuvatar. Be you Sindar, Noldo, Silvan, or of the race of Men. You know that I am not of the elder children but I have lived in Doriath as a child in the halls of Elu Thingol. For many years I have dwelt in the halls of Turgon, there I earned his respect. I have lived my life among you and have fought as one of you, bled as one of you. I ask you now to put aside any ill feelings and stand together.

"If we do not stand together now we will be picked to pieces one by one and destroyed utterly. We are safe here for a time, the spirit of Lord Ulmo flows in these waters. Let us begin our time working together by preparing for this celebration." Lord Tuor paused. Had he been running for prime minister he would have had my vote there and then.

"Some of you are aware there is another moral among us. Her name is Eruanna-Mernaseldё. She has traveled far to reach Beleriand and her travels have not been to reach a place where she is in less danger. Indeed she is not more at risk then before. I tell you this, if Eruanna tells you something, especially if it is a warning, you would do best to heed her words and ask no questions. She sees and knows things that are hidden from us. I ask you to accept her and to help her as she has been of great service to me and to the Lothlim." I could feel my face going crimson and tears welled in my eyes at his vote of confidence.

The next afternoon I sat by the fire pit near the shelter I shared with Mirwen, Laiqualassё, Curoneth, and little Lailitha. I had lent a needle and been given some thread by Mirwen and was working at mending and patching my sweater and leggings. The thread was thin twinned wool and was very different from the synthetic and cotton threads that I had used for the little sewing I had done previously. I had to take great care in my stitching and thus the task was taking hours. I did not want to waste any of the thread as I doubted that there was a great deal of it in the camp

Curoneth was sitting across the circle on the other side of the fire pit from me. She was crushing grain into flower with a mortar and pestle, a long and tedious chore. Curoneth, I had learnt was one of the bakers of the camp. We did not speak to one in other as we were each absorbed in our own tasks. I knew Curoneth did not trust me completely; however there was a connection that formed between us was we sat working. We were both doing tasks that were ages old, and for all we were as different as two people could be this one similarity caused us to see each other in a new light. We were both female and so far from our own people. In that one afternoon the first seeds of friendship began to take root.

I was half way through patching my sweater when Laiqualassё returned to our fire. He had been in meetings since early that morning with Lord Tuor and other. He had taken responsibility for the scouts and guards that had been set about the camp in the willow meads. The meeting this morning had been to work out the intricacies of the up coming celebration, and as they wished that all participate and have a chance to relax it was necessary to maintain a guard. Thus, Laiqualassё had been working with the others to develop a rotation schedule such that all could have a chance to take part in at least some element of the celebration.

"Tuor has asked me if I would write a ballad for Glorfindel," said Laiqualassё as he took a seat next to me.

I looked up at him. "I did not know that you were musically inclined," I said. I was a bit of musician myself and at the very least thoroughly enjoyed good music.

"It was one of my areas of study while I dwelt in Tirion. It was never my favorite area of study, I always felt rather overshadowed, by Maglor. None ever really took note my work and when they did it was ever compared to his. I hated being compared to another. Criticism I could deal with it helps one improve but negative comparisons only made me feel as though I were less. I am a fair hand at composition however, and it was always my favorite things to do with music," said Laiqualassё.

I looked back down and continued my sewing. "Never thing less of yourself because people do not notice you, some of the singers of my time with the most beautiful voices I have ever heard were little known. Lord Tuor would not have asked this of you had he not believed that you would do Lord Glorfindel honour in song," I said. Many of my favorite musicians and singers from my own time were known little outside of the folk music circles.

"Thank you Eruanna," he said. "I hope I can live up to his faith and yours. Glorfindel was my cousin; we were very close when we were young, in Tirion. He would drag me from the library and teach me sword play and archery. I thanked him often for that after leaving Tirion." Laiqualassё looked far off, I was sure memories of those days of lost play, when all was a game were flickering before his eyes. "I would ask you to sing this ballad with me, Eruanna."

"I don't have an elven voice, my Teacher. I am a fair singer for my own people, though few have heard me sing, but I could do no justice to any song that you might write." I replied. I had song in choirs for years but I had never had the courage to get up and sing anything alone or with only one other person. I would often sing to myself not caring if other's were listening but performing is another thing entirely.

"Never think less of yourself, especially when none have yet judged you. I have heard you sing and your voice is enchanting. Although it possesses a quality unlike those of my people, it does not make it any less beautiful. You are able to convey deep sorrow through your music unlike any I have ever heard," replied Laiqualassё throwing my own words back at me.

I laughed quietly. "Then what can I say, Teacher? I will sing your song. I will sing it for the one who gave me a chance to live. However, you must sing as well for I have never performed solo before." I looked up from my sewing once more letting the needle rest in the fabric.

The week of preparation for the feast past rather quickly for me. I continued to help Tinniel with the preparation of meals. I found that I enjoyed the companionship that developed when you are working at the same task with others. Slowly those who had been wary of me at first began to see that I was truly no different then them. Although Lord Gilmir continued to speak against me the words of Lord Tuor and my own actions caused most of the elves to discount his words.

Curoneth began to open up to me one day when I was washing some clothing at the hot spring. I asked her of Ossiriand and what it was like to dwell in the land of the seven rivers. She was at first hesitant but by the time we returned to our shelter with our clean laundry we were speaking with each other easily. Curoneth spoke of the love of the Laiquendi for all that lived and of the calm beauty of the elm woods. In becoming friends with this gentle elleth I also got to know little Litha. Litha was enchanting in her own way; she was pure and mostly unaffected by her troubled world. I loved to watch her carefree play, for in her I saw what all the fighting was for, what all the suffering was meant to save.

It seemed that every elf dwelling with in the glade had taken Lord Tuor's words to heart. Everyone worked together setting aside all ill will that may have dwelt between any two beings. Laiqualassё was often busy during the week of preparations whether he was away with his duties as head of the guards and scouts or in meetings with Lord Tuor and others. However, in the evenings he would sit with me and we would work on the Lament of Glorfindel. It began to take form slowly, as Laiqualassё had not composed such a piece in a long time. For me it was a difficult task. I was used to learning new songs by reading written music yet I was not familiar with the elven mode of writing music and thus Laiqualassё had the arduous task of teaching me the lay by ear.

Each verse he composed he would sing to me over and over until I could sing it on my own with out slipping out of key. It was two days before the feast that the lay was finally completed and that Laiqualassё and I sang through it from beginning to end with out error. We often worked away form the camp so that the song would be a surprise for all. I felt horribly uncomfortable with the idea of singing in front of these elves, who were used to such singers as Maglor and Daeron. I felt my voice was rough and grating compared to those of the elves. My hesitance and nervousness showed through the song. I was not singing out in full voice and Laiqualassё knew this.

"Why do you sing thus, little one?" he asked looking down at me with a quizzical look in his grey eyes. "Why do you fell that you are less then us, little one, when you are not?"

I looked up at him feeling my cheeks redden, I felt as though he could read my mind. My mind was fumbling for words. "I am young Laiqualassё, and I am neither very wise nor, knowledgeable nor beautiful. Now, I find myself surrounded by those who are wise, knowledgeable and more beautiful then anything I could have ever imagined. I do feel that I am less then you. I am not like Lord Tuor, worthy of respect and in possession of great nobility of spirit. I am just a girl, misplaced in time and space." I bit my lip to keep from crying. I had come to care deeply for all those I shared my life with but this did not stop the feeling of inferiority. I didn't look up but I could feel his gaze on the top of my head.

He placed a long figure under my chin forcing me to look into his eyes. They were glimmering in the faint evening light. His face showed a look of confused concern. I wanted to look away, to run as far away as I could yet another part of me seemed content to just stay looking into those eyes forever. I shoved that second voice deep into a corner of my mind and looked the door behind it. Such thoughts were dangerous and unwanted.

"You truly believe what you have said?" he asked, never letting go of my face so that I could not look away. I could feel a lump forming in my throat. I couldn't find my voice at first; I was too chocked up to speak.

"Yes," I whispered finally. I closed my eyes as a tear slipped down my cheek. I did not want to see pity in those grey eyes. I felt him brush the tear away with his thumb. He let go of my face pulling me into his arms. He smoothed my hair over my head, soothing me as if I were a child. I had never been one to break down easily yet for the second time in less then a week I found myself sitting in my teacher's lap crying into his tunic. Once my tears subsided I felt terribly embraced. "I'm sorry," I murmured. I knew that I should get up but that little voice whom I had earlier locked away had escaped it prison and I laid my cheek on his shoulder.

He held me and stroked my hair. For a long while we sat in silence. I could not guess what he was thinking but I found that I enjoyed simply being held. I enjoyed having someone comfort me. "Eruanna, have you been listening to what Gilmir has been saying of you?" Laiqualassё finally asked breaking the silence.

I pulled out of his grasp and walked to a tree not far from where we had been sitting. I tried to gather my thoughts and express how I felt in words. Slowly I turned towards him. "How can I avoid at least partially listening to someone who continuously slanders me? I know that what he says of me is not true, but it still makes me doubt myself. Maybe he is right; maybe I do put the company at risk. I can not move noiselessly and my tracks can be seen in the snow. If the enemy finds us by tracking me, I do not think I could ever live with guilt. I couldn't live with myself if I caused the death of any here. Also, nothing can be changed Laiqualassё, and what I know could change everything! If I fell into the hands of the enemy, I could reveal things of the future that would make you wish that you had slit my throat that first night."

He stood slowly deep furrows lining his brow as he thought. I watched him silently; it seemed to me that he battled with himself in his mind. "I could never slit your throat Eruanna," he said. Laiqualassё's eyes met mine with a burning intensity that made me sallow hard. That was the last that either of us spoke that night. In unspoken agreement we made our way back through the trees to the camp. I was confused trying to work out the tangled web of emotions that I felt.

Author's Note: Well its taken me a while to get this done. Originally it was going to be half of a chapter but I decided that I would be much to long and cut it in two. Thus you have a chapter now and one later. Hope you enjoyed this one.

Rant: Why does everyone call the Blessed Realm the Grey Havens? The Grey Haven is the harbour of Mithlond where dwells Cirdan and from which the grey ships set sail for Aman.

Rant 2: Its Rohirrim NOT Rohans! I was watching some of the extra material on the Two Towers Extended Edition and the only person who I can think of not making this mistake was P.J!


	9. A Moment's Peace Part 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm not sure who wrote the song Un Canadien Errant, but it was not me. There is a recording of it done by Ian and Sylvia Tyson however.

Author's Note: Well I'm back. My holidays were hectic and not very restful but oh well. Hope you enjoy the chapter next one will be up soon. Yuhi, I'll send you this asap.

A Moment's Peace II

The day of the feast dawned bright and clear. That morning spring could be smelt in the air. The smell of fresh earth thawing with the warming of the world, could be smelt everywhere. All knew that winter's grip on the land was leaving, and that soon new green life would be seen everywhere. I helped in Tinniel's domain most of the day, cutting roots and winter apples, turning spits and stirring soup. Finally, we were relieved from our duties and went to get cleaned up. I had taken to wearing my leggings and sweater, keeping the tunic Mirwen had given me clean for the feast. I bathed and dressed, before Mirwen came and found me. 

Mirwen helped me brush and braid my hair, and I returned the favor. As we headed back towards the clearing in front of the hall that no longer held any injured but had been converted back into a dining hall my nerves began to act up. I could hardly eat any of the food that I had helped prepare; all I could do was wait in nervous anticipation when I would be asked to sing.

I do not recall where the harp that Laiqualasse¸ played that night had come from but the strains echoed sweet and sad over the congregated populous. Although my nerves had been eating at me through the whole meal they disappeared the moment I sang my first note and heard his lilting harmonies as he sang with me. His voice urged me to keep singing as I stood behind him.

Chorus after chorus and verse by verse we sang of the glory and bravery of the Lord of the House of the Golden Flower. We sang of his triumph and of his fall, and we sang of our hopes that he was now at peace in the Halls of Mandos. Through out the ballad the crowd remained silent as the listened. The moment the last note died there was silence in the glade, and my nerves returned hitting me full force in the stomach.

Gilmer stood from where he had been sitting a light that I could not identify shone in his eyes. "I honour Lord Laiqualasse and the Maiden Eruanna for such a beautiful eulogy." I let out a breath as her crowd echoed his sentiment. However, it seemed that these were not the only words that Gilmir had to speak. "I was hoping that the Maiden Eruanna might grace us with another song. Perhaps, one in her own tongue of her own land."

I couldn't help but feel that Gilmir was calling me out, challenging me to sing a song that would show me to be different than those around me. If I declined I would be called a coward, but in truth, although I was nervous my hesitance was more because an utter lose as to what to sing. What language would I use? It was in that moment that I realized that I wasn't even sure what language I could call my own. I could not remember learning to speak French although my parents told me English was the first language I spoke I basically learnt them simultaneously. I loved Gaelic best of all the languages learnt in my own world however the ancient Celtic language was not the best try and give an impression of my own country. Then it hit me, the perfect song to sing.

I smiled at Gilmir. "I would be glad to sing you a song of my own country, my Lord Gilmir." I looked over the crowd and took a deep breath.

Une Canadienne Errant  
Banni de ses foyers,  
Une Canadienne Errant,  
Bannie de ses foyers,  
Parcourait en pleurant  
Des pays etrangers.  
Parcourait en pleurant  
Des pays etrangers. 

Un jour, triste et pensif,  
Assis au bord des flots,  
Un jour triste et pensif,  
Assis au bord des flots,  
Au courant fugitif  
Elle adressa ces mots:  
Au courant fugitif  
Elle adressa ces mots:

"Si tu vois mon pays,  
Mon pays malheureux,  
Si tu vois mon pays,  
Mon pays malheureux,  
Va dire a mes amis  
Que je me souviens d'eux.  
Va dire a mes amis   
Que je me souviens d'eux.

O jours si pleins d'appas,   
Vous etes disparus...  
O jours si pleins d'appas  
Vous etes disparus…  
Et ma patrie, helas!  
Je ne la verrai plus.   
Et ma patrie, helas!  
Je ne la verrai plus.

As I finished the song I felt like crying. Before my eyes as I sang I saw the forests and hills. The beautiful blue lakes with the summer sun glinting off their water. I saw the world covered in a thick blanket of snow, and heard the hiss of skies as they moved through it. I saw tower hill in St. John's Newfoundland and the beauty of the British-Columbian red pine forests. I saw the CN Tower and Parliament Hill, as sharply as I had when I had first seen them. And my native land that I will never see again. A huge wave of home sickness swept over me. I bowed to those assembled and move away from the crowed.

Just outside the light of the torches that illuminated the clearing stood Curroneth. "Eruanna," she said quietly. "You sang well. That song was so full of longing. Though I understood not the words their meaning was as clear as day to me, for I too have left the land of my birth and have no hope of seeing it again. I miss Ossiriand terribly, just as I know that you must miss your own country. You must remember that although you are far from your home there are those here who care for you," she smiled at me sadly.

"Thank you, Curoneth, for saying exactly what I needed to hear," I replied. To my shock she took me in her arms and hugged me. I returned her hug knowing that this was her way of saying that any distrust that she may have felt about me was in the past. 

"Come the dancing is about to start," she said taking my hand.

"I do not know your dances," I replied. Although I had done highland for years when I had been a child I did not think that it would be flings and sword dances that they were dancing here. 

"Don't worry I'm sure we can find someone to teach you a dance or two tonight," she replied tugging on my hand. I relented and let myself be pulled back into the circle of light. I did learn a few dances that night. Idril herself came over and helped Curoneth teach me one, and then Laiqualasse¸ came and swept me away laughing as I tried to follow his steps. I had a great deal of fun. Laughing and spinning and twirling and trying to follow the steps of the nimble footed elves to varying degrees of success.

It was nearly dawn when I returned to the sleeping shelter to catch a few hours of rest. Many were still dancing and singing by the dinning hall, however I was worn and tired and wished to sleep. I entered the shelter as quietly as possible as I knew that Lailitha was sleeping on her pallet on the other side of the shelter. Just as I reached me pallet I saw that Mirwen was sitting on it. She looked up at me and stood.

"Could I speak with you Eruanna?" she asked in a whisper. I nodded and we left the shelter so not to wake the sleeping child.

Once we were a distance from the camp we sat down and Mirwen looked at me with a serious expression on her face. "Eruanna, are you in love with my brother?" she asked her grey eyes so like her brother's boring into me.

I looked away; I couldn't maintain eye contact with her. I nodded my head before dropping it into my hands as tears began to run down my face. All of the exhilaration I had felt while dancing was replaced by utter despair. "I…I…" I wanted so badly to say I didn't, for until that moment I did not believe that I did love him. He was my friend and my teacher, but then I remembered how it felt when he held me, the comfort found simply by being in his arms. I remembered how he could make me laugh even when I was at my lowest. "I do," I whispered in defeat.

"You realize that you are mortal and he is not, that you will die and he will continue on?" she asked.

"Yes. I know that any marriage between the two kindred's is a tragic thing for all good that may come of it, I know this better then I think you would believe. I know nothing will ever come of this. Mir, I don't want to ever cause him hurt, ever. Besides I'm little more then a child to him, he will never see me in any way other then as his pupil," I replied.

"But he does, Eruanna. I know him better then all, and I see the way he looks at you. You are a puzzle to him one he wishes to solve. Never have I seen him pay so much attention to any female. He only ever acted this way about his projects when he was back in Tirion," Mirwen said taking my hand in hers.

"What do I do?" I said in a whisper. "I have to stay away from him. Mir, I can't let him close." I bit my lip wanting to let out a desperate cry. Why was life so unfair?

Mirwen came and put her arm around my shoulders. "Eruanna, there is nothing I can do if he chooses you. I know that one day you will die and I'm going to loose a friend I just don't want to loose a brother too." I understood how she felt, I knew I would feel the same if our positions were reversed.

_English translation of French song used in this chapter._

A wandering Canadian,  
Banned from her hearths,  
A wandering Canadian,  
Banned from her hearths,  
Running with crying,  
In foreign lands,  
Running while crying,  
In foreign lands.

One sad and pensive day,  
Sitting by the flowing waters,  
One sad and pensive day,  
Sitting by the flowing waters,  
To the fleeing current,  
She addressed these words:  
To the fleeing current,  
She addressed these words:

"If you see my country,  
My unhappy land.  
If you see my country,  
My unhappy land,  
Got tell my friends,  
That I remember them.  
Go tell my friends,  
That I remember them."

O days so full of charms,  
You have vanished…  
O days so full of charms,  
You have vanished…  
And my native land, alas!  
I will see it no more.  
And my native land, alas!  
I will see it no more  



	10. Battle of NanTathen

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Battle of Nan-Tathen

A week had passed since my conversation with Mirwen the night of the festival. The next day I had successful avoided Laiqualassё, always turning and leaving the area if I saw him. I missed him horribly, as he had been such an integral part of my life for the last eight months, however I thought I knew what I was doing, what was best for both of us. That night I was sitting at the fire when he came over to sit next to me. He tried to start a conversation but I made an excuse about needing to use the privy and left the fire. He looked at me with a bemused almost hurt expression on his face as I moved away towards where the privy trenches had been dug. I knew that he didn't believe me but I knew if I didn't keep my resolve now I would never be able to.

The next morning I awoke and went to the cooking area as I always did; Mirwen was already there stirring a large pot of gruel. Through that day I did not see Laiqualassё once, it was not a large camp and the cooking area was not far from the center of it. That night I asked Mirwen where he was and she told me he had gone out on guard duty for the next week. It hit me in the stomach, he was out there possibly in danger and I had not said good-bye to him.

It had been six days since he had left the vale. Six days had past since I had abandoned him at the fire, ignoring him when he spoke to me. I couldn't shake the look he had had on his face that night from my mind. Whenever I closed my eyes it was there haunting me, haunting both my dreams as my waking hours allowing me no peace even in sleep.

It was that night that I was speaking to Curoneth in front of the dinning hall that our short time of peace and rest in Nan-Tathen came to a crashing end. All the scouts and guards who had been stationed around the camp came pouring back in, with fear etched into their features. It was not long before almost everyone was gathered outside the dinning hall to hear what had transpired. Tuor stood where he had when he had made his inspiring speech two weeks before. His announcement now shocked everyone, orcs not an hour from the camp.

About a half hour after Laiqualassё and the scoots came running into the camp we began to leave. All those who were not battle trained to any degree, had collected all the supplies they could quickly gather and begun the march to the Haven's of Sirion at Arvernien. Those who had some battle training were split into two groups. Those who were not so skilled and had little experience were made into a smaller vanguard who were to precede the refugees incase of any attack from the front and the rest would be a rear guard, who would take on the attack coming from behind. If all went well the refugees would never come under the swords.

Laiqualassё met Mirwen and I at the shelter we shared. Curoneth and Ionvain were already there, gathering things and getting ready to leave. Ionvain would be staying with the rear guard while Curoneth was getting herself and Lailitha to travel with the rest of the refugees.

"Both of you are in the vanguard, with those heading south. Neither of you has much training compared to most but at this time everyone who has had a day's lessons in knife work is needed," said Laiqualassё.

Mirwen nodded, "Where will you be brother?" she asked, expressing my own question. I said nothing not wanting to show my true feelings to show through my words.

"I will be staying with the rear guard. I love you Mirwen, my twin, I hope you find happiness in this world." Laiqualassё kissed his sister's cheek.

"May the Valar protect you Laiqualassё," said Mirwen. As Mirwen and I moved past him into the shelter he caught my arm.

"I know not why you wish to avoid me Eruanna, however, I will speak to you none the less. I am proud of you, these are not your people nor is this your time. You do not belong here yet you work to help and protect these people. That is true valor Eruanna, go with the good grace of the Valar. I pray we meet again," he said letting my arm go. I fled not trusting myself to speak.

It was amazing how quickly we began to move away from the camp, however we had not gone far, when the rearguard came under attack. We continued on separating ourselves from our rearguard leaving them behind. Woman comforted each other and children clutched their parents' hands.

A quarter an hour from when we were separated from our rear guard, a distraught Curoneth ran up to Mirwen and I. "Eruanna, Mirwen, I can not find Lailitha. I have not seen her since we left camp. I left her with Ionvain right before we left camp because I had to return to the shelter to find one of Lailitha's tunics that I had forgotten. I assumed that she was with the group but I cannot find her. I have to go back," she said in a voice filled with fear as well as courage drawn the fierce need of a mother to protect her children.

"No, Curoneth," I said firmly. "You have no training in weapons. I will go, stay here with Mirwen." I said.

Mirwen grabbed my arm as I made to move away from the group. "Eruanna, no. Let one of the others go. Someone who has more experience then you," said Mirwen desperately. "You haven't been trained a year yet, there are many here who have been fighting for centuries." Mirwen and I both knew that if Lailitha was really back in the battle that was being fought behind us, there was little hope she could be found alive.

"Mir, if I die it is not important because I'm not supposed to be here. I will not let any of you die if I can help it," I said. My determination must have been obvious because Mirwen nodded her head and let go. I nodded to Mirwen and took off back through the woods. I moved towards the battle.

I hid behind a tree and watched the fierce fight that lay before me. Elves I had known and had grown to care greatly for were dieing. I saw Ionvain take down an orc and I saw a small figure with light hair streaked out of the woods towards him. Lailitha tripped and sprawled to the ground. The distance wasn't great and I was her only hope, as feeble a hope as it was. I left my hiding spot and ran towards the little elleth, I knew that my savior this day would be in speed not in my less then average fighting abilities.

I took my dagger from its sheath and used it to fend of the orcs that were trying to take me down. By some miracle I managed to get through, however I was not the only one who had noticed the child, before I could get to her an orc stood over her its cruel sword raised. I could not bare the thought of this child dieing. In a burst of speed I reached them. I struck out severing the orc's spinal column at the base of its scull with all strength that I did not know I processed.

Lifting Lailitha into my arms I held her on my hip with one arm, well keeping my dagger arm free. I knew that I had to get out of there and began to run again, this time the run was harder as I was hampered by Lailitha. The child threw her arms around my neck and hid her face in my shoulder hiding from the horrors around her that she should never have had to see.

Just as I got to the edge of the clearing in which the battle was taking place, I felt a hot pain sear across my arm as an arrow just missed me. My dagger fell from my hand and I screamed. There are times in a person's life where instincts take over, and this was the first time in mine that this happened. I knew that I could not panic so quickly calming myself I turned to pick up my dagger.

I turned just in time to see Curoneth running towards the battle, screaming for Lailitha and Ionvain. I watched in horror as an arrow struck her square in the chest. I knew there was nothing I could do so, clasping Lailitha close and holding my dagger in my hand I ran. My dagger hand could hardly hold the hilt but I did not wish to loose the blade that Laiqualassё had given me.

When we were far enough from the battle that I felt we were not in danger, I placed Lailitha on her feet and tore the sleeve from my injured arm clumsily. I began an attempt to use the material to bandage the arm.

"Lailitha, I need your help to tie this," I said when I had gotten the cloth wrapped around my arm. She nodded gravely much like Ёarendil.

"Where is Nana and Ada, 'Anna?" She asked. I looked at the child and felt a pang in my heart.

"They are in the battle fighting Litha," I replied.

"Will they come back when all the orcs are gone?" she asked.

"I don't know Litha," I replied. My mother had told me never lie to a child it only makes it worse when they discover the truth. I had to have Litha's trust for it was possible that she would not see her parents again. I felt it was partly my fault that Curoneth was dead and I swore that I would care for this sweet child. I knew that I shouldn't in case I ended up leaving this time causing her to loose another person that she loved yet I knew to make up for not protecting Curoneth I had to. "Come we need to go, and catch up with the others. We have to run, do you think you can run for me or do you want me to carry you?" I asked. My arm still pained me and I knew that blood was seeping through the bandage but there was nothing I could do. Getting back to the refugees was for both Lailitha and I the best thing we could do.

"I can run," she said with the same stoic maturity I had seen so many times in Earendil. I looked at the child and understood what had given Earendil that demeanor. He had seen more death then any child ever should see death of those he loved, those who should never have died. Unlike humans for whom death is a natural process for the elder kindred it was wholly unnatural and a great tragedy.

"Thank you for being so brave Litha," I said. I took her small hand in mine and hand in hand we ran. With in an hour we had caught up with the other refugees. After leaving Lailitha with Idril and Earendil and getting the cut on my arm re-bandaged, I went to speak with Mirwen and rejoin the vanguard.

I fell in beside Mirwen prying that there would be no more running that day. I had never liked running but since coming to Middle Earth I found that when needed I could run better then I thought I could. Mirwen looked down at me in surprise. "Where is Lailitha?" she asked as I caught my breath.

"She is fine; I left her back with the main group. She is probably scared out of her wits but physically she is fine. Curoneth however is a different story." I looked at Mirwen with a lump forming in my throat. "I saw her take an arrow through the chest Mirwen, I don't think she survived. Why did she follow me? Why was she allowed to leave you sight?" The last two sentences I said with anger and frustration at what I saw as a useless loss of life. I did not blame Mirwen but once I had spoken I knew that is how my words would be construed.

Mirwen closed her eyes and murmured an elven prayer. "I turned my back on her for but a second, Eruanna. That is all and then she was gone. No one could find her after that and we couldn't stop, you know that," Mirwen explained. "You are right it is my fault." She bowed her head.

"I did not mean it that way Mirwen," I said trying to alleviate the guilt that she felt, for the same guilt griped my own heart.

A dark haired ellon walking not far from us turned to us. "It is not your fault, my Lady. None can keep a mother from her child if that child is in danger. I saw the elleth leave and thought nothing of it. So if blame must be laid in this it must also be laid upon me." He placed a gentle hand on Mirwen's arm.

"Thank you, my Lord," said Mirwen looking up at him her eyes glistening with tears. It seemed to me that his words made sense. No one person could take the blame for this tragedy. Curoneth had been asked to remain and had she followed that request she would not have been hurt. It seemed that Mirwen also took comfort from his words and let herself acknowledge that her guilt was not founded. "What is your name, I do not think that we have been introduced," she asked.

"Thranduil, Oropher's son of Doriath," he replied. "May I enquire as to your names my ladies?" he asked in return, however his eyes did not leave Mirwen.

"I am Eruanna-Mernaseldё, Lord Thranduil." I replied. Thranduil, I thought, the name was familiar to me. I knew I should know it but I could not place it. Something came to mind about forest(s?) but that is all I could recall. This was the first time that I really noticed that my memories were fading; I knew that there was something important about this ellon that I could remember but I did not. It wasn't until Thranduil was crowned King of Erin Lasgalen that I knew what it was I had forgotten.

"I am Mirwen of Nargothrond," Mirwen said looking up into Thranduil's eyes.

She turned back to me. "Eruanna, what happened to your arm?" she asked indicating the bandage around my upper arm.

"I got nicked by an arrow, that's all." I replied. I brushed off her concern knowing that there were those back at the battle in much worse shape them me.

"You can't, fight with that Eruanna, you would be better off back with the others," she said. I knew her words to be true although I didn't particularly want to admit it. I retreated back to the main group to find Idril and the elflings. Earendil seemed glad to see me. We had spent little time together over the few weeks we had spent in Nan-Tathen as I had been busy helping around the camp. He introduced me to Andil and Belegir two young Sindar whom he had met and become friends with during our stay in Nan-Tathen. Litha walked with them in silence. Her blue eyes haunted with what she had seen, she didn't speak. When she saw me approach she immediately came to me taking my hand in hers. I took it and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

At sun down that day one of the rearguard came running up to Idril. He was uninjured but was still covered in battle grime. I was carrying a tired Lailitha walking with Idril at the time. The poor child was exhausted and still very shaken from her experience. "My Lady," said the scout bowing quickly to Idril. "We have overcome the orcs and Lord Tuor sends me to tell you that he is well. He asks that you find shelter and await the remainder of the rearguard there." The scout bowed again and awaited Idril's reply.

"We will do so," said Idril. So, a number of scouts from the vanguard were sent to find a suitable location, while the scout waited with us. Not long after, one of the vanguard scouts came to tell us he had found a suitable cave not far ahead. After telling the other scout its location the rearguard scout left to return to the rearguard with a few elves that had some skill as healers.

Author's Note: First I would like to thank everyone for the amazing reviews that I have received keep them coming. Secondly, I apologize profusely for the long delay in the posting of this chapter. I had some rather large issues with it that I found I had to work out before I felt comfortable posting. Thirdly; the next section in this story is in rather rough shape because there were some little additions to the plot that weren't there when I first wrote the next chapter, namely Lailitha. I have to work her into it before it can be posted. Last but not least, I thought this semester was going to be the easier of the two but I now find that I was horribly wrong. I will work as quickly as I can but school unfortunately has to come first.

Lots of love Elariel


	11. Lailitha

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Lailitha**

I have little memory from the time we reached the cave where we were to await the rear guard and the beginning of the march onwards to the havens at Avernien. It was due to sheer lack of attention on part. I have been so focused on helping get the others to safety and caring for the much shaken Lailitha, that I gave little to no thought for my own well being.

The arrow wound on my shoulder was quite shallow and little muscular damage had been done. After the initial few minutes it had bled little. Thus, it never crossed my mind to get any attention for it other then having it bandaged. I had simply berated my own weakness as the pain intensified during the march to the cave. I focused on helping those around me and ignored my own pain.

Of what occurred after entering the large cavernous shelter is only a foggy memory. I remember the pain most clearly but little else. My head was pounding and a burning pain lanced sharply through my sword arm whenever I made any attempt to move it. I have a blurry recollection of sitting on a dirt floor with my back against the stone wall of the cave. Lailitha was looking at me with scared eyes so filled already with pain. Mirwen was speaking to me making enquiries; I have no recollection of the actual questions.

I soon lost my tenuous grip on reality, falling into an unconscious delirium. For an indiscernible length of time that may have been a moment but could also have been a life age. I floated in a voiced where little of the world reached me in that dark oblivion. On a rare occasion I could here voices but who they belonged to and what they said I was not able to discern.

The one constant in that void was pain. I was not able to feel its origin; all I knew was that I hurt terribly. I had no memories of my life past or present in that blackness. I was neither Anne-Marie nor Eruanna-Mernaselde; I simply existed floating with only pain as company.

When I began to wake, the first sign was the slowly diminishing of the pain. When I was finally able to open my eyes, the pain was only a dull ache in my shoulder. I could not remember how I had come to be hurt or where I was. My last clear memory was of leaving Nan-Tathen. I felt incredibly thirsty and was sure that I would die of dehydration if I did not get something to drink soon.

I let out a frustrated moan as I tried to bring my world into focus and form the words that my mind wished to speak. Suddenly, I felt someone press a water skin to my lips and murmuring soft words of comfort to me. They laid a gentle hand on my brow smoothing my knotted hair from my face as they patiently dribbled a small amount of water into my mouth, allowing me time to swallow. Once I felt my thirst ebb away I turned my face away frustrated that words still evaded me.

As I was no longer thirsty I felt a great weariness fall upon my mind. My body was begging for sleep however, I had no wish to fall into another oblivion. I did not wish to loose my state of semi-awareness and loose a grasp on my surroundings once again. I wish to know how I had come to be there and where I was. The hand that had been smoothing my hair caressed my cheek gently and I felt the person kiss my forehead.

I let my semi seeing eyes flutter closed as I heard a soft song of well being and peaceful rest drift over me and echo in my mind. A song sung in a deep mellow beautiful voice that seemed to sooth my soul and left me feeling content. My mind calmed and I fell asleep with the thought that I should know this voice.

When I awoke again it was to full clear consciousness. I knew where I was and how I had come to be there. I remembered how I had sustained the injury to my shoulder, but I did not understand why I had fallen unconscious. The wound had not bee sever and it had not had enough time to fester so I was at a loss as to the cause of my infirmity.

I looked to the side of my bed to find the small form of Lailitha curled up next to the palate on which I was laying. Her head was resting on the edge of the grey blanket that had been tucked carefully around me. Her silver hair was spread on the blanket and falling around her small shoulders. I tried to sit only to find that the effort made me feel ill and weak. I opted to lie there. I reached out with my hand to brush Lailitha's hair from her face. My heart was troubled for the pain the beautiful child was suffering.

I must have woken her when I moved because before my hand reached her head she lifted it up and looked at me with her solemn blue eyes. Even in the darkness of the cave it was obvious that she had lost the carefree joy for life that had been so apparent when I had first seen her. It broke my heart to see it.

It was another half week before I felt well enough to really move around the cave. I was weak and at first I needed the help of Mirwen to stand and walk as far from the cave as the privy pits. Mirwen explained to me that the arrow that had struck me had been poisoned, and even two weeks later my body was still fighting the poison of the orcs. Mirwen explained further that many of the weapons had been tainted with poison and many of the wounded had succumbed to the same poison, not to their wounds. Although my wound had been minor to the point of being nearly superficial, I had reacted strongly to the deadly poison. Mirwen confided that they had feared that they would loose me altogether.

Lailitha spent much of her time with me and I found it incredibly endearing how she acted in that time as my nursemaid. She made it her business to make sure that I ate and had water and that I slept well. One day when I had just begun to move around I sent the elleth off to play with Earendil and his friends while I went to talk to Lady Idril.

As I walked through the cave I noticed how few ellon there were, this was shocking as the majority of the Lothlim had been made up of ellon. Tears pricked at my eyes as I though of just how many we had lost during our retreat from Nan-Tathen. Neither Tuor nor Laiqualasse were in the cave and I had seen neither since we had left Nan-Tathen. Mirwen had told me her brother had come through the battle uninjured and were often away from the cave with the other guards and scouts, it was Lady Idril who truly was the day to day leader of the refugees in the cave now.

At this point I was feeling pretty much recovered, aside from the occasional dizzy spell and nausea. I had even done some sparing with Mirwen and Earendil working on my left arm work, as my right shoulder wasn't yet fully healed. It seemed that the poison also interfered with the healing of the wound that it entered through.

I found Idril sitting by the cave mouth mending a tunic and speaking to one of the Sindarin elleth. She looked up as she heard me approaching, as the only mortal, save Tuor, in the group it was impossible for me to sneak up on any of the light footed elves. "Eruanna, it is good to see you on your feet," she said greeting me with a strained smile.

"Thank you, my Lady," I replied. When I felt that I was not interrupting anything important I spoke again. "I came to ask about Lailitha," I said. "I know that neither Curoneth nor Ionvain survived the battle, and that she is left alone. I would like to know what her fate will be."

Idril looked strained, none of her beauty had diminished but the tragedy was seen easily in her eyes. "I do not know, she will be cared for and perhaps someone will take her it but nothing is certain."

"Lady Idril, I would like to take responsibility for her." It was something that I had been thinking about for some time, as I lay invalid. "I know that I won't live long after she comes to age and that it will cause her pain in the future but at least she will have some certainty now," I wasn't sure how Lady Idril would take my request but was rewarded with a beautiful smile from the elven princess.

"It is a generous offer Eruanna, one that I know Curoneth would appreciate. I see no fault in this. So from this day forth Lailitha of the Laiquendi will be foster daughter of the Maiden Eruanna." Lady Idril looked down again at the fabric in her lap and sighed. In a whisper that I could barely hear I heard her say: "What fools were we in leaving the blessed realm."

"Thank you, Lady Idril," I murmured softly before turning and taking my leave.

I spent the rest of the day walking by the side of the river Sirion thinking over the events that had come to pass. I thought to the future and realized that I had fully accepted my fate to live and stay in this time. Although the homesickness was still there with this acceptance of the sharp edge was removed and I felt I could truly live. Now with Lailitha I had something to live for, someone to love. I knew that it was only fair to allow the little elleth the choice to accept more or not for in truth I would die and she would have to deal with that. How did one approach such a subject with one so young? I did not know but I knew that I must.

I head laughter behind me and turned to see Lailitha and Earendil as well as some of the other elfling running towards me. It was healing to see that they could still laugh and smile, that all the pain and sorrow hadn't killed their joy completely. They ran to where I stood.

"Eruanna," said Lailitha looking up at me.

"Yes Lailitha," I replied taking in the gaggle of elflings.

"Mirwen said that we should find you if we wanted to do some sparing. She said that she was too busy to practice with us and that you were good enough to teach us some stuff. She also said that we could have fun watch Earendil chase you around." At Lailitha's last comment some of the Sindarin elflings giggled.

Smiling, I agreed to help them although it was truly Earendil taking his natural place as leader who gave most of the instruction. By the end of the session I sat with my back against a stone watching, completely exhausted. Earendil had enjoyed chasing me around before having me flat on my back with the tip of his stick at my throat. I noticed that Lailitha was a rather tentative fighter who like her mother, was too gentle to really give her all on the fear of hurting one of the others.

We all walked back to the cave as the sun began to sink towards the horizon knowing that soon the evening meal would be prepared and if we wished ours to be hot we had to be at the cave. Lailitha stayed with me as I made my way to my pallet. She had lost the smile that had earlier graced her lips and the sad lonely look that I had been seeing often in the past two weeks had replaced it.

"Lailitha," I said getting the elflings attention. "I spoke with Lady Idril today and we decided that if you want it I will take care of you. You will stay with me and I'll make sure you are okay. I don't want you to think that I'm in anyway trying to replace your mother but I know I don't want to be alone and I doubt that you do." I took a deep breath as she looked at me curiously. "You have to decide that this is what you want Lailitha, because I am mortal and one day I will die. You have to decided that you are okay with that."

Lailitha moved beside me and put her arms around my neck. "I think its fine Eruanna. Nana and Ada liked you and they trusted you and I don't want to ever be left alone."

Author's Note: I sit here with a sigh writing this little note, it is twenty minutes to midnight and I'm waiting for my pizza because I'm starving and I don't feel like cooking. I must extended a massive thanks to Last Temptation of Homer and Yuhi who read through these chapters for canonical and grammatical errors respectively. They both got back to me so quickly this time that I was shocked. Next I must thank all of you who have reviewed this story, love those reviews keep them coming.

I apologies for the wait and admit that the next chapter is still in very rough form. Please be pacient the real world seems to be snatching my attention more and more often.

Best Regards

Elariel


	12. Elwing

Elwing

By the time we arrived at the havens of Sirion, I had long since lost track of the number of days I had dwelt in Middle-Earth. I guessed it to be some nine or ten months all told. The sky above us as we walked through the gates at Arvernien was a gloomy grey, reflecting the mood of my company. Litha clung to my hand looking around the havens with wide eyes. She had lived in the woods for the short span of years she had been alive. She had never before entered a city of the Noldor and she looked around her new surroundings with curiosity and wariness. Of the members of the company whom had originally fled from Gondolin just over half remained. We entered the havens and were greeted by the refugees of Doriath who had dwelt there for some years.

I had found in the past year that my memories of my own time had held strong, I could still speak English, French and Gaelic as fluently as the day I had arrived, even though I had not spoken to anyone in any of the three languages. Although all my knowledge and memories of my time stayed firm I found that my knowledge of what I had read in the Silmarillion and in Lord of the Rings had most certainly faded.

It was once I arrived at Sirion that I knew for sure that there was no other way to explain not being able to remember things that I knew I had known only months before. In some ways it was a relief for it is difficult to live with so much knowledge of the future when so many around you are dieing. You do not know what you can change without endangering what must happen. However, the loss of memories without explanation was also very disconcerting.

I do not know what I enjoyed most those first few days in the havens, whether it was a real bath in a bath tub, or clean clothes that actually fit, or a soft bed with a mattress filled with goose down or a warm meal at a real table. However, one thing was known for sure, after a year of travelling and living in the virginal wilderness of Beleriand, I was enjoying the comforts of civilization.

It seemed to be to have been centuries since I had last seen my self in a mirror but there was one in the bathhouse where the women bathed. I stared at myself for a time. My hair was longer then I remembered it being, and its colour was lighter from being bleached in the sunlight. My hair had always lightened when I spent a good deal of time outside in the summer, however this was lighter then I had ever seen it before. I was also a good deal thinner then I had been. Walking for days on end and living on only what could be found in the wilderness, will have that effect on your physique. I had always been curvy and ever worried about my weight, yet now that I saw my body as it had become, I realised my physique was not meant to be stick thin. I looked bony and almost sickly.

Shaking my head, I put on the dress I had been given. It was comfortable although I would trade it for a pair of leggings and a tunic any day. I had always preferred pants and shirts to dresses. Of the clothes that I had been wearing that day in Gondolin only my hiking boots were still fit to be worn. Lailitha had just finished her bath in the tub next to where I stood. I helped her out of the bath and got her dressed in the little dress that had been provided for her.

"Lailitha," I said, catching the little elleth's attention. "Come let's go to the gardens and brush our hair there where it isn't so humid." I took her hand and picked up my pack and left the bathhouse. For a while we wandered until we found a bench placed under an oak tree. I sat down and pulled the comb that Mirwen had given me way back in Nan-Tathan out of my pack. I gently combed out Lailitha's hair until it was straight and untangled. Then I braided the sides back in two small braids to keep it out of her face, then tying them with a bit of twine I gave the child one last inspection. "There," I said satisfied. "You look like a little princess." Lailitha laughed with me. I let her run off and play, telling her not to go to far.

I watched my foster child chasing a butterfly as I ran the ivory comb through my own brown hair. Slowly I worked the knots and tangles out of it, feeling incredibly jealous of Lailitha's straight manageable tresses as I tried to manage my own unruly ones. I was about half way through the frustrating job when I felt someone sit down behind me take the comb out of my hands.

I had become used to not hearing people when they approached me; you have to when you are travelling with so many elves, however I still found it disconcerting. I twisted around and looked up to see who it was and my eyes met Laiqualassё's.

"Let me, Eruanna, it is easier if someone else does this when it has gone so long tangled," he said gently taking the comb from my hand. I just nodded and let him comb the knots out of my long hair. He was so gentle, for all it was a rat's nest he never pulled once. At first I sat stiff backed fighting how comforting it felt to simply be near him again. However, I soon found that it was a tough battle and that I was on the loosing side. Eventually I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being pampered. Even after Laiqualassё finished brushing out my hair he continued running the comb and his figures through my curls. He later told me that he loved the fact that if you stretched the curls out they would bounce back.

"Little one, why were you so distant with me before we left Nan-Tathen? I understand that during the march once you had healed neither of us had much time but you have hardly spoken to me since the feast. Does my company displease you so?" he asked speaking in Quenya. His voice held much confusion as well as some pain.

"It is not that I don't enjoy your company but someone said something to me and I felt it better that I not form such close connection to people here. To save those around me the pain that will ensue if I leave this time for my own again or if not then when I have lived out the short years of my mortal life." I replied in the same language. I had noticed that when Laiqualassё wished to speak of something that affected him emotionally he tended to switch to Quenya. I turned my eyes back to Lailitha; she had caught one of the butterflies and was holding it gently in her hand watching it. It almost seemed as though she were speaking to it. I felt Laiqualassё's fingers on my shoulders kneading out the stress knots that had developed in them.

"Is that not a risk you should let others decide whether they wish to take or not? Is it not unfair for you to make that choice for others?" he asked.

"I know. I realised that when I decided to foster Lailitha. I realised that I can help, and that to do so I had to take emotional risks." I looked over once again at the little elleth, her butterfly had flown away but she had discovered a frog in the grass near the edge of a small pool and was now stalking it. "How could I let such a joy be alone in this world?" I whispered not really speaking to Laiqualassё any more.

He laughed looking over at Lailitha. He pulled me against his chest in a hug. "What you did for her is more then any could have ever asked you to do little one." I did not reply to busy relishing the feeling of being protected. I felt at that moment as if everything was perfect. There were no orcs or dragons, no balrogs or wolves, nor war, no Melko and no nightmares. Nothing could hurt me in that moment, and the world was good. Everything smelt of a mixture of spices and good clean earth.

He let me go and pulled back standing up. "There is a sparing practice planned the main courtyard right after the supper hour. Will you and Lailitha join in with the others?" he asked. "I know that Earendil has missed his daily chance to beat you at sword play." He added with a light laugh.

"Of course I will!" I exclaimed not for a moment wishing to miss the opportunity to learn. "As will Lailitha if that is her choice." I said. I had stayed with her almost every moment since I had told her that I would take care of her. Perhaps I was being overprotective but I still felt slightly guilty for what happened to Curoneth and felt that in protecting her child I was making up for it to her.

Laiqualassё shook his head slightly smiling, bemused at me. "I have already spoken to Mirwen; she will stay with Lailitha if she does not wish to join in. I noticed during our march that she is a gentle soul, much like many of the Laiquendi. She does not like the idea of causing another being pain even if it is simply the pain of knowing that you have lost," he replied. "I have to go and speak to Tuor before supper," he said. "I will see you in the great hall."

After Laiqualassё walked away I sat in silence for a while. While I had been distracted speaking to Laiqualassё another young elleth had joined Lailitha and now they were playing quietly together by the small pond in the garden. Lailitha took the other elleth's hand in hers and hurried over to me.

"Eruanna," she said some excitement clearly evident in her voice. "This is Elwing, she's lived here a while and she said she'll show me some of the other gardens."

"Well met, Elwing," I said smiling in greeting, speaking once again in Sindarin.

"Elwing, this is my foster mother, Eruanna," said Lailitha. I was shocked it was the first time Lailitha had ever called me her foster mother. I was gratified; it showed me that she had accepted me. "Elwing is from Doriath," said Lailitha knowledgably.

I opened my mouth to say that I knew but snapped it shut again. It was obvious that Elwing was older then Lailitha probably of an age with Earendil. Many pieces of knowledge that I had believed lost fell into place when I was introduced to the Princess of Doriath. I remembered what I believed I had forgotten about the fall of Doriath to the Son's of Feanor. It would become a pattern, the knowledge once lost would return to me after something triggered its return. In this case it was seeing Elwing the White, the sole surviving child of Dior Eluchil and Nimloth.

"Elwing asked if I could have supper with her," said Lailitha. If she had been a child in my own time I would have staked my life on the fact that she would have had her fingers crossed behind her back.

"I don't have a problem with that," I replied too glad to see Lailitha laughing again to deny her just about anything. A bright smile lit Lailitha's face and after promising to see me at supper, she and Elwing ran off towards one of the exits from the garden in which we had sat.

I stood slowly picking up my pack and setting off to find Mirwen. My mind skimmed over what had just occurred. Although I had spent almost a year living among the Lothlim I was not very knowledgeable about the rules and customs governing courts, rulers and ranks. I figured Mirwen would know.

I found Mirwen speaking with Lady Idril near the entrance to the great hall. "Eruanna, you and Lailitha will be sharing a set of rooms with Mirwen and Laiqualassё," said Idril when she saw me walk up to them. "Mirwen knows where they are and I must take my leave, much is still to be done," she said. I noticed that Idril had yet to change out of her travel worn clothes and to have had a bath. If only leaders in my own world were as caring and selfless as this beautiful elleth.

"Take care my Lady, we are safe now. If I can help with anything, please let me know," I said placing my hand over heart in the customery salute of respect.

"Actually Eruanna, could Earendil stay with you this evening? There is to be a council and both Tuor and I must be there. Our own rooms have yet to be decided," she said the stress just beginning to show. I remembered feeling once that elves were untouched by such things, that they were not bothered by stress and such emotions. I had long since learnt that although they have more stamina and were better at hiding worry they still felt it.

"I would be pleased to do so, my Lady," I replied. Idril nodded and gave me a wane smile before walking off into the great hall.

"Come Eruanna, let's go put these packs in our rooms," said Mirwen moving off down the hall. "Where is Lailitha?" Mirwen asked looking about as though she expected the elleth to pop out from behind a corner.

"She made a friend in the gardens and they went off to play until supper. I couldn't deny her such a happiness as a new found friend," I said.

"And understandably so," replied Mirwen nodding her head.

I looked up at her. It looked like memories were flickering quickly in front of her eyes. "Mirwen, she made friends with Elwing of Doriath. I was wondering if people will have problems with their friendship," I said expressing the concern I had felt in the garden.

Mirwen was silent for a moment and then after seeming to shake of some ghost of sadness she replied. "It will not be a problem. It wasn't with me and Finduilas." The second sentence was spoken in a voice so low it was near a whisper.

"Finduilas?" I asked. Mirwen had never spoken to me before this moment about why she had gone to Nargothrond and not to Gondolin with her brother.

"We met in one of the gardens of Tirion when we were both still elflings. We were inseparable friends from that day forth. My loyalty to her, like my brother's friendship with Glorfindel, led us to join the revolt, although our parents both refused and remained in Finarfin's court," Mirwen said as she looked away.

"I went with her everywhere. I was at her side through the crossing of the Helcaraxë. We spent some time here in Arvernien ever before Nargothrond was built. We swore we would fight at each others backs if need be, we swore to die to protect one another. Three weeks before Nargothrond fell I had gone to collect healing plants far from the city. It was an expedition that I had made every year. Every other year Finduilas came with me but that year she had her sights set on Turin son of Hurin and decided to remain. It was a month long expedition that I always loved because it allowed time away from the court to commune with nature. As we returned towards Nargothrond it was obvious that something was wrong.

"I won't speak of what we saw from a distance, for we did not dare venture nearer. We knew that it was too late and there was nothing we could do. We were the only survivors of this I knew. We made our way south towards Doriath without any hope that the Sindar would help us. Doriath had fallen to the Feanorians before we ever reached it. We met a group of wandering Sindarin refugees and together we made our way to Nan-Tathen where you found us," she finished her story.

I was near tears at that point but I did not know what to say. We came to a door and Mirwen pushed it open. "No one had a problem with my friendship with Finduilas, nor will anyone have a problem with Lailitha's friendship with Elwing."

"Thank you, Mirwen," I said giving her a hug. We stood in the communal room of the set of rooms that would be my home for longer then I ever believed in that moment.

Author's Note: Well here we are at the end of the twelfth chapter of Stillness. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to have chapter thirteen for you before I leave for my parents place at the end of April. As I said in the now deleted Author's Note I have surgery at the end of April and won't be writing much after that until I'm recovered and my doctor has told me it will take a month, and at the beginning of June I will be in the field for my summer job. I could be anywhere from the high artic in Northern Canada to somewhere in south or central America, thus I can not really guarantee updates in those time periods do to the obvious reasons of being in a bush camp. I hope to do some writing though during the summer so that I can bombard you with new material come September. I appreciate your understanding.

The Following was posted in my deleted Author's note. If you read it there that's great if not it may interest you.

Lembas: The making of the elven bread was a gift given to them by Yavanna. The Noldor brought to Middle-Earth the special grain from which it was made. It was tradition that it was made by the highest lady in an elven settlement. Thus, in the case for the Lothlim it was made by Idril, who would have been the Lady of that city after the passing of Aredhel. This information can be found in the section in the 12th Volume of the HoME books, The Peoples of Middle-Earth.

The Confusion of the Legolas's: In the second book of lost tales there is an elven warrior of the house of the Tree of Gondolin named Legolas. He was said to be keen of sight and was one of the leaders of the Lothlim when they escaped from the city. Also remember Gondolin was the only Noldorin city in Beleriand where pure Valinorin Quenya was spoken. All records of that city were put down in Sindarin thus all the names were Sindarinised. The Quenya form of Legolas is Laiqualassё. Legolas of Mirkwood will play a minor role much later on in this tale, and there is a connection between Legolas of Mirkwood and Laiqualassё of Gondolin, but you will have to guess what it is until I tell you. The little information there is one Legolas of the House of the Tree of Gondolin can be found in the second Volume of the HoME books, The Second book of Lost Tales.

Eruanna's Mortality: Eruanna is human she will continue to be both mortal and human through out this story. There is a chapter that has already been written where the circumstances surrounding Eruanna's arrival and existence in Middle-Earth but unfortunately its not planned for release for another five chapters or so. I'm not going to tell you anymore, just to keep you in suspense.

The Crowning of Thranduil: If I remember what I have read properly Thranduil's father was Oropher and Oropher died in the battle of Dagorlad. If anyone knows for sure if this is incorrect please tell me. Again the process of Thranduil's coming to Mirkwood will be dealt with later in the story but I will say that he will not be crowned King until his father dies.


	13. Laiqualasse's News

The rooms in which I found myself were a collection of three bedchambers all opening of a communal sitting room. They were not overly ornate but they were serviceable and comfortable. Two of the bedchambers were smaller then the third. The third bedchamber contained two beds which had been fitted with clean linens and warm comforters. This room I was to share with Lailitha. Mirwen and Laiqualassë would take the use of the two other bedchambers.

From my pack I took my few possessions and placed them lovingly in the wardrobe and on the shelves of the room. It was not long before a bell rang and Mirwen came into the chamber telling me that the bell announced the beginning of the supper hour. We walked down the hall ways to the great hall on the ground level. I had never eaten in a feasting hall such as this before. Many long tables with benches placed around them filled the halls in neat rows. At the head of the hall a dais rose a foot higher off the floor, and there sat a single table placed at a ninety degree angle to all the other tables. Chairs surrounded this table rather than benches, and they were already filled. Here sat the remaining Lords and Ladies who had escaped the slaughter of Nagothrond, Doriath and Gondolin respectively.

Mirwen drew me over to a table to the side. There sat Lailitha, Earendil and Elwing as well as a number of other young elleth and ellon. They seemed to be chattering happily. I did not pay much attention to what was being said around me that night. It had been so long since I had eaten at a table for a full meal, and never had I eaten in a hall such as this. The closest I had ever come was a class field trip to medieval times, a re-enacting of a jousting tournament that took place in Toronto Ontario as a grade school student. The meal past quickly, I spent most of it listening to the incessant chatter of the elflings.

After dinner Lailitha, Elwing, Earendil, Mirwen and I made our way back to the chambers in which I was staying. Mirwen was speaking to the young ones about the lessons that were to be organised. Most of the elflings that now dwelt in the Havens had not had the opportunities to learn the things their parents had had. As such there had been lessons organised to teach them. I pondered whether they would allow me to join them for some. Now that I was faced with living a semi-static existence, I wished to learn more about the world in which I found myself.

Upon arriving in our rooms I realised that I could not spar in the dress I had been wearing. Informing Mirwen and the elflings that I was going to change and reminding Lailitha that if she intended on joining the sparing that night that she too would need to change into a tunic and some leggings. It felt good to have a moment to myself, some peace in which to allow everything that was spinning around in my mind to settle.

When I emerged from my room back into the sitting room, I was wearing a pair of leggings and a tunic I had been given, along with my dagger belted to my side.? I found the three elflings playing a clapping game that Elwing was teaching them. It was in base principle similar to the clapping games I had played as a child, involving different patterns of clapping set to a rhyme.

Laiqualassë stood with Mirwen by the window as if in conversation, but they did not speak. Mirwen looked upset as if she had been told something that she did not wish to hear. Her face turned stormy and she looked directly into her brother's eyes her lips pursed together.

"If you must, then so be it," said Mirwen as she spun away from him, walking into her own small bedchamber. The solid wooden door closed behind her with a resounding click. Laiqualassë stood looking out the large window over the wall and out to the ocean beyond. His head was slightly bowed and he braced himself against the window frame with one hand.

When he heard me approach he turned and gave me a forlorn look as though he felt that I would soon turn my back and walk away from him as well. "Come Eruanna, will you walk with me for awhile in the gardens before sparing?" He asked.

"Yes." I replied quietly with a nod of my head. "Lailitha, Earendil, Elwing," I said, getting the attention of the elflings. "If you wish to do some sparing tonight you must be in the practice courtyard by the next bell. If you don't wish to come, please feel free to stay here." They acknowledged my words before going back to their game.

Laiqualassë and I walked in companionable silence along the corridors and down the stairs to the gardens. It was not until we were out beneath the clear evening sky that I spoke the query that lay across my mind. "What has upset Mirwen so?" I asked.

"I gave her some news that she did not wish to hear," said Laiqualassë. "I do not believe that you will like it anymore then she did," he continued glancing at me. "Tuor has asked me to go to the Isle of Balar as an ambassador to the court of the High King Gil-Galad. Idril wants to assure her cousin that the Lothlim recognise his right to that title."

I felt numb at his words. I had pushed him away for the past two months and yet when I allowed myself to get close to him he tells me that he will be leaving. I swallowed and looked up at him. "Mirwen did not wish you to leave?" I asked in a manor that was only half a question. I did not want him to leave either, but unlike Mirwen I had no right to ask him to stay.

"She did not," said Laiqualassë looking off to something past my shoulder. "She quite adamantly begged me to stay, asking why someone else could not be sent. Tuor and Idril have both impressed upon me that they feel that there is no one else who would go that they have full trust in. They do not want to send someone like Gilmir who could have their own motives."

"I see that you have no choice and that you must go," I said. "I can not say that I wish to be parted from you, my friend." As I finished speaking the bell rang and I realised that I was late for sparing. What a poor example I made for the elflings whom I had lectured about punctuality not long before! "I must be off to sparing. Are you coming to join us as you said you would this morning?"

"I must return to the council, Eruanna, said Laiqualassë. I will not be at sparing this night." I nodded and we both went our separate ways.

Author's Note:

Surprise! I got this done. I can't guarantee when I'll be done the next chapter, so again I must ask your patience. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Brightest Blessings

Elariel


	14. A Ship Sails

Disclaimer: A reminder…I don't own anything.

A Ship Sails

When I reached the yard for sparing practice about thirty elves and elflings were gathered including Earendil and Elwing. The ellon who seemed to be running the practiced shot me an aggravated look, which I knew that I deserved. He walked towards me and handed me a practice sword consisting of a number of wooden lathes bound together and a hilt made of weaved leather bands.

"Have ever worked with a sword before?" he asked shooting a look at the knife bound at my waist.

"No just with the knife," I replied.

"Then go over there with the other beginners," he said indicating a group on the far side of the yard who were watching a blond ellon demonstrating some basic sword technique. I obediently followed his instructions. For the next two hours the eight of us in the beginners group learnt a basic practice pattern that involved flowing from one position to the next attempting to keep the correct posture and grip on the practice swords.

At the end of the two hours my arms ached from the heavier weapon, for even a wooden sword weighed more the light knife that Laiqualasse had given me. I felt completely incompetent as the Sword Master working with us was ever correcting my stance and grip. He said that my concentration was absolutely horrible and that if I could not remember where to keep my feet for five minutes then I would never survive my first true fight.

The only thing that reconciled me was the fact that learning a new weapon removed the humiliation of being beaten over and over again by Earendil. The youngest of the elflings who were still small had been working with the knives for they did not have practice sword short enough for them, much to Earendil and Elwing's disappointment.

After we put away our practice blades and helped tidy the sparring yard Earendil, Elwing and I went to find Lailitha. The young elleth who had never shown much passion for swords or knives had gone to the archery range, which Elwing had shown her earlier that day. Archery, which did not involve hacking at ones friends in order to practice, was skill to which Lailitha had taken to immediately. Although I was no expert judge of archers it seemed to me from what I saw in Lailitha's execution at the practice range that evening that my foster daughter had some raw talent for the use of the bow. I made a mental note to ask Mirwen about some one to teacher her.

Once Lailitha joined us we made our way back into the fortress. Earendil left us at the council chamber to ask his parents where their apartment was and Lailitha and Elwing ran off to Elwing's rooms. I called after Lailitha reminding her that she should not stay out too late. So I was alone when I arrived back at my own apartment.

Upon entering the sitting room I was surprised to find Thranduil seated with Mirwen before the fire place. They were speaking quietly to one another. Mirwen looked distraught and Thranduil's expression was that of concern. Although the scene was innocent enough I felt that I was intruding on something far more intimate. I had seen Thranduil a few times since meeting him on the flight from Nan-Tathen, however I had not realized that he and Mirwen were such good friends.

Mirwen had heard me enter the room and had turned towards me. When our eyes met I knew that the pain she felt was akin to mine. "He has told you," she said softly. It was clearly a statement and not a question.

"Yes," I replied just as softly. I did not know what else I could say. Where Mirwen could show her dislike of her brother's imminent departure without causing much curiosity amongst those who lived in Arvernien, however, I could not demonstrate my own feelings to their full range for it would definitely spark the interest of others who should not know that my feelings for Laiqualasse extended any further then those of friendship.

"Why does he wish to abandon me? When we were reunited in Nan-Tathen it was like having my other half back but now not even a turn of the seasons has passed and he wished to leave me again," said Mirwen in a rather melodramatic manner.

"Mirwen," I said sitting at the foot of the chair in which she sat. "You know that he does not leave you because he wishes to. He is simply doing what he feels is best for all of us."

"I know Eruanna," Mirwen sighed. "Please forgive me for my dramatics; it is unseeingly of me to speak thus." Her eyes were down cast looking at her slender pale hands, which lay on her lap. Thranduil who had not taken his eyes off Mirwen for a moment took one of her hands in his. She looked into his face and smiled weakly. It was a strained smile but the looked of admiration answered to the look of adoration in Thranduil's. The entire scene melted my heart.

"I understand how you feel Mirwen, there is nothing to apologise for," I said. "I am weary and I think that I will retire to my bed. I feel that things will be clearer in the morning after we all have had some rest." I stood and moved towards the door of my room. Both Mirwen and Thranduil bid me good night and I went into my room closing the door behind me. I was a tumult of emotion feeling at once happy at what seemed to be developing between Thranduil and Mirwen but also heart broken that the one whom I loved would be leaving in the morning. However, more then anything I felt completely exhausted.

That night was the best sleep I could ever remember having. I do not remember waking from the moment my head hit the pillow until I awoke to the morning sunlight filtering through the bedchamber window the next morning. The feather mattress on which I lay felt as comfortable as a cloud and the quilt that I had pulled over me was heavenly with its soft comforting warmth.

Stretching I sat up in the bed taking stock of my surroundings. Lailitha was sitting cross-legged on her bed on the other side of the room. She was running my brush through her hair slowly as though she was deep in thought. "Lailitha," I said causing her to look over at me. "Come here, penneth-in, I will finish that for you."

She climbed down off her bed and came over to mine. I sat behind her with my back against the headboard. Sometimes I forgot about how small she was. Gently, I worked the tangles out of her hair before braiding it back and tying it off with a ribbon. Just as I finished braiding Lailitha's hair the door to our bedroom opened and Mirwen entered quietly.

"Good morning," said Mirwen. "Get dressed quickly Eruanna. The tide is going out and Laiqualassë's ship sails at the next bell."

I rose and nodded to her before going to my closet. I did not feel like speaking much and it seemed that Mirwen shared that feeling. She sat down on my bed and put an arm around Lailitha as much it seemed to comfort herself as to lend any strength to the little elleth. Lailitha feeling Mirwen's sadness returned her embraces and kissed her on the cheek before rising to dress in her own small dress.

After I had dressed the three of us made our way down through the fortress to the small harbour. The ship was not very larger nor did it match the magnificence of the ship of the Teleri that Mirwen had once described to me. The quay was full of activity as last minute preparations were made for the voyage to the Isle of Balar. Both Lord Tuor and

Lady Idril were at the quay and with them stood Earendil and Elwing. Lailitha seeing her two friends left Mirwen and I to go to them.

As we stood back from the crowd so not to be in the way, Laiqualassë was speaking to Lord Tuor. Lord Tuor placed a hand on Laiqualassë's shoulder and handed him a rolled scroll. Laiqualassë bowed his head to the man before him and turned away. He spotted us standing off to the side and came over to us.

He took his sister's hand and looked into her eyes. "Mirwen, know that should you ever wish to come to me that Tuor will arrange your passage on a word," he said. "Promise me, sister, that if at all possible I will be at your wedding."

"I promise you that my brother," said Mirwen.

"Find happiness," said Laiqualassë. "Valar bless."

"Valar bless," Mirwen murmured back kissing her brother's cheek.

With is other hand Laiqualassë took mine and kissed the back of it gently. "One more lesson, penneth-nin. Let go of what was and might have been and live. For although you do not feel it, it is so you have a home here and people who care for your well being and safety."

"Thank you," I said not having any more words in that moment with which to express myself.

"I must now take ship. My thoughts will be with both of you. I will write when I can," said Laiqualassë. With this he squeezed my hand let it go turning to the ship. We both watched in silence as he boarded the vessel. With military precision when the bell rang high in the citadel the ship cast off and began to move away from the quay towards the open water with the help of the long sweeps. Laiqualassë stood at the rail of the vessel his eyes did not leave us. As they moved away once he gave a last wave and went below deck. It was in silence that Mirwen and I walked back up to the fortress.

Author's Note: Well it has been a while. What can I say? I don't have any excuses for myself really. I hope to finish the next chapter soon but I am in a period of utter lack of initiative and a dry spell for inspiration. Hopefully I'll regain a want to write soon. Until then.


	15. Ten Years

**AN:** It has been some time since I last posted a chapter to this tale however I have not given up on it entirely. You will notice that this chapter is simply filler. There were will many such chapters in this story filling in spaces of extend relatively peaceful time where little occurs. Don't run me through the grind stones for them. I hope to have more ambition for writing this semester and not leave you hanging for months.

**Ten Years**

After Laiqualassë's departure a number of years passed by without much of consequence occurring. Arvernien was an island under siege, one of the last places in Beleriand not under the power of Morgoth. Every once in a whole a group of wandering elves who had been hiding in the wilderness as exiles from their kin would find their way to the Haven as did the remnants of the houses of the elf friends, the last of those faithful to the houses of Hador, Beor and Haleth, who had once sworn their aid to the eldar. We were always glad when others came for in that time of despair finding any left alive was a blessing.

Laiqualassë had remained on the Isle of Balar acting as a liaison between King Gil-Galad and Arvernien. Occasionally Mirwen and I would receive a letter from him, but they were rare. He did not return once in the first ten years that we dwelt in the havens.

Lailitha grew towards adolescence, and we grew closer to one another. We were more like sisters then mother and daughter although when other's asked who I was she called me her foster mother. It was obvious that elflings did not grow as quickly as human children. I guess that is to be expected with an immortal race which does not reach full maturity until they are fifty years of age. Physically at seventeen Lailitha appeared as a human maiden of less then ten years.

Mirwen remained my confident to whom I felt I could speak of anything with out risking rebuke or ridicule. However the fact that Mirwen had given her heart to another was now public knowledge. She spent much time in those years in the company of Thranduil of Doriath when he was not on duty else where. I often wondered when I would see them wearing the silver rings of betrothal.

I had spent the first few years to read and written Sindarin and Quenya. I also learnt the elven mode of writing down music and how to play the harp. Not long after Laiqualassë had left I had began finding places to help around the havens were I could help much as I had in Nan-Tathen. At first I help in the kitchens but soon I found I was pulled more and more to the gardens and the houses of healing.

By the end of our first year in Arvernien I was always working in the gardens. From the elves I learnt about growing both food and herbs, as well as preparing herbs for use both in food and in healing. Between Lailitha and the gardens I was quite busy, but I enjoyed it.

After Laiqualassë left Elwing and Lailitha went to Lady Idril with a request for a change in accommodations. This would see Elwing sharing the large room in my apartment with Lailitha and myself having the room that Laiqualassë had used for the brief time he had spent in Arvernien. At first it was hard to know that I was sleeping in the bed that Laiqualasse had slept in for the short period of time that he had been there, but after a short time it stopped bothering me and the pain of his absence dulled.

The change in accommodations freed the large suit of rooms that Elwing had been granted when she had first arrived for the use of Lady Idril, Lord Tuor and young Earendil. Lady Idril had agreed and although some in Arvernien had found issue with Elwing, by right queen of Doriath sharing accommodations with the daughter of a baker and a Noldorin scout the two elleth found the arrangement most practical as they were rarely out of sight of each other as it was.

I worked out from the position of the solstices in the elven calendar just when my birthday fell while studying in the small library of Arvernien in my first year in the havens. It was on my birthday ten years later that I was looking in the mirror of the bath house. I was thirty years old but it seemed to me that I looked much too young. My family had a tendency of being long lived. My grandmother Buchanon had been 89 when I had left my own time and still lived on her own, and drove her own car. So I shock it off telling myself that I was being silly. It was not possible for someone to go such a period and remain physically unchanged not even the elves exhibited that sort of physical preservation. Although they remained youthful their were small signs in their faces of the passing of the years signs that one became more and more familiar with as one lived among them.

I had continued to learn the art of sword fighting through the years and although I had not yet had to use what I had learnt I had been assured by the sword master that after ten years I might possibility survive an encounter with an orc. The practicing of weapons was not a pass time that had waned in popularity even though we lived in relative peace. For those who lived in Arvernien did not for one moment forget the pain that they had suffered in seeing their cities sacked and forests burnt. How could any of us forget? I couldn't and I had not suffered near as much as many with whom I shared my day to day life.

I had taken Laiqualassë's last words to heart I strived to integrate myself into the fabric of life in Arvernien and accepted the sea coast fortress as my home. At first it was difficult accepting that I would stay here and that it was not only a temporary thing however over the years it became easier and easier to accept.

When the first group of humans arrived in Arvernien Lady Idril came to me asking me to help her settle them as she felt that they would be more comfortable with another of their own kind then with one of the elder. It was strange to be among my own kind again after so many years. I remember being amazed as the mental capacity of the elflings in relation to their size and age but over the years it ceased to be odd. Now it was the human children who seemed strange in how quickly they grew. From the time the first group came I was considered part of the informal welcoming committee from any group of edain that arrived in Arvernien.

These groups of wandering refugees were few and far between. The longer they had been wandering the more haunted their eyes were on their arrival. Some groups were made of entirely elves; others of entirely of men, rarer still were mixed groups. The arrival of these groups were bitter sweet occasions for it meant that more of our allies joined us but it also reminded everyone of those we had lost along the way.

All said I felt satisfied in my life in Arvernien. There were feelings that I had buried deep and that I hoped would never worry me again. Mirwen encouraged me to look for love to find someone who could be for me a life long companion. She having found her hearts true love seemed to want the same for me. However, after voicing her thoughts on the mater a few times it was a simple mater to disabuse her of the notion. I had loved and I loved and my love was unfulfilled. This would not keep me from living a full life. I had Lailitha and the gardens. And at thirty years of age I felt that this was all I would ever need.


	16. Laiqualasse's Visit

**Laiqualassë Visits**

I was in the practice yard working through a form dance one evening; I was alone for I had wished to have some time to myself. I had taken an early supper and now the majority of the residents of the havens were taking theirs. There had been much excitement that day for a small group of wanders had arrived as well as a ship from the Isle. I felt no real interest in either. It was a day where I felt entirely apathetic to my life. This feeling I recognized and it disgusted me.

I was concentrating hard on the forms as I wove my way around the court yard. I worked to keep my foot work light and quick and my blade work fluid and deadly. Somewhere in the back of my mind a few lines of poetry came to me.

_Swift as the coursing river,_

_With all the force of a great typhoon,_

_With all the strength of a raging fire, _

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon. _

I do not remember to this day where I had heard it. It was something from my life before coming to Beleriand.

I had let the world fall away from me as I worked the forms. Falling deep into my own world where I fought the demon of apathetic depression I had been feeling throughout that entire day. I was so far from the true world around me that I did not notice anyone enter the court yard. This was a fault that I was sure the sword master taken me to task on had he been there. In my mind I slice my sword through the flesh of my own inner demon when my practice blade was blocked by another.

I was surprised but the years of training and practice had some used. I spun to release my blade and was about to launch into a counter attack. I looked up at my opponent and surprised for the second time dropped my practice sword.

"You should never drop your sword, little one," he said to me softly. I bit my lower lip sheepishly as I looked into the grey eyes of my first teacher. He smiled at me his eyes twinkling in amusement, his smile was infectious and I soon found one playing across my own lips.

"Laiqualasse," I said. "You have come to visit, at last." I wanted to hug him, but I was not sure how he would react to such a gesture. Once long ago when I had first come to Beleriand I would not have hesitated but I had grown since then. I was more wary of propriety then I had been on those long days marching from Gondolin. In the end I did not have to make a decision for it was Laiqualasse that put down the practice blade he was holding and wrapped his arms around me.

Ten years had passed since I had last seen him. In that embrace, however, all the feelings I thought that I had long since stopped feeling for this ellon surfaced stronger then ever. I felt tears prick at my eyes and I quickly schooled my features to calm working hard not to show what I was truly feeling. Absence did make the heart grow fonder I realised. It was going to be much harder for me to watch him sail way again.

Pulling back I knew I still had tears in my eyes. "I am happy to see you. I have missed you," I said smiling and whipping tears from my eyes at the same time.

"You have changed little, Eruanna," he said brow furrowed. "Less then I would have expected for one of the Atani," he added as he studied my face. With a shake of his head he dropped his arms to his sides. "Come let's put these blades away and join the others for supper. I have yet to speak with my sister. I saw little Lailitha and Lady Elwing right after I finished my business with Lady Idril and Lord Tuor. They told me that you would be here practicing so I came to find you. I have missed you too, little one."

I gave him a smile as a lump formed in my throat, the words that Mirwen had spoken to me many years before about the consequences of loving her brother surfaced in my mind. "Why have you come now?" I asked as we walked towards my chambers where I knew Mirwen, Lailitha and Elwing would be waiting.

As we entered the chamber we found Thranduil there as well. Mirwen stood next to their hands clasped. Mirwen came forward and hugged her brother quickly. He returned her embrace then she took my hand and pulled me unceremoniously into her room. It was only as she closed the door that I noticed a simple silver band on her hand.

"You have plighted your troth!" I exclaimed happy for my friend.

"Yes, we have but that is not all," she continued. "Thranduil wishes to go east, to try to find his father. We are sailing first to the Isle of Balar. I will not be wed without Laiqualasse at my side. We plan to use the Isle as a starting point in our search for his father, the Lord Oropher."

"You are leaving Arvernien?" I asked rhetorically in a near whisper. I tried to keep my utter despair from showing on my face.

"Lord Tuor and Lady Idril have given us leave. We plan on sailing at the new moon when Laiqualasse must return. Eruanna you could come with us to the Isle. Lady Idril agreed that should you wish it you too could go, as well as Lailitha," said Mirwen. Elwing who had not spoken understanding that this was between Mirwen and I looked up in shock when Mirwen mentioned the possibility that Lailitha may be leaving in a month's time as well.

"I…I don't know Mirwen," I said. I was sure that Lailitha would have no wish to leave Arvernien and I would not leave her. She had not yet come of age and when I had taken responsibility for her ten years before it had not been to toss it aside when I had a better option. "If Lailitha does not wish to go, I will not. I must think on this. Mirwen, I apologies I must get some air," with this I rose and left the chamber.

**AN: ** The small snipet of poetry is from the movie Mulan. I have always loved it and decided to included it here. Two chapters today…best be satisfied because I have to write the next chapter from scratch where it has simply been a matter of piecing these two together. Hope everyone is having a great winter (summer in the southern hemisphere) holiday.

Elariel Erestorion


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note:

Although I have not worked on this story for years I occasionally get a review asking me to finish it, I would like to thank everyone for these kind reviews. I am now a graduate student and I will be starting my PhD. in the fall I suspect that I will not have time to finish this tale, particularly not with the care I took writing the first sixteen chapters.

I am not a linear writer, however, and as such I have material written throughout the story and at least a sentence about each of the chapters. After a year of toying with the idea I have decided to post the raw material I do have. Be aware that everything posted beyond this point has not been fact checked, edited or cross-referenced back to previous chapters to avoid inconsistencies. Most is just snippets of inspiration I wrote and often before chapters that have already been posted.

I still hope to one day, when I'm done my doctorate to finish this tale in full detail. This day, however, is at least four years in the future and in the mean time I felt I should provide some sort of closure to the story for readers. I apologize for the quality of the writing, as well as, any canonical errors. When I was working on this a lot I had my full stock of Tolkien's works and spent hours looking for any details on each period I wrote about before posting the chapter, the material beyond this point has not received this degree of vetting.

Thank you for reading my story. I hope that the material to follow atleast provides more recompense than leaving the story completely unfinished.

Elariel Erestorion

**Love of Peredhil**

Our time in Arvernien at the mouth of the river Sirion continued in relative peace although it was a lonelier existence for me after Mirwen and Thranduil left with Laiqualasse. Through the next years Earendil grew and came into his own fulfilling all the promise I had ever seen in him. He was gentle and caring. We were still fast friends and we would often spend time together.

Elwing walked towards me sheathed in pristine white as was her practice as she had grown older. I had been wandering through one of the herb gardens of Arvernien picking herbs to be prepared for use in the house of healing. I had watched this young elleth grow into her maturity over the years. She was a good friend and often I found in her my hearts confident as I had once found in Mirwen.

Elwing alone knew all of my heartache for Laiqualasse, how I missed Mirwen and the horrible fearful uncertainty about why I was in Beleriand. She knew my fears about my unnatural youthful appearance. This day however I perceived that it was not I who need to speak and relieve what troubles I felt in my soul. Some would wonder why I wasn't so forth coming with Lailitha but there are some things that I felt I could not share with my daughter.

In exchange Elwing spoke to me about growing up. At this time we looked to be about the same age although I was fifteen years her senior. There were things in Elwing's development that had come from her human heritage and she had felt more comfortable speaking about them to me then to anyone else.

Elves come of age when their parents deem that they are fit to take on the responsibilities of an adult. This generally occurs somewhere close to their fiftieth year. However, in the case of Earendil it was the last night of his thirty-fourth year that would mark his entrance in to maturity. We had by this time been in Arvernien for twenty-four years. This night was to be marked by a grand feast and dancing which all the inhabitants of Arvernien could attend.

I spent the day in the gardens, it was spring and planting had to be done. I enjoyed digging my figures through the fresh earth. I made me fell better knowing that I was doing something to hep the survival of the people who had shared everything with me. I wiped the sweat from my face, and looked up to see Lord Gilmir looking down at me from the other side of the tomato bed I had been working it.

"Good morning," I said smiling. Lord Gilmir had never really conversed with me before. I knew he did not particularly like me but then he seemed standoffish with most of the elves as well.

"This is a good place for you, human spy, on your knees I the muck." He said in a cold sneering voice. "Weak and useless, that's all that you are. Tuor and Idril do not see it and the fool, Laiqualasse, has always had a blind spot for the weak. He always took pity on those who had nothing and were useless. He would give them hope that they could make a difference that they meant something to him, but really they were just playthings. I don't ever think he realizes what he is doing. By the way has he sent you a letter recently?" His words felt like a hard slap.

"Mirwen is just like her brother, helping him with his projects. In the end the two leave their pets thinking they can change the world, but really they are the same useless lumps of flesh that they were to begin with. I assume that you haven't heard from her recently either." All I could do was sit there and listen as he ripped into my protector and teacher, my friend and me. Tears were threatening to roll down my cheeks

"Good day my Lady, take good care of those tomatoes," with this Lord Gilmir left. He had called me my Lady but it had sounded like a vile curse. The only bright spot was that he had called the plants I was tending tomatoes when indeed they had been basil. It was this one flaw that led me to discard with his other comments, for all they had cut me deeply, and continue my work.

Elwing in need of council comes to Eruanna for the comfort an elder sister can bring

Earendil courts Elwing

Earendil speaks to Eruanna once more of loves and of her choice of celibacy

Elven weddings are beautiful ceremonies; however I will not record the details of the ceremony here for they do not record it. However there was always sadness in the ceremony as well. Parents have an important role to play in the ceremonies but after five hundred years of war in Beleriand many of the elves I had seen wed since coming to Arvernien had either been orphaned or half-orphaned and among these was Elwing once Princess of Doriath. It was costume to select two elves to stand in for ones parents but it is hard to come to terms with. I know that when I had pictured my own nuptials my parents were always present.

For Elwing it was a trying time. She loved Earendil dearly but the planning of nuptials brought up a lot of long buried grief for her mother and father. Lailitha confided in me often how worried she was for her friend. Lailitha feared that Elwing would allow her grief over her parents to over shadow her happiness at her union to the man she loved.

I also often heard similar worries from Earendil, who had taken to confiding things in me as well. He expressed concern that people would not understand why he and Elwing were to be wed before reaching their fiftieth year. It was obvious when dealing with the peredhil you could not follow the regular rules. They had grown and matured faster then other elfling. I tried to ease his mind by reminding him that the Sindar would remember Dior Eluchil, who would have also matured quickly. I also told him that none would question the wisdom of his mother and father who had both consented to this union.

Elwing and Earendil are wed


	18. Chapter 18

**Tuor's Longing**

It was not long after the union of Elwing and Earendil that Laiqualasse returned from the isle of Balar. With him came Cirdan, the renowned shipwright. Tuor had sent word to Laiqualasse that he wished to have a ship built at Arvernien and that he hoped Cirdan would come build it for him.

No gift of foresight was needed to see that Tuor was reaching the end of his days. Although his physical strength had not waned his blond hair leaned heavily towards being white instead of golden and his fair features showed weathered lines from the years of sorrow and cares that weighed heavily upon his shoulders.

I know Tuor's mortality weighed on Idril greatly. Often she was seen walking in gardens hands clasped and eyes haunted letting no one get close. I know she knew something of her fea-mates plans before he announced them on the arrival of Laiqualasse and Cirdan.

Tuor stood in the hall an announced to all gathered there that he planed to build a ship. For all Tuor was a mortal man it seemed he felt the sea longing just as strongly as most of the elder. He planned to seek the west and there supplicate the Valar for their mercy on those who lived in Middle-Earth.

recount of Earendil and Elwing's conversation with Eruanna about Tuor's sea longing

Idril asks for council from the one who knows the future

"Eruanna," Idril said. Her voice which had usually been filled with kindness and confidence was now riddled uncertainty and hesitance. I had never heard the Noldorin princess sound like this, not even during those long marches from Gondolin years before.

"Yes, Lady Idril," I replied turning to her with a small curtsy. I had known her for nearly three decades and I had been her unofficial babysitter for nearly two however there had never been and would never be complete informality between us.

"You must tell me what will happen! You must tell me if my husband will leave me alone here. You must!" Her voice contained an absolute command the uncertainty gone completely this wasn't a request for information that I may poses it was an outright demand to know what no sentient being should know, what will happen in the future. I was glad that she had not done this many years before when I would not have been able to withstand the power radiating from her in that moment. She was one the Calaquendi, one of those who had seen the trees in bloom and I felt the strength of her in that moment. It was very hard not to tell her what I knew even though that was very little.

I looked at my protectress sadly. "I can not tell you Idril. You must be free to make your own choices." She looked at me angrily her eyes flashing.

"Can not or will not Eruanna," she spat.

"Both my Lady," replied politely. "I can not because I remember very little and will not because what must happen must, for all our sakes."

"This will not be the last we speak Eruanna-Mernaselde," she said with venom. She spun around her long blond hair whipping around her as she stormed away.

Idril's decision, Tuor and Idril depart

Earendil blames Eruanna for his mother and fathers departure

Elwing's pregnancy

It was drawing nigh to me fiftieth birthday that I looked in the mirror one morning after my bath and realised that I did not look fifty. My mother had been fifty when I had first come to Beleriand and I have never forgotten her face. My mother had not looked her age and this was exaggerated because she constantly died her hair. Even so I knew there was no way I looked as old as she had. When I had turned thirty I could brush it off but the lack of grey hairs was too obviously wrong.

I knew that I had to make sure that I wasn't just gong insane, and I had to talk to someone about it. I dressed and went to the airy well lit room that Elwing had chosen as her sewing room. Elwing and her maid were sitting in the chamber sewing baby clothes for the twins when they were born.

Both of the elleth smiled as I entered. "Good morning, Elwing," I said. I reached over and picked up the little tunic that I had been working on the day before.

"Good morning Eruanna. Have you seen Lailitha this morning?" asked Elwing. "She told me that she would be joining us today when I spoke to her yesterday but I haven't seen her since," said Elwing.

"She went to work in the fields this morning and told me to tell you she would be in after the noon hour," I replied relaying the message Lailitha had given me for her friend. Lailitha had no airs from being Lady Elwing's unofficial Lady in Waiting and took to much joy in being out of doors working in the fields and the forest to give up the tasks.

"Sometimes I don't think Lailitha realizes just how dear a friend she is to me," said Elwing with a concerned look.

"She does Elwing but she is still a little over whelmed by your rank. It was on thing when you were both elflings chasing butterflies in the gardens but now you are Lady of Arvernien. Lailitha is not less your friend but she is still trying to find the balance between the love of a friend and the respect for ones liege lady. Mirwen explained this to me years ago as she went through the same thing with Finduilas, when they were young in Tirion," I said remember a long ago conversation with my absent friend.

Elwing nodded her head in understanding. "I just wish she saw that friendship means so much more to me then rank."

"She does," I replied. "Elwing, have I aged at all since you first me?" I asked feeling horribly self-conscious.

"No Eruanna, you haven't. It is strange to be sure but I don't think you need to worry about it. Some people age slower then others among mortals I'm told," she replied.

Her answer did not ease me at all. She was eldar raised and knew little of her human heritage. She did not understand that although ageing may vary not ageing at all in thirty years could not be natural. It was one of those moments where I felt very alone in the world. When I had lost my moon times all those years before when I had first come to Beleriand I had been able to come up with a plausible explanation. That first year had been difficult taxing me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I had been poisoned as well. It was easy enough for me to brush off the loss as my body's response to what I had gone through. However, the fact that I had not aged at all was wholly unnatural.

Slowly I put stitches into the small tunic. I let the monotony of the task sooth my mind. Elwing and her maid continued to talk light heartedly. Elwing had leapt on the chance to bother her maid about the guard she was courting. He was currently off on scouting duty but when he was at the havens he and the maid were near inseparable. Colinde, the maid, frowned at the younger elleth then put down the cloth for a moment.

At behest of mother and wife Earendil apologies for his presumption


	19. Chapter 19

**Vingilot**

Cirdan return to Arvernien at Earendil's request

The building of the ship Vingilot commences

Often I found Elwing in that time looking out the casement window down at the shipyard. Now heavy with child she watched as her husband and the shipwrights built the vessel that would carry Earendil away from her and their children. She turned as she heard me approach. I had learnt to walk quietly in my years living amongst the elves; however I could never attain the silence of their foot falls.

"He will leave, won't he Eruanna?" she said half asking half stating. "He will leave, and none shall see him again just like his parents."

"Elwing, do you really want me to tell you this?" I asked. The memories were quite faded now, full of holes and foggy. Something's were as clear as the day I had first read the books however. The fate of Earendil and Elwing was one thing I had not forgotten. I hoped that Elwing wouldn't demand that I give her information as her mother-in-law had. I could not truthfully say that I could not tell her of what would happen in the future for I did know and it wasn't pretty.

Elwing's features softened. "I do not expect you to answer. I know that you feel that you can't tell us what you know. Just tell me one thing; will my twins escape the fate that my bothers endured?"

"Yes, from what I remember and that is little, your children will carry on the line of the peredhil with honour."

Birth of Elrond and Elros

Earendil sails

Elwin pines, often twins are left with Eruanna and Lailitha, who act at nursemaid and tutor to the children

Laiqualasse returns to Arvernien at Elwing's request

Laiqualasse feels the doom that he felt upon arriving in Sirion approach, he warns Elwing


	20. Chapter 20

**To Fulfill a Vow**

After Laiqualasse's warning Elwing gives all the chance to flee, a very small minority including Lord Gilmir leave

Lailitha departs at the insistence of Laiqualasse and Eruanna,

"I don't understand why I must go. I am of age Eruanna!" My foster daughter said to me forcefully after I had told her that I required her to leave for the Isle of Balar.

I looked at her and saw the elleth she had become. "I know you are no longer an elfling Lailitha but I swore over your mother's bones that I would care for you and let no harm come to you and to that end I require you take the ship to Balar. Will you disobey me now?" I asked.

"No I won't but know that I'm not happy that you are taking this choice from me," she said. She put her arms around my neck and hugged me. "What if I never see you again Eruanna?" she asked.

"Don't think like that Lailitha, we will see each other again one day, no matter how long it will be. Now, you need to go get the things you will need. The ship leaves on the evening tide and I still need to write a letter to Mirwen."

The remaining son's of Feanor attack the havens of Sirion

Battle is joined

Laiqualasse and Eruanna stand guard over Elwing and her twins

**Escape**

"Go Eruanna," she screamed at me, with a gleaming sword held in her pale hand and the Nauglamir clutched in other. "Take the twins and run," she insisted. Already the fighting outside the walls could be heard. I looked at her and at Laiqualassё and at the twins.

"Eruanna," I shifted my gaze back to his starlight grey eyes. "Go, little one, take the twins and go." His voice was soft but urgent.

"I will not leave you," I replied.

"You will," he said. "You will leave because in dieing you will do no good here. Eruanna, give Mirwen my love, tell her that I miss her and I will await her in Aman. Tell Lailitha that Ionvain and Curoneth would have been proud of her, and that I a proud of our little Lailitha as well. Now go,"

During the time that Laiqualassё was speaking Elwing had been speaking to the twins, she had flattened the arguments that they had about staying and had given them each a bundle to carry. I swung a pack onto my back and taking a little hand in each of my own I ran. I looked back one last time as we past through the small gate in the seaward wall and descended onto the beach. Laiqualassё and Elwing stood watching us go as the battle poured through the main gate.

"I love you, Eruanna," Laiqualassё called to me as we past through the gate. There was not time to answer so I continued to run. Elros and Elrond had tears pouring down their faces as did I. Elros was murmuring that he should have stayed to protect his mother but Elrond ran in silence with a look on his face that was years too old for him. His face reminded me so much of his father's during the flight from Gondolin, there I had lost my saviour and here I was sure that I had lost my teacher, my guide and my love.

We ran down the hard packed sand of the beach, away from the clash of the battle behind us. I knew to where I was headed, many years before when I had not long been in Arvernien Mirwen and I along with Lailitha and Elwing had explored this shore. We had found a small cave with a fresh water stream in it. It was for that cave that I was headed.

When I reached the cave with the twins we huddled together in the back of the cave. After some time night fell and we laid our blankets down close together. After what seemed like hours unconsciousness finally overcame me, and I fell into a restless troubled sleep.

A song was heard echoing along the beach melding perfectly with the calm lapping of the wave on the shore. The music crept into the little cave bring to its inhabitants a sense of a mournful sadness that bridged ages. The voice that sang was male but the beauty of it was beyond anything that I had ever heard. It was this tragic song that woke me from sleep.

As I woke I noticed that Elros was standing near the entrance of the cave off to one side. His brother was also awake listening to the singing but unlike his brother he was simply sitting on his blanket. Elros began to walk slowly towards it seemingly entranced with the song he was hearing. I left my bed roll quickly leaving my blankets in a twisted heap on the cave floor.

"Elros," I hissed quietly. The young peredhil took no notice of me. "Elros, don't go out there," I said with force but still keeping my voice quiet. However, Elros did not heed my words and left the cave. I grabbed my sword and was at the cave entrance in moments however, before I reached the cave entrance the singing stopped.


	21. Chapter 21

**Sons of Feanor**

When I left the cave I came face to face with a tall dark haired elf with a tortured sadness in his grey eyes. He had some of the same characteristics that were left on all of the royalty of the Noldor. It was something I had seen in Idril, Earendil, and the twins faces. It seemed that Finwe had left his mark on all is descendants in one way or another. I was scared out of my wits at this point as I could only think of one group of Finwe's descendants with dark hair still alive on this side of the ocean, the sons of Feanor.

Maglor tells Eruanna what came to take place at the Havens

Maglor offers to foster the twins

"Lady, I would like to foster the twins. They will need someone who can teach them how to survive," he said.

"And you believe that I know nothing of survival? I will have you know that I stood in Gondolin the day that it fell. I saved a child at the battle of Nan-Tathen. Do you seriously believe that Lady Elwing would have sent her children into hiding with a guardian who knew nothing of survival?" I asked rather insulted by his comments.

I must give Maglor credit he looked thoroughly chastised. "My Lady I meant no insult I am sure that you too have survived things however you are not, well that is to say that you appear to be one of the Edain."

"I am, in a way, but this has what relevance to being unable to survive?"

"Well, as you are mortal, one day you will die will you not?"

Eruanna is hesitant but know she can not change the future

Maglor puts his offer to the twins

Twins accept on stipulation that Eruanna remains as well

Eruanna becomes Nanneth

The raising of Elros and Elrond

Eruanna and Maglor do not see eye to eye

Create tension

Ends with arrival of the Valinorean forces

**Calirion's Prophesy**

Meeting Galadriel, elven princess tells Eruanna of the fates of Earendil and Elwing which she had learnt from the Valinorians

Eruanna tells the twins of their parents

End of the War of Wrath

Travels to field of victory

Elros and Elrond are given an audience with Eonwe

Eruanna meets Calirion of the Vanyar

The gift is give and a prophesy is made

Gift is an elixeer that would keep one of the children of Illuvatar alive for half a year

Prophesy that she would one day need it and it would save her someone she loved


	22. Chapter 22

**The Truth**

"Sit Anne-Marie," said Lord Eonwё. It was the first time I had heard my true name spoken from any lips in many years. I could hardly breath, the Maia before me was unlike any being I had ever met. Power infused him, golden light enshrouded him and peace seemed to radiate from him. I was glad to be given leave to sit for I did not know how much longer I could have remained on my feet. How the Amanyar dwelt ever in the presence of such beings I could not at the time understand or imagine. Lord Eonwё was beautiful and terrible; I felt love and fear infuse me at once.

"Thank you, my Lord," I said speaking Quenya as I had first learnt it. Three languages I had now learnt, Belerandic Quenya, which was a bastardized mixture of pure Quenya and Sindarin, the Valinorin Quenya spoken by the refugees of Gondolin and pure Sindarin. I sat on a chair which seemed to be aside from a small table the only furniture in the tent.

"Your story Anne-Marie of Thunder Bay is an odd one. Many things I have to tell you today, much of which has until this time been only known only to the Ainur and Eru himself. However, my Lord Manwё deemed it necessary to inform you for it is your right to understand why you are here," said Lord Eonwё pacing in front of me.

"When Ea was created the flame imperishable was sent to dwell with in it. The flame imperishable was a thing of Eru Illuvatar alone and was a thing of his timeless halls. By placing this flame within Ea this world was tied to His halls forever. This had an effect that I do not believe that even Eru expected. In tying somewhere where time rules to a place that is timeless thin spots develop in the material of the veil between them.

"Sometimes, on a rare occasion small holes develop in the fabric of this veil, much as a hole would develop in a material where different pressures exist on either side when there is a weakness in the material. However, instead of exchanging matter to balance out the pressure the holes connect to one another. Each hole is unique to a point I space and time, so they only exist in terms of the present for an instant. The pressure difference, for lack of better words, between the world where one end of this hole and that on the other is the balance of life and death.

These holes are exceedingly rare for the fabric of Ea is strong and for them to affect anything severely the difference between life pressures must be great. We had thought because the probability of these conditions being satisfied was so exceedingly rare that it would be almost impossible for anything important to come of this.

"However you sit before me today. You just happened to be precisely in time and space where one of these holes existed. One connected to the court yard in Gondolin that day. Gondolin was dieing and in your moment it was spring and the time of new life. To balance the life pressures you were sucked through.

"In your time lore masters have come to postulate the existence of these holes, they call them worm holes. You are the only one ever to come through one. Now, you have noticed your body has remained basically physically unchanged. All living things feel time as a linear one directional flow. Thus as you have yet to be born you do not age.

"You are in a semi-stasis, your body still needs to be fed and to drink and to sleep and other such physical needs but you are not truly alive, nor are you dead. You have not been born yet so you simply are and you body is simply a vessel of you spirit," said Lord Eonwё.

"That is also why my moon times have stopped, I assume," I said trying to absorb what I was being told.

"Yes, some one who hasn't been born can not bear children. Your body is not like that of an elleth, it only has a certain number of years in which you can beard children, as such you stopped reacting to the passing of the months in order to conserve these years. This is indeed part of the stasis.

"You will return to full status as a living being the moment you left your own time. When that time comes around another worm whole will open from where ever you are to the moment that follows the moment you were sucked out of thus rebalancing the life pressures. If you were killed before that time your spirit will roam this world in formlessness until the moment of your return at which time you will experience true death, for you body will still be broken," Lord Eonwё explained.

"You will return in what ever physical state you are in at that moment, the stasis covers only illness, ageing and your moon times. An arrow through the heart will still kill you just as quickly as it would before."

"So, I must exist all of the thousands of years between now and then, and I will return either to my body or into death with the memories of those twelve thousand years. If I return to my own body I will find myself as a twenty year old with a normal life span ahead of me?" I asked.

"Yes," Lord Eonwe looked sympathetic and I understood why. My fate was nothing to envy. "Have you any questions?" he asked genteelly.

"No, thank you my Lord, for telling this to me." I stood and curtsied before leaving the tent.

Outside there was quite the upheaval. Elves were running everywhere and were up in arms. The corpses of two Noldo elves lay on the ground. I closed my eyes, I knew what had occurred. I watched as Eonwё came out and told the elves to let Maglor and Meadhros go. I couldn't believe it, why did they have to add more pain and suffering after all that had happened. I walked away towards the tent that Elrond and Elros had set up for us. My mind wandered over what Lord Eonwё had said.

Stasis of my biorhythms, the cessation of my moon times and the fact I had not aged in over a hundred years, it was all explained to me. After almost a hundred years of existence I was realizing how much of a gift mortality was. I had watched so much death and horror, what I wouldn't give to escape it all. However, I was bound. I would not die even if I was killed through violent act my freed spirit would still be bound to this Middle-Earth. Stasis, Lord Eonwё had called it; he had said that I was in stasis. I said that I was cursed. I was devoid of all gifts; I had not the gift of mortality given as was given to my own people nor did I have the right to sail as the eldar. I was trapped bound ever to this earth.


	23. Chapter 23

**Many Meetings**

Elrond and Elros tell Eruanna of their decisions and the fate they have thus chosen, in turn Eruanna tells them of her fate

Rejoining Galadriel, Celeborn

I walked that day on the brim of the ocean. We had stopped the night before and set up our camp. Elros had spent most of the night speaking to Lord Celeborn of the responsibilities of a leader. The elf lord had made it his duty to teach Elros everything he could before his young kinsman left for Numenor. Elrond was off somewhere on his own, he had spent a lot of time thinking during the last little while and I was worried about him. The knowledge that he and his brother who had been two peas in a pod their whole life had just made decisions that would sunder them forever was troubling him greatly.

The waves lapped over the tops of my

Galadriel comes to the beach and suggests Eruanna return to Lindon with Celeborn,and herself

**In the Court of the King**

As we dismounted from our horses before the High Kings residence at Lindon I felt numb. Everything made perfect sense now but none of it made me happy. All I wanted was to escape the sadness, I wished in many ways I could sail. Perhaps it is true that in eating so much elven bread I had become more like the elves myself and that it had been that that had set the yearning in my heart, even now I know not.

We rode into the havens tired and travel worn; I could not help but remember my arrival in Arvernien near a century before. Our horses were taken from us by King Gil-Galad's stable hands and we walked into the building that housed the court of the High King. Galadriel and Celeborn led us through the halls, Elrond and Elros both sober of face walked on either side of me. We entered the great hall where Gil-Galad sat in judgement. Each of us bowed or curtsied. Gil-Galad descended from his modest throne, modest seeing as he was high king.

"Lady Galadriel, you should not bow to me, for you are my Father's sister. I know that if you wished it would be you not I on this throne." He said taking his aunt's hand and kissing her golden cheek. "Where have you been these years?"

"Ah, but that is not my wish, Erennion. It was your throne as it was once my brothers'. Hold it well and may you come to a brighter fate then they." She smiled at her nephew. Tall, it was one of the first superlatives ever used to describe her. She and Gil-Galad stood with in an inch in height. "I have dwelt long on the shores of the Lake Evenduin east of the Ered Luin."

Next he came to Celeborn; they exchanged fair words of greeting as was expected in between kinsman by marriage as well as by blood through Gil-Galad's grandmother Earwen. It could be seen, however, that the golden king and the silver lord did not see eye to eye.

He came then to the twins, my sweet twins. Embracing each of them in turn, as they too were his kin through Turgon as well as through Elu Thingol. "You both have a place in this court if that is your wish. For it was through your parents' trials and sacrifices that this peace has been brought to us and our freedom from Morgoth we owe to them." Said Gil-Galad.

"We were given a choice, High King. As peredhil we had to choose which kindred we would be judged under," said Elrond softly but no one in the hall missed his words.

"The edain have been given an isle in the sea to the west, nigh on to Tol Ereassea, so that they can ever be near the Eldar yet still within the mortal lands. I will be leaving with the first fleet to be their first king. For as I am the descendant of both Tuor son of Huor of the house of Hador and of Beren son of Barahir of the house of Beor. My choice was to be judged among mortal men," said Elros in explanation.

"I will, however, accept your offer, High King, at least for now," said Elrond. "For my choice was to be judged among the elder children of Illuvatar." My heart sorrowed ever at the division of these two brothers who had ever been close. It made me think of my own brother, he would never know we had been separated but I would experience a separation of many millennia. I saw the same sorrow reflected in Gil-Galad's eyes.

"You are ever welcome here Elros, King of the Eldalie, and Elrond I accept you readily into my house. You shall be my banner barer." The high King originally of high spirits was now sombre and quiet. He came to me and I curtsied before him.

"Many years you have lived among us, Lady Eruanna-Mernaseldё. Yet I see before me a daughter of men night on her twentieth year, how is this possible. I know you went to seek knowledge, and I hope it would not be too much to ask you that you share this knowledge with me now." All others around the hall became silent. There were not many who had not heard of Eruanna Mernaseldё. "Will you too be departing to this western isle of men?"

"Stasis, it was called by Lord Eonwё, herald of Manwё. Stasis until the moment I left my own time comes again. I am neither immortal nor mortal. As I am yet to be born I can not yet die. I will live much as you the eldar live for all the millennia that stretch between now and then. I have neither the gift of men in mortality nor the right to sail as you do," I looked into Gil-Galad's grey eyes. "I find comfort among the eldar for you understand my sorrows. I will live among you so long as any of you remain upon this Middle-Earth who will suffer my presence."

Gil-Galad nodded his fair head in understanding. At that moment I was reminded strikingly of his cousin Idril, the familial resemblance was striking for all Gil-Galad was of the line of Finarfin and Idril was of that of Fingolfin." You are welcome in my land, Lady Eruanna, foster mother of the peredhil, as long as you wish to remain." I bowed my head in thanks and curtsied once more.

"Come, my friends and kin. I remember long days in the saddle well. Baths are ready for you and clean cloths have been found." Gil-Galad motioned for those who were to lead us to our baths. Well all moved out of the hall to go get cleaned up for dinner.

I was led to a bathing chamber and upon entering I saw two elleth I had not seen in many years. One was shorter and had dark hair; the other was tall and willowy even for an elf and had silver blond hair. The dark haired elleth had not changed at all since she had taken ship to the Isle of Balar, leaving to be with the ellon she loved when he set forth to find his lost kin. She was dressed in a white robe and her dark hair flowed over her back. The blond had changed only in that time now weighed more heavily upon her shoulders. She work a silver robe and stood with her head slightly bowed listening to the dark haired elleth.

They both turned to the door when they heard it open. The elleth who had been my guide curtsied quickly. "My apologies Lady Mirwen, Lady Lailitha, I was told that no one was using this chamber. I will take Lady Eruanna to another," as the elleth turned to leave Lailitha let out a joyous cry which cause a laugh to bubble out of Mirwen. Lailitha attacked me with such force I almost toppled over. Mirwen joined in the group hug leaving a disconcerted maid watching from the side lines.

"Do not think of taking her from here Melethwiel she is returned to us and we will not give her up. How many times do I have to tell you that my name is Mirwen and it needs no embellishment?" The elleth curtsied and left the chamber.

"Why is it Eruanna that each time we meet your hair is in need of brushing and your cloths are dirty?" asked Mirwen tisking over my appearance.

"It occurs because she insists on saving the world instead of herself," replied Lailitha.

"Oh, but it's good to have you back, mellon-nin. You do not know how much I feared you were dead, killed either by violence or by time itself," said Mirwen leading Eruanna towards the bath.

"Mirwen and I have had ours already, let us pamper you Nan-anna," said Lailitha lapsing back into her childhood name for me. She had said that I was a gift to her after her own mother had been killed.

I stepped into the bath and let the water sooth my tired muscles, and relax me. "It is good to see you alive, Mellon-nin, Sell-nin." I said quietly.

An hour later I found my self stuffed into one of Mirwen's gowns and having my hair braided and twisted with in an inch of its life. I realised how much I hated dresses especially dresses that were too tight across my chest and hips and were more then three inches too long in the skirts. I was much thinner then I had been when I fallen into Gondolin but I would never have the willowy figure of an elleth.

Mirwen had dressed and done her own hair while I had been in my bath as had Lailitha. Mirwen looked beautiful in her midnight blue gown and Lailitha was a vision in white and gold. I was dressed in green and Mirwen was flittering around me making small adjustments and tacking up the hem in the front of the skirt so that I could at least make some attempt at waking with out tripping over my skirts and breaking my neck.

"Well Nan-Anna we must get you a dress or two of your own it you are to be living here at the court of the High King." Said my traitorous first foster child. I glared as her and she laughed at me, I looked around the room for a pair of leggings and a tunic but none could be seen.

Just then a knock came at the door to Mirwen's room where we had been getting dressed. Mirwen went to answer it. "Thranduil and who ever was chosen by the High King to be our escorts for the evening," she said in explanation of Mirwen's speed in answering the door.

Thranduil I looked forward to seeing as I remembered him fondly from Arvernien. He had been one of the Sindar who had been with the refugees at Nan-Tathen. He had been a boundary guard of Doriath and had been one of the guards under Laiqualasse's command. My eyes stung at the effort to hold back tears as they always did when I thought of Laiqualasse. As none had mentioned him I assumed that he had not survived the battle at the Havens of Sirion. I assumed that if he had lived he would greeted me when I had arrived, or that his sister would have at least said something knowing what her brother meant to me.

I felt happiness for Thranduil and Mirwen for they deserved the good that had come to them. As Mirwen opened the door I stood and walked towards it with Lailitha. I watched in silence as the dark haired Sindar greeted his betrothed. Every movement, every word and every look showed how much love lay between these two. It reminded me greatly of the love bond that had lain between Idril and Tuor.

"Lirimear," said Thranduil as he took his wife's hand and kissed it. Then turning to Lailitha and myself he broke his gaze from Mirwen with what seemed to be a great deal of effort. "Lady Eruanna, Lady Lailitha, your escorts should be here shortly. I apologies for their tardiness."

I smiled at him. Thranduil…Thranduil… I tried to remember what I could of that name, the only connection I could make was that he had some thing to do with a woodland realm, dark wood…no…Blackwood….no…more and more at that time my memories were becoming foggy. As Lord Eonwe had said it was amazing what the mind can forget when the soul has no wish to remember. "Thank you, my Lord Thranduil."

Just then voices could be heard in the passage. "Come, it can't be that bad. King Gil-Galad would not force his friend to escort someone who would to not but make him miserable." I knew the voice to be that of Elrond.

"Elrond, speak not of what you don't understand. I have no will to go to such thing with anyone on my arm. There is only one I wish for and she is lost to me. I wish Gil-Galad would just let me mourn that which I lost before I ever had in peace and stop forcing me into these ridiculous predicaments." I knew that voice, but it couldn't be.

I looked into Mirwen's face and saw the playful smirk and knew full well it could be and it was. She had kept us both in the dark. I smirked; I guess I would play along with this game. I remembered the last time I had seen him. I was looking back over my shoulder as I ran down the sand beach away from the Havens holding the hands of the protesting twins. I looked back to the battle, to him one last time. "I love you," he had cried out to me. Then I turned and fled. Now I stepped further back into the room so that I couldn't be seen from the door way.

My foster son and my love arrived at the door. "Lady Lailitha, I am Elrond, it has been many years since we last met. I hoped that you would allow me to accompany you to dinner." Asked Elrond politely.

Lailitha let out her trade mark silvery laugh. "Of course, my Lord Elrond, however you must call me Lailitha for we are sibling you and I. Do we not share a foster mother?"

"That we do," said Elrond with a laugh and a smile lighting his face.

Laiqualassё looked around, "Sister is this some kind of joke between you and Gil-Galad to get me to dress up or do you truly have a friend here in need of a dinner escort." Said Laiqualassё in an exasperated tone.

"Laiqualassё, do you think so lowly of me? She is here only she is a bit shy. Come mellon-nin, my brother is quite sweet if you give him a chance," called Mirwen still giggling under her breath. I moved out of the shadows into the light pouring through the window behind me. I just stood there radiant in the light and Laiqualassё could do not but stare at me speechless. Mirwen ushered the other three away from the door. They had had their fun now they had to let Laiqualassё and I have a chance to understand what had happened.

"Little one," he said in little more then a whisper. If there had been any noise at all I would not have heard his words. I stepped towards him and he reached for me. Next thing I knew I was in his arms and his lips crashed into mine. It was the kiss I had dreamed of for years, yet it was more, much more.


	24. Chapter 24

The Past, the Present and hope for the Future

Eruanna and Laiqualassё talk over the years

Eruanna being barren for the next 12000 years brought up

To Wed an Elda

Preparing the fleet bound for Numenor

Goodbey Mother-Son chat between Eruanna and Elros

Elros departs for Numenor

Laiqualassё and Eruanna are bound

The morning of the happiest day of my life dawned beautifully reflecting in the brilliant sunrise the perfect joy I felt in the depths of my heart. Mirwen had woken me just before dawn as I had asked her too. What woman had not dreamt of her wedding day as a child? My dreams had always begun withstanding with my brother and my best friend watching the sun rise on the first day of the rest of my life. The only sadness I felt on my actual wedding day was that Padraige and Aiden would not be there.

Mirwen and I did not speak as we stood on a hill top just on the edge of the Lindon. The sun rose in a fresco of blues and pinks, brilliant orange clouds on the horizon did not look as though they would threaten us with rain. It was nearly an hour that we stood there and by the time we made our way back to my rooms to break our fast the gulls were calling in a clear cerulean summer sky.

"After today you will truly be my sister," said Mirwen giving me an enthusiastic hug as Lailitha and Melethriel arrived with our breakfast. Although I was happy I could not help but feel a little nervous about what was coming. The elven wedding ceremony was a solemn affair and I could just see myself forgetting what to say and disgracing myself in front of everyone.

"I will at that won't I," I said putting pre-marital jitters aside. I did not feel that I could eat any of the food that my soon to be sister and foster daughter placed in front of me. "I really don't feel like eating. Lailitha are you still hungry?' I asked offering the elleth my honey cakes.

"I'm not hungry," she replied. "However, I think that you should eat. I wish to have a foster father tonight, not to be embarrassed because my foster mother fainted while taking her own wedding vows. Please save fainting until my own wedding where it will be more appropriate," my pert foster child replied. Mirwen snickered under her breath behind me before both she and Lailitha burst into full blown laughter when I shot her what was supposed to be a withering look.

"Fine, I'll eat another honey cake. You can trust that I will not be so sympathetic when you wed my laughing child," I grumbled sitting down to consume another of the sweet confections. Eating honey cakes was one of those times when I missed home; there was not maple syrup on pancakes here. I sighed dropping my chin into my hand. "I wish my parents could be here," I murmured. "My mother would be so happy and my father would really like Laiqualasse. I miss them so and they will never know I was gone."

"I know Eruanna, I kept thinking about my own mother when I wed Thranduil. Lady Artanis will stand with you in her place," Mirwen put her arms around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I'm being selfish. You have both lost your parents also."

"No, Eruanna," said Lailitha kneeling before me. "My parents I will see one day in Aman as will Mirwen. You have many years to live knowing that your parents are not yet born. I think that is much harder."

**Marital Bliss **

Elrond is feeling depressed and lost after brother leaves

Mother/son chat between Eruanna and Elrond, study of healing suggested

Some writing from a time where Laiqualasse and Eruanna enjoy a period of time with out the worries of war or danger.

The departure of Thranduil and Mirwen for Erin Lasgalen.

"Laiqualasse," I said rolling onto my side so that I could look at my husband. It sent a shiver through me to call him that, even just thinking of it gave me great joy. This sounds like the words of a hormonal teenage girl not those of a mature woman.

Laiqualasse lifted his head slightly opening his eye to look at me. We were lying in a shady glade in the woods not far from Lindon. Our horses were grazing peace fully on the other side of the clearing. Laiqualasse's dark hair was strewn about us free for once of any braids or ties. He pulled on one of my ringlets lazily, the curl straightened and then he let it go watching it bounce back.

"Yes, Melethriel," he said letting his hand fall brushing my check in its decent. The touch was so gentle that it was hardly there yet it burnt through me like liquid fire.

"I was wondering where I could get a book, so I could write my memories. I know I will leave someday and I want a record of my time here, so that I will always have a way of remembering it." A way of remembering my time here yes, but it would also be a way of remembering him. This would be something that would ensure that I would never forget a single thing about him. The thought that we would one day be separated caused my throat to tighten slightly.

He smiled at me and pulled me close so that I lay next to him my head in the hollow of his shoulder. "I will see to it that you have your book Lirimear. Think not only of loss my love," he murmured. Then shifting he kissed me delicately, and sweetly so that I melted into him and his soft kiss turned into one of bright blinding passion.

We were talking of happy unimportant things as we rode back to Lindon that eve. I was laughing at a tale that Laiqualasse was telling me as we rode into the stable yard. Mirwen was standing in the yard waiting for us. She took the reins our horses as we dismounted. She had a quiet knowing smile on her lips one that we often shared since Laiqualasse and I had wed.

"Laiqualasse, Eruanna, I was beginning to think that you would not return this night." She said as we took our horses and began to walk towards the stables. "I am glad that you have, however, for I have much I need to speak with you about."

As we entered the stable two of the grooms rushed forward to take our horses from use. "What has happened?" I asked hoping that her news was good.

"Thranduil returned around midday," said Mirwen a spectacular smile lighting her face. I tried not to laugh knowing I often wore a similar expression. "He met a group of elves, Silvan for the greater part most of them had never came to Beleriand. He travelled with them for a time to a great forest east of the Ered Mithrin, they name the forest Erin Lasgalen. There he found the seat of power of his father Oropher who is now king of those woods. King Oropher has asked Thranduil to come live with him and take his right place as crown prince. Thranduil agreed on the basis that I too would agree. I have for I see that this is what Thranduil wishes and I will not deny him his wish."

Laiqualasse looked at his twin with surprise. What ever he had thought his sister would tell him it was not this. "I am to loose my sister again?" asked Laiqualasse.

"You are not loosing me, gwanur-nin," she said. "We will be able to visit you where ever you and Eruanna choose to live, and you come to visit us in Erin Lasgalen. I am to be a princess, Laiqualasse, I will be able to use everything I learnt in my youth at Finduilas's side to help the people of Erin Lasgalen." I could see the excitement in my sister, by marriage and by choice of the heart; this was an definitely an adventure she wanted to take.

"Laiqualasse," I said softly placing a hand on his arm. "Be happy for you sister for she most surely is." Laiqualasse switched his gaze from his sister to me. I could see the fear looming large in his solemn grey eyes. He didn't want to lose anyone else who he loved as he had already lost so many in the years of war that had ended with the end of the first age.

"Melethriel, if you know something please say it." This was the first time he had ever asked me of what I knew. I had faced such request over the years and had for the most part refused them. However, he look in his eyes was so agonising that I was not able to resist his wish. The pain this was causing him caused an ache in my own heart. I closed my eyes trying to remember everything I had once known and were now so foggy and faded that I could remember very little. I focused on Thranduil and Erin Lasgalen trying to remember something that would ease Laiqualasse. Finally I found a name; a name that I knew told me that Mirwen would live for a good long while yet, Legolas Thranduilion.

"I remember a son of Thranduil," I said softly opening my eyes. "I know your son's name Mirwen and I can say with absolute certainty that you will live to name your child as I doubt Thranduil would choose this name should he loose you. I feel that I should say no more on this subject."

"When Eruanna, when is this child born?" Mirwen asked her eyes bright with the idea of a child. Children were one of the most precious things to the eldar for they were no born often, and less so for the Noldor in exile.

"I can not remember Mirwen, I'm sorry," I said. I looked to Laiqualasse who had wrapped his arms around me. "My memories are very foggy now, just know that what I do remember is with a certainty that I will not question.

"Mirwen," he said addressing his sister. "I have no say in where you go and what you do, not even father held that claim. This is your own life to live. Stay safe my sister that is all that I ask of you." He took her hand in his right as the left was attached the arm around my shoulders. Mirwen dropped his hand and threw her arms around both of us. "I will miss you both but I promise that I will visit and write as often as I can."

A week later Thranduil and Mirwen set out with a company of Silvan and Sindarin elves who wished to join them in Erin Lasgalen. It was a bitter sweet parting, for although they were leaving their trip was not into war or an escape from danger but a voyage towards what would be their home.


	25. Chapter 25

The Emissaries

"No Melethril, you may not come. We ride long and fast and there will be much danger. I would not have you with us had you not injured yourself," said Laiqualassё vehemently. I know no amount of arguing would earn me a place with the emissaries who were going to Erin Lasgalen. "I know you wish to see Mirwen and I will pass a message to her but under no circumstance will you ride with us with a broken arm no less." He stood before me in only his leggings with a silvery tunic clenched in his hand. I couldn't keep my eyes from roaming his body. I pouted, but this did naught but make the elf laugh at my childishness. "Come, little one, it will be but 3 months." He kissed my lips lightly.

"Very well you win," I conceded. "But if you are not back in three months I swear I will have to punish you most severely," I said lightly trying to cover up the pang I felt about him leaving me even for a short time.

In the years since our reunion after the fall of Thangodrim we had been so rarely separated. After our wedding we had not slept in separate beds for as little as a single night yet now he was leaving me for three long months and I knew for all his protests he did not want to leave me anymore than I wished him to leave me behind. "Come put on that tunic we are to meet Gil-Galad and Elrond for supper," I said standing to look in the mirror. I rearranged some of the little braids scattered through my hair.

"Ah, but last night you said you liked me better with out my tunic, "said the dark hair elf behind me. He, now fully clothed, wrapped his arms around my waist nuzzling my neck. Leaning back into his embraced I savoured the feeling of his warm body against my back.

Closing my eyes I sighed. How do you love some one so much that the idea of ever leaving them hurts so terribly? I knew one day Laiqualassё would have to leave me. I even knew that I might have to force him to do so. I would not have him diminish as would be the fate of any elf remaining in Middle-Earth after the end of the third age. Six thousand years in the future yet still I could not stand the thought that the day would come at all.

"Yes, and I do not change my opinion however I do not think that Elrond and Gil-Galad share my opinion. Come let's go Laiqualassё," I said taking his hand. It was still strange for me to wear so many dresses. Laiqualassё loved picking out clothes for me. I guess I was lucky that that was so because I had hated clothes shopping in my own time and having to stand while a seamstress adjust cloth around you is even worse.

We walked through the halls of Gil-Galad's palace at Lindon hand in hand. Elrond live here as well having stayed with me even after his brother had left to be king of Numenor. He was wise beyond his years and yet he called me Nanneth and listened ever when I told him something. He had always been the more serious of the two twins. Elrond was definitely an elf where as Elros had the transience of the race of men. I shivered as I remembered the kin slaying of the Haven's of Sirion.

I remembered Elwing screaming at me to take the twins and run, and so I had. The two elflings wished to fight but I hadn't let them. We had run along the beech away form the battle until we had come to that cave where Mirwen, Lailitha, Elwing and I had often come for pick nicks.

I had taken the elflings to the back of the cave and waited for some sign. I remembered when Maglor had found us. His cold eyes had borne so much pain. The torment of his vow spoken in haste had cost his soul. He had been wandering next to the sea wrapped in horror at his and his brother's deed when he had stumbled on us. He adopted the twins in memory of what he and his brother's had done to Elwing's siblings. He took me under his protection as the twins would not be parted form me. I had pitied Maglor but we were never truly friends more allies with a great deal of distain for each other. We tolerated each other for the sake of the twins.

When I shivered at the memory of those haunted eyes, and Laiqualassё looked down at me. "Are you well Melethril?" he asked with concern. "Does your arm pain you?"

"No, I was just remembering Sirion," No more needed to be said each understood what the other had undergone that day. Laiqualassё had been Elwing's bodyguard and when she had thrown herself into the sea he had gathered all he could and made a retreat. Any who had survived that massacre had Laiqualassё to thank.

"Come; let us not think on such shadows of the past. I will never leave Middle-Earth with out you." He held my hand between his two and kissed my hair. They entered the private garden where the King enjoyed taking his meals when it was just him and a few of his friends.

The promise he had made of never leaving Middle-Earth with out me struck me hard in the stomach. I knew he would have to leave or one of us might be killed. The future was uncertain and I knew it was unsettled, the war that had ended the first age would not be the last war fought on the soils of middle earth. I knew he could keep that promise and it hurt me more to think about it then to think of the tragedies of the past.

Meeting with Elrond and Gil-galad

The companies leaves taking


	26. Chapter 26

**Eruanna's Ride**

One spring morning I was walking through the south garden of the palace singing softly to my self. The air was fresh and spring could be smelt in the breeze. Laiqualassё had been gone for two month and I was fretting. I missed him so much and was eagerly awaiting his return. Behind me I heard someone clear their throat. I turned and smiled at Gil-Galad curtsying neatly I greeted him. "What brings you to the gardens, My Lord? Is court not in session?" I asked.

"I came to find you, my lady Eruanna. Melethwiel said you could be found here. The court was in session however I received and message which I believed to be of great importance and had to deal with immediately," Gil-Galad said. "Come; walk with me a ways, my Lady." He offered me his arm. I took it and we walked along the path to were a bench had been placed among a bed of snow drops and tulips. He ushered me to sit but did not do so himself.

"My lady, the message I received was most grievous. The emissaries sent to Erin Lasgalen did not as a whole reach their destination. They were attacked by a band of orcs and wolves as they entered the mountain pass. According to the message there they were lucky and managed to escape with few loses. However, in a need to tend the wounded they retreated in a valley at the feet of the Misty Mountains on the western side, which they name Imladris. At first they believe they would soon continue to Erin Lasgalen however many of the injured had been cut by poisoned blades. So the company split, some remaining with the injured in this Imladris to tend them and the rest continuing on to Erin Lasgalen and the halls of Thranduil." The high king stopped to catch his breath. It allowed what he had said to sink in.

"What of Elrond, and… and Laiqualassё?" I asked dreading the answer that I may receive.

"Elrond is fine; your foster son remained with the injured in Imladris to help tend them," Gil-Galad pause. "Eruanna, Laiqualassё was among those wounded. In the report it was said to truly be a superficial cut but the poison is strong." He put a hand on my shoulder as my eyes fell. Tears accumulated in them before they dripped down my cheek.

"My Lord King, I ride then for Imladris," I spoke in a determined voice. My arm was well again and I could ride fast.

"I did not doubt that your decision upon hearing this news would be any different Eruanna. I am sending and escort for supplies and healers to Imladris. You shall travel with them. They depart at noon." I was relieved that Gil-Galad was not going to argue with me on this.

I left the gardens as soon as Gil-Galad took his leave. I returned to my rooms and immediately began dressing my travelling clothes. I had not worn leggings and a tunic in months and was enjoying being free of the gowns commonly worn by women at court. I pulled on my soft leather riding boots and belted my sword and long knife around my waist. It was the same knife as I had been given almost two centuries before on our march south from Gondolin. Then I tucked my little ivory sheathed knives into the tops of my boots. I went to the closet and grabbed a cloak. It wasn't until I had draped the sliver-grey material around my shoulders that I realized that it wasn't my cloak by Laiqualassё's. I could smell the unique mix of spices and earth that was so distinctly Laiqualassё. "Hold on, you stubborn elf. Don't you dare fade on me," I thought. I wrapped myself in his cloak letting the smell of him envelop me before going back to packing.

I took a pair of saddle bags from their peg in the wardrobe and I put some extra leggings and tunics into them as well as my hairbrush and a jar of muscle rub. I had long ago learnt that if one had to travel long and hard a container of muscle rub made the experience much more pleasant. I went over what supplies I needed from my room in my mind then I remembered the little treasure that was tucked away in a chest at the foot of my bed.

I opened the lid of the ornate chest and pulled out a beautiful bottle made of a glistening golden crystal containing a clear substance. I could remember what Calirion the Vanya had said to me. "Keep it safe young one for there will come a day when you wish someone to live and you have no means to make it happen. This will keep any being alive for half a year even if they are on the door step of death. Use it well. I did not know if this were the occasion where I would have need of it, but if it was I would rather have it with me then have it lying at the bottom of a chest hundreds of leagues away.

In** the Shadows of the Misty Mountains**

"Travellers approach," called a scout from a tree. "It is the Lady Eruanna and the healers from Lindon." I heard the call as we descended into a valley that was walled by sharp cliffs. Laid out before me I saw for the first time Rivendel and came to a full understanding of why it was so named. The vale of Imladris was a valley cleaved into the feet of the Misty Mountains. It was a beautiful place. At that time it was wild and uninhabited.

I was greeted by my foster son as we crossed the Bruinen. He drew me into a quick embrace and I saw the grief in his eyes. He told he would take me to Laiqualasse and I nodded following him without a word.

As I came to my husband's side where he lay on a pallet beneath a shelter the elves had erected to keep the wounded out of the elements. He seemed to be sleeping but his eyes were closed as I had so rarely seen them. He was fevered and Elrond had said that he often awoke delirious and incoherent. He would call for me or for his sister. I knew brushing his hair from his face murmuring words of love and comfort to him hoping he would hear them. I took my hand away but he caught my hand and held it with out opening his eyes. His grip had shocking strength for one who was so ill.

"Elrond, could I have some cool water and a cloth?" I asked making my self comfortable on the ground next to my beloved's pallet.

It was a long week during which I spent hour at Laiqualasse's side nursing him. At the end of the week those who were poisoned were either on their way to recovery or in the halls of Mandos, all that is except Laiqualasse.

"My Lady," some one said behind me. I looked up from where I had been feeding a semi-conscious elf broth.

"Yes, my Lord Rhovion," I said to Lindon's chief healer.

"I'm afraid he is fading my Lady," he said gently. "If we could get him on a ship he might have a chance of reaching the blessed realm he may have a chance but as it is his fea will not cling to his body much longer.

"Lord Rhovion, what if I told you I could aid him long enough to get him on a ship to Valinor?" I asked.

"I would tell you that you would have to perform a miracle," he replied looking at me with compassion.

From my saddle bag I took the crystal vile. "This was given to me by one of the Vanyar after the fall of Thangodrim. He told me that it would keep someone alive no matter how ill they were. I will give it to Laiqualasse and then I will take him to Lindon, to the ships." I felt sick at the idea of sending Laiqualasse over the seas where I could not follow, however I knew that the other option was death.

Lord Rhovion looked at me as though he had never seen me before. "You would part yourself from him forever. You know that after he boards that vessel you will never see him again. Will you truly give that?"

"Yes," I replied knowing that there was no other answer for me. I looked the healer in the eyes. "Saving his life is more important to me then anything. If I do not do this he will die. Either way I am destined to pain at least in heart break I can know that I save him some pain. I only ask you to help me keep him alive long enough to reach the blessed realm."

"I will give you my assistance in this, heril-nin," he said.

"Thank you," I whispered. I sat on Laiqualasse's pallet and pulled his head into my lap. Gently I brought the vile to his lips. "Swallow, dear one. It will make you feel better." Slowly I trickled the precious golden serum into his month. I watched him swallow the serum then I kissed his forehead.

"I must speak with Lord Elrond and the other healers." Lord Rhovion bowed and left.

"Eruanna," Laiqualasse murmured. His eyes were open and focused as I had not seen them since he had left Lindon.

"I'm here, my love,' I whispered smoothing his hair from his face. "You will live Laiqualasse. I will take you to the harbour so that you can go to Aman and heal." I leaned down and kissed his brow gently.

"I don't wish to sail," he said. "I wish no grey ship if it can no bear you as well," he said stubbornly.

"Hush, you need to rest," I hummed a lullaby and he drifted off into the restful paths of deep elvish dreams. Once he was fully asleep I slipped off the bed to go find Elrond. As I left the shelter I heard Lord Rhovion speaking to one of the healers under his governance.

"Those who truly know her have a great deal of respect for her but I did not see why until today, Railin. I thought perhaps it was due to her close friendship with Lord Earendil or because she was wed to the Lord Laiqualasse who was a captain of Gondolin and whose sister is princess of Erin Lasgalen. The respect they have for the Lady is born from her great heart. She is so full of love and compassion. Lord Elrond has told me that she fostered himself and King Elros as well as Lailitha of Ossiriand. She is steadfastly loyal to those around her."

"Yet she is only a mortal," said the young healer.

"Yet there were moments today where I forgot that she was not one of the Eldar. It is very hard to associate the transience of mortality with a woman who had seen the fall of Gondolin. However, it is startlingly obvious that the Lady is constantly aware of what divides her from those she has lived with for near on two and a half centuries. I tell you Railin she deserves the highest honours." The Lord healer's words flattered me; however I did not wish to speak to anyone except Elrond at that time.


	27. Chapter 27

**Laiqualassё's Departure**

I found my foster son on a ledge next to a waterfall. From this ledge the entire valley could be seen stretched out before him. He turned to face me as I came up to the ledge. His face shone with an inspired hope.

"Nana, come stand here for a while," he said pulling me next to him. "Look at this valley. Here I will build my home. I wish to build a place of learning and healing. It could be a place of council, where members of the free races could gather without fear so that we can face the trials of the future. You know that there is trouble in the future just as I do Nana. You know better then anyone don't you?"

"Elrond, you know how little comfort I have in speaking of the future. I encouraged this dream it is inspired," I said. "I did not come here however to speak of the future of Imladris however; but to what the future holds in store for my husband. Do you remember the small vial I was given after the fall of Thangodrim? I have given it to Laiqualasse. Come dawn tomorrow I will ride hard and swift with him to Mithlond and put him on board a ship to the Blessed Realm. It is the only hope I have for his survival."

My foster son looked at me with sadness in his deep grey eyes. There was a sadness that expressed understanding, and the knowledge that he could not dissuade me in my course. "I believed that you would do this Nana but does Laiqualasse wish to sail?" he asked.

"He does not because he does not wish to be parted from me. However, I refuse to be my husband's death!"

Returning to Mithlond from the valley of Imladris

Eruanna is told that all the poisoned who were yet alive would be taking the ship to save their lives

Days leading up to the sailing

The boarding of the ship

The ship slipped its lines and moved away from the key. I stood on the dock watching it sail through the harbour mouth and out into the western sky. The setting sun shone bright red on the horizon; it seemed to be stained with the blood of my torn heart. After all these years and so many hardships I felt as though I should no longer have tears to cry, yet as my knees hit the wooden dock tears poured down my cheeks. I felt someone kneel next to me and strong arms around my shoulders. I looked up into the face of my foster son. Elrond held me as I watched the ship carrying my husband sail into the sun set. I watched until distance and dim light made the vessel impossible to see.

Elrond helped to my feet and with his help I made it back to Cirdan's house and my room. He stayed with me sitting in chair next to my bed until I was asleep, quietly he crooned to me the lullaby that I had sung to him and his brother when they were children and worried. I knew there was no way he knew what the words meant for they were in English and I had never translated the song into any language he would know for him. He sang it anyways.

Sleep my child and peace attend thee,

All through the night,

Guardian angles God will send thee,

All through the night

Ore the weary hours creeping,

Hills and vales slumber steeping

I my loving vigil keeping

All through the night

While the morn her watch is keeping

All through the night

While the weary world is sleeping

All through the night

I feel asleep to the soft melody of the welsh lullaby that my own mother had sung over me when I had been was a child.

When I awoke the pain that had held my heart in its iron grip the night before had not lessened its hold one iota. It took a great effort to slip from my bed and make my way to my wardrobe. I looked into the wardrobe and quickly shut it making my way back to my bed. Each article of clothing in there reminded me of Laiqualasse. On one side was one of his clocks and a tunic that had been ripped. These were the only articles I had not packed for him. On the other side were my own things. Each I could connect to some happy memory we had shared together.

I closed my eyes wishing for the oblivion of sleep to role over me. Where I could perchance dream of him, and where I could believe for a time that he was there with me again.

Eruanna's grief, remains at Mithlond

**Numenor**

Fifty or so years of material in Numenor middle of Elros' reign.

Eruanna uncomfortable around humans because of her long life span.

**Elros Passes**

Death of Tar-Minyator

Eruanna and Elrond grieve

Visits for Aldarion and his ships

**The founding of Eregion the Realm of Celeborn and Galadriel**

**Founding of Imladris**


	28. Chapter 28

**Visit to Greenwood**

Although I felt more at home in Imladris and Mithlond where the remnants of the Noldor dwelt, Erin Lasgalen in those days before the construction of Dul Guldur was a pleasant place. I slipped from Findheavear's back in the stable yard before the entrance to the court yard of King Oropher's palace with a sigh. I patted the mare's brown neck before removing the saddle bags and allowing the ellon who had come to lead her away.

I turned to see Lailitha walking towards me her face lit up with a bright smile. "Eruanna," she exclaimed before hugging me close. I returned her hug with equal fervour. "Come, Mirwen is waiting for you."

"Eruanna," called an elated Mirwen as we entered the court yard. Within moments I was engulfed in the arms of my sister by marriage. I returned her hug and greeting with equal enthusiasm if not as much energy. Thranduil stood behind his wife and princess waiting for her excitement to subside.

"Your Highness," I said curtsying to him. My curtsy was much more graceful then it had been when I had first been introduced to Gil-Galad.

"Come now Eruanna," said the prince with a laugh. "You are kin here; there is no need for you to bow to me."

Thranduil was a kind person although he had a tendency to be pompous and arrogant at times with those who did not know him. He was just in his dealing with the people of his father's realm. His only true prejudice was dwarves. He could remember the attack the dwarves made upon Doriath and their slaying of his king, Elu Thingol. It was a transgression that he would never fully forgive, that no Sinda could ever truly let go.

"Let us go inside," said Mirwen. "Your clothes are dirty and your hair is tangled. Some things will never change, will they Mellon-nin."

We took our leave of Thranduil and made our way to my chambers where a delightful bath of streaming water, aromatic oils and Epson salts had already been drawn. We spoke as I bathed. Mirwen told me of the growth of Eryn Lasgalen.

Court of Thranduil

Meeting of Lailitha and Berendirith

Eruanna and Mirwen speak of Laiqualassё

**Imladris**

Eruanna lives a time in Rivendel

Eruanna falls into a depression

Elrond comforts foster mother suggest a visit to Galadriel

**Power of Air**

Rebellion against Celeborn and Galadriel

Comfort found in the Golden Wood

Days of the forging of the rings

Fall of Eregion and war is kindle

Celebrimbor arrives in Laurelindorinen

Eruanna find confort in the council of Galadriel

**A Son's Visit**

Elrond visits the Golden Wood

Elrond meets Celebrian

Eruanna returns to Mithlond


	29. Chapter 29

**Elendil**

I was sitting in the window seat of my sitting room at Lindon on a gloomy day. For the past week it had been unseasonably rainy but this day the rain had stopped although low cloud and thick fog still bound the land. I could barely make out the elves in the harbour below. The fog was depressing and I had been sitting in my room alone thinking about the past and those who were now gone.

Noise from the harbour filtered up to my room. I watched the ghostly outlines of the elves in the fog below as they worked on the wharves. The fog was beginning to clear as a strong wind blew over the land from the sea. Through the mists the shape of three great ship appeared. They were unlike the graceful ships of the elves yet it was not inferior in build.

Over come with a deep rooted curiosity I leapt to my feet eager to learn from where the ship had come. Perhaps some inner part of my being hoped perhaps that Laiqualasse had come back from Aman, although any logical piece of my mind knew that this was impossible. After donning a thick cloak against the damp cold and a pair of soft leather boots I hurried through the corridors and down the stairwells to the harbour door. There were two main doors in the residence at Lindon, one called the Sea Door, and the other the Tower Door. I reached the wharves as the first ship slipped into her moorings.

As I moved away from the Sea Door it burst open again as King Gil-Galad with a number of his councillors hurried through onto the wharves. I moved aside so that they could pass. The gangway of the ship had been lowered and a tall dark haired man with sorrow filled grey eyes descended on to the wharves.

I'm not certain as to how I knew but I was certain that this man was of Elros's line. He did not resemble my mortal foster child so much as he had the same bearing. Elros had grown quickly into a King even before he had arrived in the realm of Numenor. In his presence you knew he was royalty with out being told it was so. This was true for Elendil as well. No one descended from the ship after Elendil, although there were many standing on the deck. Their eyes did not leave their lord as he walked towards us. Elendil walked resolutely without pause to Gil-galad and bowed deeply before him.

"What news do you bring from Numenor, Dunadan?" asked Gil-galad speaking in Valinorean Quenya, the language spoken by the elves how visited the Numenorean's from Aman.

"The island is no more, in pride she hath fallen in ruin into the sea," Elendil replied. His voice was etched with grief and pain as acid etches metal. His words triggered a tidal wave of memories the thing I had forgotten returning millennia later.

**Last Alliance**

Eruanna in Imladris with Galadriel and Mirwen whose husband sent them there for safety

Major angst among female characters

Battle ends three women travel to Gondor

Reunion between Eruanna and Elrond

Eruanna unhappy sad at lost of Elendil and of Gil-Galad

Elendil's funeral upon Amon Anwar

I dropped a white blossom on the stone that the two guards had shifted into place. Looking at the block of stone a memory came to me.

"Meneldil," I said turning to the young king of Gondor. "Let a beacon be placed on this hill so that your allies to the west can see it and come to your aid in times of need. I do not know why but something tells me it will be important in the future," I said. The young man had heard small parts of my tale but none understood it entirely.

"I shall do as you ask, my Lady. Even with out any premonition of the future I believe this to be of sound reasoning, and would be a good tactic." He looked over at his uncle who had overheard my suggestion.

Return to Imladris

Eruanna plays Aunt to Valandil

Returns to Mithlond and the sea


	30. Chapter 30

**A Wedding**

Wedding between Elrond and Celebrian,

reunion between Eruanna and Lailitha in Lothlorien.

Mother daughter chat between Eruanna and Lailitha about marriage

Lailitha tells her foster mother that she has yet to meet one to whom her soul calls.

Add in some sweet Nimrodel and Amaroth scenes

**Arwen Undomiel**

Birth of Arwen, a bit of her early years,

lots of mischievous twin stuff.

Eruanna remembers Arwen's fate, lots o internal stuff here.

**Division of Arnor**

Eruanna spends some time in the court of Fornost where dwells the descendants of Eruanna's second foster son.

Eruanna speaks against the division, give the king a prophesy saying that no good will come of it.


	31. Chapter 31

**Year 1005 of the Third Age**

Eruanna sighed as she closed the book. She had been writing all night unable to stop the flow of words as she put her story onto paper. She had watched year 1005 of the third age dawn as so many had before it for Eruanna. There was nothing about this particular New Year morn to indicate that anything extraordinary would happen. There wasn't even anything unusual in the knock that was heard at the door to the sitting room of Eruanna's apartment in Mithlond. She stood from the desk and went to answer the door.

At her door she found two men, both had grey beards, but one had the form of an elderly human and the other was tall noble and fair, one of the eldar. "My Lord Cirdan," she said speaking in Sindarin as she did the majority of the time now. "Could I offer you a seat and a cup of tea?" she asked.

Cirdan was kind to her never asking more about her past then she was comfortable telling. Her friendship with Earendil and her marriage to Laiqualassё, as well as her own acts of valour since then guaranteed her the hospitality in the household of any of the elven kindred of Middle-Earth as well as in the Royal court of the North Kingdom, and Gondor. Indeed Elrond had been trying to entice her into staying in Imladris with him once again and Mirwen as well as Galadriel had been begging her to come for a visit. Yet she wished to be close to the sea, for it had taken her heart from her.

"You may Lady Eruanna," the two men entered the brightly lit sitting room. "This is Olorin, he is a messenger, but that is between us." They sat on the settee and Eruanna went to pore three cups of tea from the kettle she had made not long before. Eruanna brought the cups over handing them each one before taking her seat.

For a time they discussed things of a general nature, including but no restricted to the state of the world the comings and goings of the different races, and the activities of the men of the North, which featured largely in discussion. Finally, Cirdan stood addressing Eruanna alone he said; "Among other things Olorin had brought a message for you. He said that it is of a private nature and thus I will take me leave. Good day to you Eruanna." With that Cirdan let himself out of her apartment.

"Yes, that I have, a message of a truly personal nature. There has been a council held of the highest order. Many feel that the lot appointed to you is an unduly harsh one seeing what you have done to help this world against the evil that inhabits it. It seems unfair that you have to remain on these shores facing the same agony the Eldar feel in mortal lands and are yet unable to escape it because you will one day be mortal again. You know that at the end of this age the first born will leaves these shores forever, handing Middle Earth into the care of Men. As things stand you would also remain here. Yet, Manwё as asked the council of the One and Eru has decreed that you alone among all will be given the right to sail and then return to these shores when it come time for you to take your place in your own time. You will be able to do so and remain mortal."

Eruanna lifted her face and stared at the grandfatherly man in front of her, he looked no different then many elderly men she had met in her life time but Eruanna knew that he was a vessel of great power. "Truly?" she whispered with fear that if she spoke any louder the salvation he had just uttered would vanish as mist over a lake on a spring morning.

"Yes, there is one who dwells ever in Avallonё on the shores of the Isle of Tol Eressea. Ever does he gaze longingly into the east. His soul is searching and yearning towards something on these far shores. I spoke with him ere I left. He awaits your arrival my Lady. Cirdan had informed me that he will has ship is due to leave in 4 months time. If it is your will, you may sail with that ship." Olorin stood and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Remember you will be parted again. None can see what happens once you return to the moment that you left all those years ago."

"Many years lay between this time and that yet. I shall cherish every moment of that time for I will endure it with him at my side. I will sail," Eruanna looked up at the noble istar. "It will break my heart and his that I will have to depart this I know. However, at least we will remember a time of peace that we shared together."

Olorin nodded his head. "One came with me on my journey, I asked him to meet us here. I believe it will comfort you to see him again." As the Istar finished speaking there came a knock at the sitting room door for a second time that day. "Come in," called Olorin.

The door opened and a tall figure wreathed in golden light, that Eruanna had only ever seen glow around Galadriel and Laiqualassё before. Then, she saw the beings face and she could not speak. It did not matter that four thousand years had passed, his face, noble and brave, had never left her mind.

She stood and for a time neither spoke. The Elda observed her curiously but he didn't really understand who she was. Eruanna however was trying to put the thoughts that were jumbled in her head into some sort to f coherent sentence. She looked up into his vibrant blue eyes. "Thank you," she automatically spoke in Quenya and she meant those two words more then any she had ever spoken in her life, with the exception of the first time she had ever told Laiqualasse that she loved him.

His eyes searched hers, she felt as though he could read her very soul. Finally, recognition and shock registered in the intense blue eyes of Glorfindel of the house of the Golden Flower once of Gondolin. As with many things Eruanna had forgotten that Glorfindel returned to Middle-Earth in the third age.

"How is it possible?" He asked softly reaching out to touch Eruanna's cheek as though he had to assure himself that she was flesh and blood and not a ghost.

Olorin cleared his voice to get their attention. "I will take my leave, my lady. You have much to speak of." He left the room closing the door softly behind him.

Tears were running down Eruanna's face. "Why do you cry, child?" he asked. His voice was as soft as velvet. To Eruanna it brought back distant memories of he father's voice, it was a tone that comforts and protects you.

"You do not know what it means to be to see you standing before me," her tears flowed like rivers. He placed his hand gently on her shacking shoulder. Then impulsively Eruanna through her arms around her dead saviour's neck.

Startled Glorfindel was not sure what to do, as this four thousand year old seemingly human woman clung to him weeping. Thinking of nothing else he could do he wrapped his arms around her speaking softly in Quenya southing her. Eruanna pulled away from him as she calmed. "I'm sorry, "she said looking at her feet.

"It does not matter. What is your name, Lady, Olorin would not tell me whom I was to meet. I had not idea it was to be you." He wiped the last of her tears form her cheek. "Do not be embraced. I understand."

"I am called Eruanna-Mernaseldё of the House of the Tree," she said in almost a whisper adding the house she had joined when she and Laiqualassё had been bound something she had not done it many years. Glorfindel had heard tales and songs of the valour of the maiden Eruanna-Mernaseldё but seeing that the tales had stretched over millennia had made him believe her to be an Elda.

"I am outside of time as I have yet to be born, I do not age. I am mortal but I will live out the rest of my normal life span from the moment I left my on time onwards. All that occurs during this stasis will seem to occur in the space between two moments." The explanation was brief but she could not explain it any better, it still confused her. "I never thought I would see you again. You gave me a chance at life when you got me out of Gondolin that day. For that I give you my heart felt thanks. I have lived for four thousand years owing you a life dept."

"I accept you thanks, Lady Eruanna, but I believe I can call the life debt that you feel you me a clear. In sending Laiqualassё across the sea you save his life. A life that he would have given up to have remained her near you for all it would have killed him. He is a cousin of mine and we have been very close friends ever since we were elfling in Tirion growing in the light of the Two Trees. You fulfilled any debt you may feel you have incurred when I save your life when you sent him across the sea." Glorfindel lifted her chin. "He loves you deeply. Ever he wanders along the sea's brim on the eastern shores of Tol Eressёa saying ever that he had left his heart on hither shores. I have asked him why you had not come to the Blessed Realm, he told me you were ever tied to this land. His Eruanna, the gift Eru had given him, he called you. He never mentioned you were human and I would never have guessed, he spoke little of what you shared just your name murmuring it often under his breath."

"I will be going to Tol Eressёa myself. The Valar have granted me passage. I will sail in four month," said Eruanna quietly.

Eruanna still couldn't believe she would be going that she would soon see Laiqualassё again. She remembered how he had looked the day that Cirdan and Linnear had carried the litter baring her fёa mate onto the grey ship. She remembered his pale face and glazed eyes, murmuring in his feverish dreams. Even in his delusions he had held her hand with a strong grip. They had had to pry his figures from hers so that the ship could leave. He had never wished to be parted from her. They had laid the litter down and she had knelt next to him smoothing his dark hair from his forehead. Leaning down she had kissed his smooth brow. "Namarie, Melethril, know that I will love you forever and a day. I know you will be upset when you wake. Upset that I sent you away from me but I could do no less. To have kept you with me would mean watching you die, I can not do that when I could do something to save you."

Eruanna came back to the present from her memories. She looked up at the noble Ellon before her; Glorfindel wore a smile that lit up his face.


	32. Chapter 32

**Finding Adar**

Glorfindel and Eruanna get to know each other and Eruanna finds in Glorfindel the father figure she had lost so many years before.

**Eruanna's Departure**

Many stood on the docks where the great grey vessel lay anchored. Unlike most departures not all the people milling around the dock were elves. The news that the Lady of the house of the Tree would be departing for Tol Ereassea had travelled and many had come to see the heroin off. King Amlath of Arnor himself had come from Fornost to see the lady off as she had in the past rendered service to the Kings of the North which had been invaluable. The night before there had been a feast in Eruanna's honour held by Cirdan. Many more had been there wishing to wish her well and say their farewells. It had been a long experience but now only those who meant the most to Eruanna remained for her to say her farewells to.

Elrond and Celebrian as well as their three children had come from Imladris. For Elrond was grieved to see the woman he had counted amongst his closest family for so long depart. A bond formed when Eruanna had hidden with the two elflings when Sirion was attacked. She had been in many ways a second mother to Elros and Elrond for they had been very young and had never seen their own mother again. Glorfindel was there also, and Cirdan.

A call came and all those due to depart began to say their final good byes. Eruanna turned tearfully to Elrond. "You have been as close to me as my own son, and I fear it will be many years before I see you again. I will say this however, I will see you again my star child. You have wisdom, use it for the good of all Middle-Earth and remember that all the free races have something to contribute no mater how small and insignificant they seem. There is a choice you will have to make one day, Elrond. I will not say when or about whom it is but it will be hard. You will have to choose between leaving one you love forever and having that person's heart break. For all it will hurt you will make the correct choice and Middle-Earth will receive a gift beyond all the jewels of Khazad-dum." Elrond wrapped the woman in his arms and hugged her.

"Namarie, Nanneth. You will find happiness in Ereassea, he will be there to take you in his arms again as he did the day you were reunited after the fall of Thangodrim." Elrond looked at her and saw the years of pain she had endured. "If I have wisdom it is due a great deal to your kindness Eruanna, though you suffered you loved us and cherished us greatly. Go with the blessing of the elves Eruanna, dearest of woman."

Next Eruanna faced the daughter of her good friend Galadriel. "Dear Celebrian, you have grown into such stature. Never forget that you are not your mother. You glow with a different strength then she does and do not feel you are less because you do not always excel where she does, nor do you have to. Again something will come to pass and you will be forced to do something you would rather not do. Know that Elrond and your parents love you and that you will be reunited with them in the end if you are ever separated." Eruanna was trying to give each of her friends and adopted family hope without giving away what may come to pass.

"Thank you, for all your kindness Eruanna. My mother sends you her good wishes and wishes me to tell you that she will miss you. She does not believe she will see you again. Safe journey Eruanna." Celebrian hugged her mother's old friend. "With the messenger she sent she sent this to be given to you." Celebrian handed Eruanna a scroll. "She wishes it to be placed in the hands of her father by you personally." Eruanna bowed her head and tucked the scroll into the small bundles of belongings she would be taking with her.

Next she moved to Elrond's three children. "My little ones," she whispered touching cheeks and whipping away Arwen's tears. "Always trust your hearts my little ones they will not lead you astray." Arwen let out a sob and through her arms around Eruanna's neck.

"I will miss you Daernanneth," she said. "I feel as though I will never see you again."

Eruanna felt a sharp pain clench her stomach. Although she had forgotten much that she had learnt in the future, the fate of her little Evenstar was not one of those things. "Remember this, if you remember nothing else, dear child. No matter what happens I will always be proud of you. You will bring a great light to Middle-Earth Arwen and you will be happy."

Elrond was the only one who noticed that Eruanna did not tell his daughter that she would meet her again. It was a memory that he would remember after many years past and would know that she had known his daughter's fate even then. Taking his daughter from Eruanna and holding her close as tears continued to stream down her perfect cheeks.

The twins nearly squashed Eruanna with their enthusiastic hugged. "Easy munchkins, don't kill your Daernanneth, there is someone waiting who will be very upset if I am not with this ship. Don't get into too much trouble now, promise?"

Both twins nodded their heads. "We will Daernanneth," said Elladan. "You'll see we will be good," said Elrohir in following. "We have a message from Queen Mirwen of Mirkwood, she bids you safe journey and wishes she could have been here, and she said she explains why she can not in the letter." Elrohir handed her a scroll which she tucked in her bag next to the one for King Finarfin.

"You have to take care of your sister for me. She will need you two, if for nothing else to make her laugh." Again the twins nodded and released Eruanna and went to join their parents and sister. The family went off to farewell some of the elves from Imladris who could no longer resist the pull of the sea.

Cirdan approached Eruanna. "I pray you find happiness my Lady, one should not have to endure so much sorrow as you have," Eruanna smiled at Cirdan.

"You have ever been kind to me Lord Cirdan, there is a gift I wish to make to you whether you will accept it or not." Eruanna reached into her bundle and pulled out the leather bound book in which she had recorded her story. "This is my story; I know you have wanted to know it for a long time. I ask only that when you sail this book come as well and that no copy be made of it. For the truth of my origins can not be known in the future. Namarie, my lord it will be long ere I see you again." Eruanna kissed Cirdan's cheek and he moved off.

She stood looking around the dock when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning she looked up into the blue eyes of Glorfindel. "I haven't known you long Eruanna, but you have become in many ways like a daughter to me. I know not what lies ahead of me and I ask you not to tell me. However, can you give me hope that I will see you again?"

A lump formed in Eruanna's throat for she too felt as though Glorfindel had come to be something of a father to her. "I can give you that hope; it will be long but hope there is and will be. There will come a time when hope is born in flesh and then Adar the time of our reunion will be nigh." Tears began to pour down Eruanna's cheeks. "Love you Adar," she said throwing herself into Glorfindel's arms much as she had done four months before, this time however he didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tight.

"Sell nin," he murmured to her smoothing her hair down. "I have a gift for you." He picked up the package he had laid down. "Wear this on your arrival in Tol Ereassea, daughter of my heart. Wear it after ever in memory of me." He released her and handed her the bundle. "Go, there is one who awaits you and loves you with a love that is beyond all."

All her good byes finished Eruanna picked up her things and walked up the gangway onto the grey ship. She had been the last to board, except for one. Just as the gangway was about to be lifted a blond elleth ran down the quay from where she had just dismounted from her horse. "Wait," she called, "I will be going too." As she boarded the ship Eruanna saw her eldest foster child. With a cry she took the elleth in her arms and hugged her tight. "Did you think I would let you leave this Middle-Earth without me Nan-Anna?" she asked.

The gangway was raised and the ropes where undone, with the grace only an elven ship could possess they moved away from the quay. Eruanna and Lailitha stood in the stern watching with tears running down their faces until the haven was only a speck on the horizon.


	33. Chapter 33

**Tol Ereassёa**

How does one describe sailing beyond the end of the world? It does not seem as though gravity releases it hold but when a day comes where the sun rises and sets in the eastern sky behind your ship that sails ever westward you know that you are indeed somewhere truly magical. Somewhere that is west of the sun. Eruanna could never explain it though few ever had asked her too. She couldn't precisely recall how long the journey took, as was the case with any who traveled the straight road after the world changed.

Eruanna remembered the day well when the sun rose and set in the east, she knew then she was reaching the end of her voyaged. She had had the worse feeling through out the trip that it was all too good to be true, and that one day they would wake to find they had run aground in what would one day be Nova Scotia or some other place in the America. Instead one morning she awoke from her bunk and felt at peace.

It was that day that the sun had risen and set in the eastern sky and that night the stars were more brilliant then ever before. She looked up at the sky in awe. She found the star she had as a child learnt to be Venus, but knew now as Earendil. She looked at that vibrant light wondering if he could see her and whether he knew she was coming. She hoped to see Earendil again, her friend and ally of old but the one person above all other's she wished to see was the one she knew would be waiting for her. Laiqualassё.

The ocean was like silver glass smooth and peaceful with only the smallest rippling waves trailing the grey ship as it glided forward. Eruanna spent many hours standing at the prow of the ship as they traveled ever westward. One morning a distant shore could be seen. Through that entire day it drew ever closer. The beaches white as sparkling diamonds glistening in the sun could be seen by mid day. As dusk was falling over the beautiful isle the ship slipped in the quay of the city of Avallone.

When Eruanna had seen the harbour she had gone below the deck to change into the dress that her father had given her. She had remembered taking it from its wrappings and hanging it in her closest. It was a white dress; the sleeves were tight to my elbows then flared out. At the elbow there were strips of gold fabric. The bodice was snug and the skirts flowed. Little gold flowers and vines wound around the hem of the skirts the neck line and the cuffs of the sleeves. The dress had a light cloak to go with it; the cloak was white and worked with a spreading golden tree. Eruanna gasped at seeing it for the first time and mentally thanked her Ada with tears in her eyes.

As she descended from the ship dressed in the white silk gown she looked almost as one of the elves. The gown clung however to curves that the ellith did not processes, it showed her human beauty, exotic among all of these willowy elves. Most of the Teleri had never seen a daughter of men before and were intrigued by this newest arrival.

One ellon watched her descend the gang way to the quay with a love shinning so brightly in his grey eyes that the few around him in the crowd looked at him in wonder even in Aman such love was a rare and precious thing. Slowly, he weaved his way through the crowd working his way towards the front of the crowd to reach the area where family greeted those who had come. His eyes never left her form. He watched her scan the crowd, he knew that she was looking for him, hoping to see him. He kept walking forward, however, when she reached the end of the gangway the front of the dock was blocked from view and he could not see her.

Eruanna scanned the crowd looking for Laiqualassё most of all but in general anyone that she recognized. She felt so alone, more alone then she had when she had first come through from her own time. She came down into the area where the elves she had traveled with were meeting those who had come before them. The few who did not have close family on Tol Eressёa seemed to know where to go. Eruanna stood with the same nervous feeling she had felt on her first day of High School, where should she go what should she do? For a time she just stood there like a deer in the head lights

"Eruanna, Eruanna-Mernaseldё," she head a female voice call from the crowd. She turned and looked trying to find the person who spoke. It was a desperate search; she wanted nothing more then to see someone she knew, even if it wasn't the one she had been hoping for. Suddenly a blond elleth grasped her by the shoulders and Eruanna looked in the fair face and remembered.

"Curoneth," she said excitedly. The last Eruanna had seen her; she had just taken an arrow in the chest.

"You are here! You are alive!" she exclaimed Curoneth with out taking a breath. Then the she saw the blond elleth who was right behind Eruanna. "Lailitha, my child," she said in a hoarse whisper. "Is it really you?" she asked.

"Nanneth," cried Lailitha. Eruanna looked on with tears of joy as the mother and daughter who had been torn apart in the most horrible fashion were again united in joy.

Curoneth turned to Eruanna, and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, my friend, for caring for my child."

"Curoneth you must help me find Laiqualassё," said Eruanna searching the crowd as it began to thin.


	34. Chapter 34

**To Renew a Love**

"Curoneth," said Laiqualasse as he walked towards where Curoneth and her daughter who sat by a sparkling fountain. The two elleth looked up. Laiqualasse could not remember seeing Curoneth so happy. "Where is Eruanna? I must find her," he said in a voice strained with pint up longing for the woman he had wed so long before.

Curoneth smile and looked past him. Laiqualasse turned slowly and his breath caught in his throat. Never had there been any being born or made in Ea more beautiful in his eyes then she was. Many times she had said that she did not possess the beauty of the Eldar, but he never said she did. She would never have the tall lean physique of his people however she seemed ever to glow with an inner fire and this created a beauty of its own.

She had changed so little in the past three millennia. She looked for the most part much as she did the first time he had laid eyes on her after the escape from Gondolin. Her hair was much longer then it had been then. Dark waves brushed her mid- thigh starkly contrasting with the beautiful white and gold gown she wore.

Neither could really remember how long they had stood nor who moved first. One moment they had been staring at each other across the court yard and the next they had been in each other's arms, drinking in the euphoric happiness they both felt.

After watching their friends and foster parents' heart touching reunion Curoneth and Lailitha took their leave. They knew that the couple had much to discuss and neither felt that it was their place to interfere. Lailitha was glad to see her mother again and she learnt that her father was in Tirion for a time with his own family. Lailitha knew that Eruanna would soon be going to Tirion herself to deliver Galadriel's message to her father.

Lailitha decided to convince her mother that they too should make the trip. Lailitha having lived much of her existence among the Noldor she had many friends who had sailed.

"Eruanna," Laiqualasse whispered as he held her. His heart stopped aching the moment he looked into her eyes and saw all the love he felt for her reflected there. Her eyes held a tiredness that had not been there when he had last seen her. He knew that her many years of existence were wearing her mortal spirit. He hoped that here in the blessed realm her weariness might fall away to leave the vibrant woman she had been in her earlier years.

Eruanna did not have words for the moment. She felt that any words would have been shallow. Looking into Laiqualasse's grey eyes she knew no words were needed at all. He knew exactly what she felt. Standing on her tip toes she threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his tunic laying her cheek against is chest. Laiqualasse wrapped his arms about her. She was his precious jewel. His alone and she was with him again.

It was a long time that they stood there together neither moving nor speaking. They simply affirmed to themselves that the other was alive and present.


	35. Chapter 35

**A Swan in a Tower**

A visit to Elwing

**To Tirion **

Journeying to main land and arrival in Tirion

**Before a High King**

Delivery of Galadriel's message to her father

**Lady of the Court**

Laiqualassё enjoys stay with those he had known

Finarfin makes the House of the Tree part of his court

**Gil-Galad**

Gil-Galad is released from Mandos, his reunion with his people, surprised to see Eruanna

**The Gift of Life**

Eruanna finds she is with child

Struggles with fact she will forever be separated from that child one day

**Power of the Stars**

Eruanna travels to Valinor to ask for an audience with Manwё

Learns that her child will be of the elder children

Learns that the child is a gift from Varda herself

**Aria**

The birth of the child of Laiqualasse and Eruanna

**Celebrian**

Arrival of Artanis's child in Tirion

**A Visit to Lorien**

Celebrian and Eruanna travel to visit Lorien

**Earendil**

Earendil comes to visit for a day.


	36. Chapter 36

**The Last Riding**

The court at Tirion was arrayed as Eruana had not seen it before. The news had reached them of a large company traveling down the Calacirya towards the city. To the joy of the people of Tirion many with in the company were known to those in the court. When King Finarfin had learnt of

Arrival of Galadriel, Elrond and company, Mirwen comes with company

**Of those Who Won't Return**

Thos in Aman learn of Arwen's choice

**Adoption**

Glorfindel officially adopts Eruanna as his daughter thus giving Aria some family on her mother's side in Aman

**Cirdan and the Last Ring Bearer**

The arrival of Sam Gamgee and Cirdan in the last ship to sail from Mithlond

**The Strange Pair**

The arrival of Mirwen's son and the dwarf Gimli as well as to everyone's surprise Thranduil himself

Mirwen and Thranduil reunited

**The Princess and the Lock Bearer**

Gimli meets Galadriel once again, laying his eyes on the one beauty he wished to see more then any other

**The Silver Lord and the Shadow Twins**

The arrival of Celeborn and the twin son's of Elrond in Tol Ereassea,

Celeborn and Galadriel's reunion


	37. Chapter 37

3

**The Parting**

Laiqualassё held her in his arms tears streamed down their cheeks as they held each other desperately on the hill over looking the sea. All others had drifted away leaving the couple alone in this moment. Aria had left in Ellion's arms her tears just as filled sorrow as her parents. She knew that she had to leave them in their last moment together, and that when she next saw her Ada he would need her more then ever. As they reached the bottom of the hill she saw Elrond and Aria ran to him throwing her arms around his neck. Elrond looked up the hill knowing he was losing his Nanneth again and this time there was not chance of ever seeing her again. He held her daughter close, the girl who was younger sister to him.

Eruanna had known that this day would come, it was a certainty that she had known for thousands of years, yet now only minutes before she would leave her one true love forever it seemed it was no easier to bear. How could she return, after all that she had seen all that she had lived? How could she return to being a twenty year old student, when she had been a high lady of elven courts? Fresh tears began to trail her cheeks as she tilted her head back and looked into the storm grey eyes of her one true love. Laiqualassё, her teacher and her guide, her lover and her beloved. She had never seen anything more beautiful then his eyes, and she knew she never would.

"What can be said at such a moment?" he whispered. His eyes searched hers and then his lips claimed hers. A kiss that was filled with utter despair and sadness, each of them put their souls into that one kiss holding to each other like they were the only real thing in the world.

"Meleth-nin, you must not fade when I leave. It is hard enough to know that I am leaving but to know that I have condemned you to death with my parting is more then I can bear. You must live, for me and for Aria. She may be married but she will need her Ada more then ever now." Eruanna looked up at him her eyes begging him to grant her his word, to ease at least a part of her pain.

Laiqualassё's eyes help all the sadness in the world. He wondered if he could grant her his word in this. Could he live if he did not have her by his side? Could he live if he did not wake to the sunrise on her face each morning? Did he want to live with out her? Then he remembered holding his daughter for the first time, Aria, the gift that Eru had given them. Their child delivered to them when they had never had even a dream of a hope that Eruanna would conceive. He could not abandon his child. He thought of Elrond and Lailitha her foster children who had lost so much, he thought of Mirwen, his sister, who would be loosing her best friend, he thought of all those who had cared for Eruanna and he knew that he could live. He would live for he could not cause those around him more pain then they undoubtedly already felt.

He stepped back and took her slender hands in his. "I will live little one. I give you my word, if you give me yours. Promise me that you will live your life to its fullest. Promise me that you will learn and go on to make your world a better place for all who dwell within it. Promise me that if you find someone who makes you happy and who loves you, you will marry again and have a family."

"I will never love again Melamin. I promise you all those things but know that I will never marry again, you and you alone hold my heart and so shall it ever be." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again sealing her promise to him and his to her.

He broke their kiss and knowing time was short he picked up her winter cloak that she had dropped on the ground. It would be much cooler where she was going then it was in Valinor. He draped the cloak over her shoulders tying it for her as he had so many times before. He ran his fingers through her auburn curls. They spoke no more words for it felt as though to say good bye would rip them open. They stood close her body felt as perfect against his as it had the first time he had held her like this. Their lips crashed together in a kiss unlike any they had ever shared before. It burnt so bright with pain, and longing, and passion that Eruanna was sure that all that would be left of her would be a pile of ashes. Her eyes closed and her fingers roamed his face, a face she wanted to remember every detail of.

It was as sudden as it had been millennia before when she had first entered Middle Earth. One moment her hands touched warm flesh and her lips were against those of the man she loved most, and the next she felt a cool spring breeze against them. Her eyes shot open and she saw before her a lake vista that had been only a distant memory moments before. She felt as though she had been slashed through the heart. Her first thought was to run off the cliff and end this pain. End all her suffering, to go into the embrace of Mandos. Yet she remembered her last words to Laiqualassё, the promise that she had made him, a promise to which she had vowed with her very soul. She fell to her knees on the rock. The warm elven made cloak fell around her shielding her from the cold. She did not cry for she was far beyond tears.

She did not know how long she knelt there, but when she looked up the sun was sinking in a dazzling array of gold and reds in the western sky. ~How long had it been she thought since she had seen the sun set in the west? ~ She thought bitterly. In the distance she could hear someone calling but she paid it no heed. She couldn't think of what to do. The voice was getting closer but she wasn't paying it any attention. She stood up knowing that she needed to go back to her apartment, it didn't feel like home, she knew no where would ever feel like home ever again for her. For home it is said is where your heart is and her heart dwelt in Aman, in the Blessed Realm ever green and fair.

"Anne-Marie," she heard someone calling. At first it did not even register as her name. She had not been Anne-Marie for almost twelve thousand years. When it finally clicked that someone was looking for her she nimbly climbed down from the cliff and came face to face with a light blond haired man with blue eyes.

"Where have you been?" He asked her sternly and then he did a double take as he saw her dress and cloak. He noted that her hair now reached her thighs where that morning it had fallen to her mid back. "What happened to you?" he asked. "Anne-Marie?"

Although she remembered English perfectly she found the language strange and awkward after speaking Quenya for so long. "You would not believe me if I told," she murmured to her room mate Aidan. "Please, let's just go…go back to the apartment." She looked down at her hands and a single tear trickled silently down her cheek.

Her eyes looked haunted to Aidan. He had known her since they had been children; they had been best friends for years yet now he looked at her and he saw someone utterly changed. She was not his best friend; she was not the girl he had seen only that morning. She was now as he imagined one who had lived a very long time would be, full of memory and pain. "Come, Annie, lets get you home and you can tell what I wouldn't believe," he said gently. He picked up her back pack and slung it over his shoulder and then he put an arm around her back leading her home as silent tears trickled over her grief ridden face.

Valinor—

One moment she had been there, kissing him and clinging to him, and the next he had been alone. He let out a cry of pure anguish, he felt someone put a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Glorfindel standing behind him. The older elf looked at his friend, and with out a word took the ellon in his arms, as he had when Laiqualassё had been an elfling long ago. "I waited after everyone else had left, leaving you alone but knowing that once she left you would need someone," explained the golden elf.

"You must be strong Laiqulassё. If not for yourself then for her, many here, including myself, will miss her greatly and are hurting as you hurt. Where she is it is likely that no one will believe what happened, but you can be certain that she will fight on. You have ever said that she has a steely quiet inner strength. It was that strength that aloud her to put you on that boat in the second age against your will. It was that strength that let kept her whole through out her years in Middle-Earth. And now it is that strength that will carry her through her pain. Come Laiqualassё your daughter needs you."

Laiqualasse looked up at his friend with pain riddled eyes and nodded before following Glorfindel down the hill.


End file.
